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It's taken me some time to be able to get out all the thoughts in my head - and I don't think I will be able to get all of it out in this blog, but there are a few inter-related things that I am going to attempt to connect. I am having difficulty trying to translate everything into words, so please excuse the length and haphazardness of the following.
The beginning of my April 24 "experience" this year started on the 23rd. I went to go get my morning coffee at Andy's (name changed) - a new coffee house in my area. Since it's opening I have been going there often to do my homework (free wifi!) and so I have gotten to know Andy somewhat in the last few months, enough at least, to have the following discussion with each other.
So on April 23rd, on my way to school, I stopped in for some coffee. I noticed that he had postcards advertising the March in Hollywood. The stubborn part of me told me to bring it up and discuss my opinion of it (since I knew it was likely to differ from his). But the rational egalitarian in me told me just to let it go, we all have our views, you need to get to class, just don't say anything. I said something anyway. We started discussing it and I voiced my opinion. Yes, it's important to be vocal, to get our message across. But marching in Hollywood gets media attention - but what media will cover the entire story - more than a little blurb about the disturbance? The Armenian reporter? So we're preaching to the choir? And then to protest in front of an empty Turkish embassy? What is the point? Andy was for it, though he said we shouldn't lose momentum after a day. His solution? Let's make the entire month of April our remembrance time. I argued by saying, would it not be more effective to be proactive? And that we should do so not just on April 24, not just the month of April, but everyday. The pain that our grandparents and great grandparents suffered is continuing today. Because of what has happened to our people, we should help those that are going through the same thing in Darfur. Andy continued to argue with me that because of what our people have been through we should use what we have today to help the Armenians. This was the first time I had been personally hit with this statement, despite the numerous times our church has been told the same for years. I told him we do help Armenia, and if that is something you are compelled to do, then so be it. But is marching in Hollywood helping Armenia? We went back and forth on this and what struck me was when he said, "you can try to help people all you want, but you have to think, 'are you really going to make a difference?' You can spend your life trying to help and not get anywhere, and then where will you be?" and I said yes - telling him the work we have done to help the situation in Darfur: camp Darfur, the million postcard project leading to divestment of the UC system, our 7x77 conference, etc. This silenced him about it for a little bit, and I wanted to continue, but needed to get to class.
Andy's attitude toward our work frustrated me and I was worked up for the entire day. How could he think that making a difference is so difficult? And - was this how most of the world felt? How could he look at what was happening in Darfur and say, well, I am not going to waste my time because I might not get anywhere. And it hit me. Andy is not a religious man. I grew up in the Armenian church. I am an Orthodox Christian. I always just pictured the world - every individual - to be within their own little religious pocket. Everyone believes as they wish, and we are all human. While this statement is true, I guess what I am trying to get at is that I never realized the strength that a lesson from the Bible can carry, and how without that lesson, maybe there is less regard for humanity? And that I never put much thought into the difference in thinking between Armenians, and Armenian Christians - since the two were always synonymous with each other in my mind. "Truly I say to you, that which you have done for the least of my brothers and sisters, you have done for me" (Matt. 25:40). It's the basis for our In His Shoes mission. It is the verse I have heard repeated over the last 9 years since I have been active in our youth programs. It is a verse we base our life's work on. I realized after my discussion that if someone has never heard this before, or if they have heard it and don't believe it, what would be their basis for compassion? What would break the barriers of ethnocentrism to allow us to care for all people, of all races, religions and creeds? Sure, for the non-religious person there is still an element of compassion, altruism, and empathy for those that suffer, but does helping those that suffer mean as much?
