~ Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

~ You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of your chair.

~ The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!

~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

~ You have five TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

~ That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

~ Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed.

~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

~ You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

~ It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.