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| A Gay Thanksgiving |
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Another Thanksgiving is written into history. I thought I would share a few thoughts with you about my Thanksgiving this year.
This year was a little different...we went to my nephew's house. He and his "partner" had just bought their first home, and wanted to have the family over for Thanksgiving. There were a lot of people (22), in a small area, and it was interesting. Did I mention my nephew is gay? I remember the time when the word gay was used to refer to being happy. Now it has a whole new meaning, but it also still means happy (hence the title of this blog).
I love my nephew, and I even care for his friend...they are both great guys. I just don't understand their choice of lifestyle. It goes against everything I was taught, and I know it is not biblical. However, I am not sure how to approach him about God, because of a previous experience he has had with a "christian".
My nephew has been told about God, but I am afraid it was from someone who believes a bit differently than I do. This person basically told my nephew that if he didn't change his ways, that he would no longer be welcome at family functions. (This person is no longer in our family because of divorce). I personally don't see her behavior as Christian behavior. I know that in the bible there are places that say that if someone doesn't want to hear what you have to say about God, then shake the dust off your feet and move on. But if we no longer have anything to do with that person because they want to continue sinning, then how will we ever reach them? How can they ever really truly learn about the love of Christ for them? If they see us treating them like the plague, then that is not a good picture of Christ, is it?
My newphew and his partner set out a great spread of food for this Thanksgiving, had a huge number of family and friends over, people who still love them even though they may not agree with their lifestyle. I can't help but think that Jesus would be right there in the thick of things, having dinner with us...He would treat them no differently. He would love them.
I will continue to love them, and at some point, maybe the opportunity will come to witness to him, but in the meantime, he knows that I am a Christian, and perhaps just my behavior towards him will be enough of a statement of God.
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Deb, when I read the title I really thought you just meant "a happy Thanksgiving"! Get ready for the comments, sister. This could be an interesting discussion.....
BTW, we have some gay neighbors, and we bend over backwards to make them feel loved and accepted as people, as friends. I pray they see God's love through us, not his judgment, which Jesus willingly suffered for them. |
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Have to get into this because "Gay" is such a big problem now a day. I believe strongly this man has turned his back on God. Do so and don't expect him to turn around untill you want him, really want him. Remember, there is a strict commandment. That is to obay them. To break such a commandment is to exibit a perverce adtitude that will bring young and old to hell with him.
If you care to help him with his travels. Don't be surprised to find yourself on a bad trip!
Love is diffacult. Tough love is even worst. He needs it tough, in my opinion!! |
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Lisa C |
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November 24, 2007 at 2:14pm |
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Deb, Continue to " Walk in Love". Pray for oppurtunities, and remember the Holy Spirit donesn't need our help, He just disires to use us when He can. Thanks for being Christ-minded!!
For all you who will read this and not agree, don't both to write a responce. I will not read it. |
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Praise the Lord Deb,
The word of God says "If I (meaning Jesus) be lifted up, I (meaning Jesus) will draw all men unto me.
I believe that you are on the right track. When I first got saved I thought that it was up to me to bring people to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but I sooned learned that it was my job just to lift him up. I lift him up in my lifestyle and that lifestyle is immersed in the unconditional love of God which goes out to everyone I meet. It is God's job to draw and to judge. We who are Christ' children know what the bible says concerning lifesytles that don't add up to God's expectations but we cannot change anyone. Only God can. So let us keep liftin and God keep drawin through that liftin, if you get what I mean. We'll all be surprised to see what God can do with an anointed show of himself through His love exhibited through His body on earth (You & Me) Mix your faith with patience and keep on lovin your nephew and his friend. They will see your stand more than they will see your words and one day come to the realization, if it is God's will, that your standing on Holy ground where God says "For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."-John 3:17
Pastor Ken (Kenami) |
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| Deb, I agree, you are being very Christ-like in this situation. It's a tough thing to do, but you are right....how will we reach those kinds of people if we stop having anything to do with them? Acting that way toward people like that is prideful, and it's what the enemy wants us to do. |
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Deb,
Just a word of encouragement - He needs to know Jesus loves Him before he can be expected to have his heart changed. You keep loving him and let your nephew see that Jesus has been loving him through you. Without Jesus, he won't be able to see his lifestyle for what it is.
