Dear Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, my strength and my redeemer. It is so important that I get this right. I need for anyone reading this to forget who I am and see only the hand of GOD at work. He has been so loving and merciful that I cannot adequately express the fullness of Him. The testimony of my life started before I was born, but that is a story for another day. Right here, and right now, I want to share with you the depth of my last storm and the power and purposefulness of our Lord. No matter how lost you feel, know that NOTHING has been left to chance and your survival and security is dependant upon your claiming your inheritance as a child of GOD. Let me make this clear….. If you know that you belong to him then know that your future is predetermined, in the hands of GOD almighty and, no matter WHAT your eyes are telling you, it can end no other way but blessed. We have not been given a spirit of fear by our father, so know that when that spirit is upon you, you have veered too far from Him. Come back to the foot of the throne from depression, come back from sleeplessness. Come back from self destructive behaviors. Come back from self doubt. Come back from false humility. Come back from anything that does not look like total Victory! Come back to this throne room, where the prayers of believers are heard. Look first to our Father and through him at the world for answers to your obstacles. For much like our salvation, our victory lies only in him. All other wide paths lead to destruction. Now if you think you know what I’m talkin’ about, read the previous paragraph again. The most devout need to be reminded of this truth on a daily basis. I am making a point of stating it, because it is at the heart of the last lesson my father chose to enforce. Now, He has chosen to bless me with an extremely active mind. It is sometimes hard to shut off and often makes the mistake of thinking it is self sufficient. A few years ago, after GOD had delivered me to my highest professional position ever (VP of a mortgage company) my mind was so busy trying to blaze new trails in business that I had stopped thanking him for favor and started strategizing for my next advance. Now I was still going to church every Sunday, singing in men’s choir once in a while, and tithing every week but just a little too busy to go to discipleship class. I was a little too busy to dedicate to any commitment longer than a Saturday or two. My children were healthy, my wife was a beautiful stay at home mom and the world gave me credit for having it all together. We talked about GOD often enough, so did we really need separate prayer time? With everything finally going right, there was no need to change my behavior, right? Yeah well…… The Good Lord giveth and the Good Lord taketh away. I was so drunk on pride and the material that I did not notice Him slowly deconstructing my world, one beam at a time, in order to get my attention: “Bhek!” “Yes Lord?” “Didn’t you notice those deals that went south last month?” “Oh yeah, that was because I forgot to train my staff better…..: “O.k.” “Bhek!” “Yes Lord?” “Don’t you notice your wife pulling away from you more and more….” “Oh yeah, but that’s because she wants me to spend another $10,000 on some project around the house. A few more deals and she’ll be alright…..” “O.k.” “Bhek!” “Yes Lord?” “Aren’t you wondering why you were never worried about money and now there is never enough?” “Oh yeah, but if I can just figure out how to save this company, we’ll all be fine…” “O.k.” “Bhek!” “Yes Lord?” “Don’t you think you’ve put on more than just a little weight?” “Oh yeah, it’s just this stress. As soon as I figure out how to get through this it will come right off…” “O.k.” “BHEK!!!!!!” “yes Lord?....” “Where have all your friends gone?” “They were all fake anyway GOD, they only want to hang out when I’m doing well. I might need something now, so they all disappeared. I don’t need them anyway.” “Really?......That’s how your gonna read this, huh?” “yeah…why?” “O.k.” “Bhek…” “Yes Lord?” “Don’t you think you should be looking for another job?” “Oh yeah, I just need it to be exactly what I want to do next….” “o.k.” These conversations went on for over two years. GOD would gently take something away trying to get me to turn towards him and I would turn further towards myself. I was stuck in this enemy inspired painful cocktail of ego, pride and shame that kept my senses dull and my connection to GOD one way (form him to me). I don’t know if most of you on mychurch knew that when I first started blogging here, I was unemployed. I was in denial about the utter failure of my company so I’m sure I didn’t speak of it in the past tense at that time. I had no steady income for about 5 months at that time and was in deep depression over my perceived failure as a father, husband and employee. But a funny thing had begun. After almost 7 years of membership at my church, I finally started discipleship class. I started blogging and praying. I started trying to be the friend I wish I had. And you know what? Even in my darkest hours GOD took care of all my needs. Before it was all over, my marriage was strained, I almost lost my house, I went in debt to everyone I know, my credit was trashed, my car was immobilized for 6 months and I went 18 months without a job. BUT GOD!!!!!!!!!! When I needed $3500 and I had -$75 in my bank account, he made it happen. Several times. When I thought they had sold my house at auction, he reversed it and gave it back When I thought my marriage was going to end, we started praying together and are stronger than ever. When I thought I had no friends, he gave me my new best friend (discipleship brother) and you guys. When the job he told me was for me fell through, he brought it back and I was the only candidate. When I thought no one from my past cared, he started a new alumni website from my old school and scores of people searched for and found me. When I thought I would have nothing left to say, he brought back my sanctified mind and I am soooo full I can’t stop the words of thanks! My children never missed a meal, my wife never had to abandon them but was willing to work part time, mychurch family and my church family wrapped their arms around me and lifted me in the name of Jesus, I was given all sorts of blessing that allowed me to care for my family and save face publicly. At the end of the day, GOD blessed me more while my hand was open and empty than he ever could while my fist was clinched around my treasure. For those of you who have been wondering where I have been, I am hallelujah happy to say that I have been working for the Federal Government, running my daughter’s school’s PTA, volunteering host services at charity auctions, in my second year of discipleship class and not too busy to do anything else He asks. I love you all. We serve the same GOD. If he would do all this for my broken soul, just imagine what he will do for all of you. Claim your inheritance!
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