It is with this situation, or revelation, that I entered our 30 hour Famine this year - almost trying to cultivate the quotes and ideas being tossed around, as if to write a letter of explanation to Andy, but rather, I cultivated my thoughts and am trying to write this blog. I was at our very first famine 8 years ago. How far we've come. I remember knowing that we were helping save lives, but other than playing some games and finding out that some people had snuck out to eat - and came back with garlic breath - is about all I remember. I was 14. Obviously, as we grow older, our focus on the mission and goal of the Famine and of In His Shoes becomes more and more clear, but I don't think remember having felt the power - or the energy - of this event as much in the past. I started off the Famine knowing that despite what other people believed, I believed that it was right to help others, that it was what God wanted me to do. It's like David Mgrublian's classic "I am Third" story - in which a successful young man shares his motto in life, "God is first, others are second, and I am third." Despite our hunger, we were doing this for God and for others. What we were going through didn't matter, because we are already taken care of. We had a day full of amazing discussions. Understanding that we must take on our responsibility as descendents of genocide survivors to help those that are starving and being persecuted today, taking on responsibility for ourselves, and our knowledge of what is going on in the world, everything we discussed emphasized what had been stewing in my mind for days.
While I was taking in the lessons from all the discussions, I stepped back to review the Famine as a whole, and what I saw blew me away. To see that our group of 40 - some younger some older, some veterans and some newbees - we had all come together, because we believed this. We understood that we had an obligation as humans, as Christians, and as Armenians, to give back to others. And I realized that not only did everyone believe it, but everyone lived it. As Michael said several times during the event - and I paraphrase - "for a bunch of starving people, it is interesting to see the energy that we gain in each other's company." And it was true. Yes, we were hungry, and yes, it was difficult, but it didn't matter, we couldn't turn our heads to the faces of the children who were starving, or the victims of a genocide so similar to our own. I am so proud of all the participants of this years Famine and want to thank them for making this such a wonderfully moving and memorable experience for me. We each have the ability to make a difference in the world, and together we have done, and will continue to do just that. Hopefully with time our perseverance will show through and others will join us, but until then, we know that what we are doing is God's will and with that, we are not alone.
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With the rain pounding down last night at Bible Study, we had a fun discussion about Fate vs. Free will. Since we're all still inside avoiding the rain, I thought we could bring it up for discussion.
If God is all knowing, then how are we free to make decisions in our life?
If we have free will, then how can God be all knowing?
What do you guys think??
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Tonight we toast to the new year - glasses in hand (we'll be having Glogg tonight), we raise them up to the next 365 days to come, the clean slate, the promises we make to ourselves that we will work hard to keep. Among these resolutions, we always make a wish for Peace on Earth. Why wouldn't we? In an evening full of hopes and wishes, why not wish for the one thing this world needs most?
In this spirit I joined a group on FACEBOOK today (a site similar to this minus the religious ties). The group is called "I Bet I Can Find 1,000,000 People Who Just Want Peace." I have to say, I was intrigued mostly by the cool Peace Sign picture they had - I don't really pay much attention to these groups, but I figured, 'Hey, why not? I want peace!' The group's focus was to just have everyone take 10 minutes out of the day to do something good for someone else and then, hopefully the love will spread - like the 'pay it forward' effect. So I went to go look for at the groups site and saw that there was a discussion board, and having been inspired by all the posting that we have been doing on MyChurch, I decided to check out what other people were saying about this yearly wish we all make.
I found a discussion titled, "Yeah, so what?" - one guy had written about how peace on Earth is unattainable because we are human. Few commented back, one preaching more about her Baha'i church than discussing peace, some talking about the second coming of Christ, and a few others just throwing in little thoughts in passing, 'how can I bring peace?' etc. I decided to write back.
My belief is that before peace in any large sense can be attained, we must first be at peace with ourselves. Doing something for someone else, as we have all learned at our church, is a rewarding feeling, a peaceful feeling. We have to recognize that we are all different. We will all have our varying beliefs, cultures, religions, etc. but in order for us to be at peace with one another, we must have a respect for one another, and with that, a respect for our own selves. What do you all think? Is peace on Earth really attainable? Where does it begin? and what does it look like? How will the world be when it is at peace? Is it something we can wish for when we 'clink' our glasses together tonight?
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