Chris |
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Is homosexuality a sin? I think would all have to agree that the answer to that question is a resounding yes.
But so is adultery, and lying, and stealing, and on, and on, and on. In James we are told that if we break even one part of the law, we have broken the entire law. Then is Romans 13 we are told that we are to obey all earthly authorities. Therefore, if we drive 55 miles an hour in a 56 mile an hour zone, we have broken the law, all of it.
I know that driving 56 miles an hour hardly seems to compare, in our carnal minds, to homosexuality, but to God, sin is sin.
I spent the entire Thanksgiving day couped up in my apartment alone. Yes, I was fasting and in prayer, but I could have been out helping the homeless or laying hands on the sick, or even raising the dead. Was my sin any less than theirs? In the eyes of God, I think not.
I admire you Deb. In my opinion, and it's the only opinion I've got, you acted just like Jesus in that situation. Agreeing with you, I believe he would have been right there with you. Feasting, laughing, and loving.
Keep shining your light. Eventually they may both come present you with the question "What must we do to be saved?"
Michael
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I can't help but think that Jesus would be right there in the thick of things, having dinner with us...He would treat them no differently. He would love them.
I can see him there also.......my brother was gay for 15 years 1960-75....he turned to God to help him and practiced abstiance for 4 years before he met a widow with 2 children and married...they had one child of their own....they were married 30 years before his death and many admired their marriage......
It was my attitude during the time he was actively homosexual, that if he did not repent he would burn in hell........How I prayed, longed for, and pleaded with God to do something to help him........as I saw that sin as worse than any other...........I really credited myself for battling for his salvation, I am not of that mindset at this time......I believe it was all God reaching to my brother and loving him through me......I didn't know how to love him............Over the years my brother would credit me as the one coming to him and helping him find God.......and I took the credit..................NOW I know I couldn't have loved him........it was my Father who did the work and that was why I couldn't let go until light had come to my brother........
At this time in my life I work with many so called Gays......I have gone their candlelight vigils to fight aids.......viewed the aids quilts when they came to town, and have asked the Lord to help me see these as myself........needing what our saviour offers and I don't believe I have a right to speak into their lives unless I truly love them.......love them.....without seeing them as another chance to do something FOR THE LORD, thinking I might hon my witnessing techniques, or get another brownie point in looking for an opportunity to tell them about Christ..........by being their friend many opportunities have come to tell them God loves them just as they are........I don't need to tell them what to do ........just point them to the one who loves them...........the two of them can figure out the next moves just as he has done with me.......
I don't see the sin of homosexuality different than any sin........I've been friends with those in adultery.....alcoholics, drug addicts, habitual gossips, gluttons, those who have fits of rage, proud boasters, fearful and many other such........hard at times to want to be with , but I see them as needing a saviour as I once did when someone loved me enough to put up with my sins.......thats all folks..............we all sin, miss the mark and were/are bound .......in so many areas and still do need a saviour.......to walk free....
Thank you to those who would allow Christ to love through them........for such were some of us........
Love,
Joian |
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Kathy |
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November 24, 2007 at 5:34pm |
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| Great post, Deb. Jesus spent much time eating with the marginalized ones. Ours is to love. |
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deac |
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November 24, 2007 at 5:39pm |
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Hi Deb, This is Deac... So many people are dealing with your dilema these days especially christians who wish to bring Christ to their lost friends and family members before it is too late. Christians are not really supposed to be P.C.(politically correct) see John 17 and 18, sign of the time.) The reason for that is that the secular world we live in is the enemy of the Lord and Savior Jesus whom we love and serve. So what would Jesus do? in your situation? Better question would be what did Jesus do? He loved the sinner, and hated the sin, scripture is very clear about that, when it came to sin there was no compromise. (yet) to the woman taken in adultery in the very act, Jesus said, "neither do I condemn you"..." Go and sin no more".) Yes, sodomy,all homosexual activities are sin. Back to the original question.What did Jesus do ? Jesus gave law to the proud. But GRACE to the humble... Don't try to argue with him about his homosexuality it won't work! I've tried instead give him the law of God's word the Bible, in the form of the ten commandments until he is convinced by the law that he is a sinner, not a homosexual or gay but a sinner. (1 Cor. 6:9-11.) Do it lovingly and respectfully but allow God to convict him and convince him through the Spirit of Christ, Remember Jesus said: 16:8 And he, when he is come, will convict the world in respect of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: 16:9 of sin, because they believe not on me; 16:10 of righteousness, because I go to the Father, and ye behold me no more; 16:11 of judgment, because the prince of this world hath been judged. ASVJohn 16:8-11 The best thing you can do for him is to bypass his "intellect" which is the place of arguement, How? by sharing with him Gods' law. The law will set him free. The law will bring him to Christ.
