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Elmwood Mennonite Brethren Church |
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I was born in Paraguay, South America to Peter and Gertruda Neufeld on April 19th of 1975. I am the second child/daughter of seven children, six girls and one boy.
We moved to Manitoba, Canada when I was only five on August 20th of 1980. I was raised most of my life in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
I was married to Peter Wall on July 3rd of 1993. We have been blessed with five beautiful children....Kourtnee Rebecka Dawn age 13...Carl Curtis Jesse age 12...Sabina Heidi Pearl age 11...Larissa Christine Abigail age 9...Nico Alexander Nicholas age 6...They truly are all very precious.
I come from a very broken up life. Almost anything that could have happen to a child happened to me. I grew up hating God. I grew angrier at God everyday. I have written a poem entitled “The Cry of My Heart” which illustrated my frustration with God. It is as follows: Where are you God?Why won’t you show your love to me?Why do you allow people to hurt me? Why will you not set me free? Why must this ache in my heartBe so painfully persistent? Why can I not trust you?I long for contentment. When will you hear my voiceAnd answer my prayers?To protect what remains of my sanity,I have already added many layers! Have I not suffered enough?Will this nightmare never end?When will you show me compassion?And send me a true friend? I long for someoneTo reach out and love me,Is this asking too much?Can this never be? Dear God, if you are there,Hear my hearts cry!Give me some solace; I beg of you,Please, answer my whys!
As a teen, I did not care whether I lived or died. I feared dying but did not see any point in going on. I would deliberately walk into the middle of the street so that I would hopefully get hit by a car in order that I could feel on the outside the way I did on the inside. From my early childhood I wanted to die until about a year and a half ago. I had an overdose on over the counter pills about two years ago (August 2005) that should have killed me, however, to the glory of God He decided that no one, not even I, was going to stand in the way of Him completing the good works which He had begun in me. I not only survived but survived without side effects.
I finally came to the realization that God wanted me dead. However, He wanted me to die to “self” and to my rebellion. It almost cost me my life to learn this lesson. From my earliest childhood I learned to lock away my pain. Most people did not care anyway but most importantly, I could not deal with the emotions that overwhelmed my every minute. Most people avoided me like a plague. I could not understand this at the time, but God has opened my eyes since.
When God finally got a hold of my life and I finally submitted to His will, He started to go through the years of pain within my heart. My heart, we could say, is kind of like a house. There were rooms that had been locked up for so many years that the doors had rusted shut. Jesus wanted to clean up every corner of my heart and He wanted me to open up these rooms for Him. This was something I could not do. It took some time for me to start opening up these rooms. People would avoid and scorn me during the opening of these rooms instead of loving me through it. Upon reflection I know, not believe, that I would have done the same in their shoes. I was evil towards others but without that struggle I would not be free today. I was under spiritual house arrest but to the Glory of God Christ Jesus gave me a pardon. I am no longer a prisoner but rather I am free in Christ.One of the first things I noticed over time of God’s work in me was that people weren’t afraid of me anymore, most importantly, my children weren’t afraid of me. It was not that I would beat them but rather, like with other people, I would intimidate them so that I would not have to be vulnerable with anyone, not even my children. I justified this by saying, “If I do not protect myself, then who will?” I have since learned to trust Christ to do the protecting. This isn’t easy to do.Today I am on fire for God. I have no greater joy than to witness for God. I have decided to take my stand for Christ Jesus and be His faithful slave (even though I have an extremely wild personality which God has His work cut out to control, but secretly I enjoy every minute of this “Wild Personality” as some have already guessed). After God saved my life I dedicated my life to Him. However, pain and sorrow still came into my life with full force. But now I have Christ as my comforter. On one of these attacks I wrote another poem entitled “Attention: God”.
Sometimes I feel God’s presence so intently that I feel as though He is giving me a great big bear hug. It was at one of these times that I wrote a poem entitled “The Love of God”. God is truly an awesome God.I feel God is leading me into ministry and I cannot get to know others by being docile, that is why I know that my personality is a good thing.
Many years ago I heard a testimony that really stuck out and which the staff of Focus on the Family sent me for free. It was the testimony of Benjy Clark Mallory. Her story help me to stop feeling sorry for myself, however I still struggled with using the victim card when I felt I needed to protect myself. God in His grace and goodness has been helping me to quit doing this. Keep praying for me.God has worked so many miracles in the last few years of my life that I will burst if I do not share them.
My life is a testimony to the amazing love and forgiveness of God. I hope God opens many doors for me to share this message everywhere, pray for this. Pray that our family will be healed. Thank you. | | Movies Love comes softly, Loves enduring Promise, Anne of green Gables | | Music Jack Jackson | | Books the mark of the lion series |
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 | posted 1 year ago | | |  | 1 comment | | |  | 2 stars | | | 266 reads |
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| posted 1 year ago | | | 281 reads |
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| posted 1 year ago | | | 282 reads |
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willice okoth says ...
He has risen
Almighty God , who through His son Jesus Christ ,overcame death and opened to us the gate of evalasting life has yet shown His immense power today.Let us celebrate with joy the day of His ressurection:death is deafeted by the life giving holy spirit who live and reins {to the person who invite it}now and forever ,amen.May the protection of the Lord sorround you ,your work and your family.Have a nice Easter holida!!!
Read John 13:1-15
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