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I can't pick myself up and get to church. I don't know why, but I know I need to go. I have complete guilt about not going and struggle with my faith terribly. I am torn and broken and do not know what to do or where to turn so I am asking for some guidance, suggestions, how some of you may have been there, done that, and rose from the disparity to get to where you are now. I have two boys that need me to guide them and I am not doing well in that area of their lives so I am failing in that respect.
I look forward to any and all suggestions, recommendations, and assistance. God Bless!!
Shelly
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My uncle, Roy Banning, who lives in Texas, has survived lung cancer, Praise God!! Unfortunately, the radiation has left him fighting pneumonia and he has been in and out of the hospital and is not doing so well. I have not seen my uncle in over 30 years due to family issues that have since started healing, distance, and of course good ol' time keeps ticking away. We are having a family reunion this summer here in Bakersfield and I know our prayers can work against just about anything when we work together, we are warriors!! My uncle is planning to be here for the reunion and with all of our prayers, I know God will heal him for the trip. I know you all have a lot on the prayer plate, we all do, but if you could move everything over and squeeze another one on, my family and I would appreciate it. All our love and God Bless you all!!
Shelly
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I was never raised up with strong Christian values. My grandparents never went to church, so neither of my parents went, but a very few times that I can barely remember. Needless to say, I struggle with my going and the responsibility I have to my children. I believe the Holy Spirit is jumping up and down in front of me just screaming telling me to get back to church (that and the new sanctuary that I just can't help but miss on my way to work at Cal State Bakersfield every morning), so I am a believer. I grew up with knowledge of God, Heaven and hell, knew about the Bible, but never read it and can't even tell you if we had one in our home as a child.
My boys' father is Catholic so I converted to Catholicism when we got married, but am not practicing. I have nothing against the religion, but I don't necessarily believe in a "religion" versus the Word of the Lord and the life He wants me and my children to live. That is why I have always enjoyed VBF because it isn't about a religion or a statue or a symbol or worship of anything other than Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. It is about fellowship and family and love and comfort and togetherness.
I think my biggest challenge is going to church and staying on track. Part of the problem is that I have never really learned how to pray, how to read the Bible, how to memorize verses (I am amazed at how people can have quotes at the top of their head from so many in such a huge collection), and I don't know how to teach my children to do those things. In trying, we kind of wing it and it doesn't feel right and we give up. We are planning on enrolling in the upcoming Christianity Classes and I feel that will be a great guide for us to get us started down the path and keep us going forward with God and VBF, a place we really want to be.
We are new, and every time we start going again, we feel new all over, but we are never left feeling unwelcomed. We don't know anyone from church on a first name basis as of yet, but I have met many of you here and you have all made me feel just as welcome here as you have at church. I look forward to meeting you all face-to-face and if you see me, stop me and say hello. With so many people at our church, I may be overwhelmed with trying to follow service, making sure my boys aren't acting up and just remembering where I parked, that I may not recognized any of you, though completely unintentional!
Also, my boys are in junior high and like to sit with me because they don't know anyone in the junior high room yet. The go to Stiern Middle School, my oldest will be graduating in June and my youngest is in 6th grade. If any of you attend or have children that attend Stiern and can give suggestions toward making my boys relax a little, that would be so helpful. I know they would get so much more from their experience from the ministry geared toward their age group.
I'm sure this isn't a new experience what I am going through, and I am sure that a lot of you have been through the struggle I am going through, so I trusting you to give me hints on how you made it through and are where you are today. I'm sure God touched every step as he will touch mine, but my heart is heavy and I really want it to stick this time! Thanks :o)
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