Then with the ten commandments after he is broken and sorry for his sin, give him GOD's GRACE. Please go here to find out how you can effectively reach him win him to Christ with truth. The genuine transforming gospel. Love you both in Christ.... the deac http://wayofthemaster.com |
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| Deb, All I can say is thank you Jesus... I am struggling with these same issues and just today, I told a friend of mine that I was going to the Pastor and talk with him and ask him to show me Biblically what as a Christian I am suppose to do.... AND THEN PRAISE THE LORD WAS YOUR BLOG! I agree with you and with most of the comments I have read on your blog. I just can't get over this blog being posted right now at this time when I needed it so. Thanks! |
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| Your assumption seems to be Deb that he cannot be both gay and Christian. A good book that may help you on both you and your nephew's journey is "Homosexuality and Churches:Questions of Consicence For Churches" by Walter Wink. |
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Jen |
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November 24, 2007 at 6:35pm |
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| Hey, Deb! You can add my name under Pastor Aminata's; I agree with her comment wholeheartedly. Blessings to you for caring for your family. |
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Deb, great post. You are seeing through the eyes of Christ. We all have sin in our lives - some more visible than others. Since we all fall short, it is a very worthy thing to love in spite of the sin.
What Jen said - only I think it was the "he" and not the "her" of the Pastor Aminata... |
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Chrissy |
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November 24, 2007 at 7:23pm |
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Deb, I'm glad to see so many who are commenting desire to love. All we see now a-days is self-righteous conservatives bashing arrogant liberals. Quite frankly, I could leave them both. I want to be known as a loving daughter of Christ. And just for the record, I'm with Deac....Love the sinner, hate the sin. What does that mean exactly? I believe it is being honest about what you believe and why, not enabling the sin or pretending to be okay with it. I have a friend who complains a lot--a sin, I believe--but I love her anyway and change the subject to something else. I know others who are promiscuous, but I love them anyway. They all know where I stand. I have friends and family who are crude, rude, and even self destructive, but I love them anyway. They know not to cuss in my house. I'm not perfect, and I admit I may not always handle things as lovingly as I should. Dark Radian stated that there is an assumption that one cannot be both gay and Christian. Of coure one can, just as there are Christians caught up in all kinds of strongholds. However, we should all strive to be disciples of Christ. Regardless of all of the twisting and rationalizing we may try to do to convince ourselves our cherished sin is really not a sin, or just not a bad one, the fact is we are fooling ourselves. Stealing 50 cents or 50 million dollars is still stealing. Sinning when one knows it is wrong, or has been enlightened to the fact that it is wrong is intentional sin. The Bible is pretty clear that the Lord's justice will fit the "crime". Again, whether we like it or not, sin is sin, however, I have to believe that just like premeditated crimes, the justice for intentional sins is more severe. So, why do I bring this up? Because we all have a sin that someone is loving us through. It may be different, it may be less "severe" in our minds, but the reality is that until we are perfected by Christ in heaven, Jesus will be loving us and working the sin out of us if we are willing. If one is not willing, than the Lord will let us continue in our cherished sin but we will reap the repurcussions. This is where prayer and faith of the Body are critical. I always tell people God doesn't let go of His own easily--not without a fight! When we pray for someone, I just know God is fighting for them to come back to Him! Keep loving Deb, and thanks for a great and thought provoking blog. Its a topic many won't touch because its not PC. God bless you for inspiring many! |
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Gene |
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November 24, 2007 at 10:03pm |
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Deb, you have such great comment on your post that i cannot think of anything substantive to add. So, I'll just say what I think the rest are all saying, we're praying for you and your nephew and hope that god will give you the grace and opportunity to share what God has done through Jesus.
Peace. |
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R |
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November 25, 2007 at 4:51am |
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Hey Deb, As a very much side-note, I wonder how many people looked at your title Deb, and had these two thoughts about it: 1. Deb and family had a great thanksgiving - a gay ol' time and/or... 2. Deb and family had some contact with homosexuals? I remember singing Deck the Halls when I was a kid, and no one probably thought that, "Don we now our gay apparel, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Troll the ancient Yuletide carol, Fa la la la la la, la la la la," would ever make anyone think about guys putting on pink dresses. I sure wish we could take this 'gay' word back because when applied as the title for homosexuals it is anything but gay. It is one of the biggest slaps in the face to God in regards to His giving us the ability to reproduce. But... I hear what you are saying and agree whole heartedly (expect for my picky point), we reach out to them in love; tender love and tough love. R... |
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Deb |
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November 25, 2007 at 10:38am |
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Jack, thank you for your comments. I will continue to love my nephew and his friend, and pray for them with the hope that Jesus will make all things right in the end. And to your latest comment, thank you for sharing this post from this person. I found it very interesting and touching.
Mike, I guess I chose to say a Gay Thanksgiving as kind of a play on words, since it has two meanings, and I meant both for this blog. Anyway, thank you for your comments.
Golden2100, I don't know if I am capable of tough love. I just love him, and I treat him the way I think Jesus would treat him, and I hope by doing that, I am showing him the love of God. And I pray a lot.
Lisa C., I will continue to pray for him and love him, really that is all I can do, and God has to do the rest!
Pastor Ken, I too thought that I had to save people for Jesus, but I just need to tell them about Him, and then He has to do the rest through the Holy Spirit. I cannot save anyone, only God can. I apprecaite your comments!
Christine, I couldn't agree with what you said more. The enemy tears down, God builds up.
Youth Pastor, thank you for what you said. I may be the only way my nephew ever sees Jesus, and it is a humbling position to be in.
Michael, thank you...I will continue to try to shine my light and keep praying for them to see it.
Joian, wow, what an encouragement you have been with your story of your brother. This is proof of what God can do, as if I needed any proof. But it is definitely encouraging for me to hear this. Thank you so much.
Heavenbound, I am so sorry that you have no communication with your son. I will pray for him. Do not give up hope. God can and will do miracles with him!
Kathy, our job is to love, seems so simple doesn't it? But yet, somehow it is not easy. Thanks for your comments.
Deac, thank you for your comments. I know that to argue with my nephew would be a waste of time and perhaps even cause hard feelings, so I have no intention of doing that, or of turning my back on him. I also thank you for the link you included, I am going to check it out after I finish posting this.
Cheryl, I am glad that this blog came along at the right time for you...I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in God-incidences. He had it all planned out.
Dark Radiance, thank you for the book suggestion. I will have to check it out. At this point, my nephew is gay and is NOT a christian, nor does he wish to be.
Jen, thank you!
DC, yep, we all sin and fall short. Some of those sins are visible, some are not. If we loved others based on their ability to not sin, there wouldn't be much love going around...does that make sense?
Chrissy, wow, I loved all your comments. Thank you! This really hit me...we all have a sin that someone is loving us through. How true that is! And all that you said is very thought provoking!
Gene, thank you for your comments and prayers.
R, I chose the title to be a little play on words, and to draw attention :) It was happy, and I was with a few homosexuals. And as has been said here before, I hate the sin, but I still love the sinner.
Thanks all for your great comments!
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| My name is Tom Richardson. Your blog about "Thanksgiving" means a lot to me. I struggle with the concept of "Loving the Sinner and hateing the sin." You have challenged me to grow in my Christian Faith. I need to trust God. |
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Deb |
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February 19, 2008 at 12:07pm |
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| Tom, I am glad to have challenged you! As a Christian, we must never stop growing in our faith. I will agree that it is a challenge for me to "love the sinner and hate the sin"...especially when someone isn't ashamed of their sins. But we can do it with God's help...that is sometimes the only way we can do it! |
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