October 19, 1996:    “My curiosity builds in the area of having a relationship with a female.  I want to be with one…”

December 3,1996:  “I’ve been contemplating telling my parents about my sexuality.  What would I say?  I know them pretty well, and I know christianity would be more than mentioned…”

December 17, 1996:  “I also want to “come out of the closet” to my parents, or at least my mom.  I had my heart set on doing it this Xmas, but talking to different people, I’m hesitant.   Should I?  Is it for the better, for the worse?  Is it worth it?  I don’t know.  I hate to hurt them so badly.  I even called Kid’s Help Phone.  The counselor really didn’t help though.  I guess I was groping for unanswerable questions.  I expected too much from one man on the other end of the line…I guess I want a wise man to tell me the “right” thing to do.  This is really bothering me.  It isn’t an easy thing to tell your parents.  What do you say?  “Hey Mom and Dad, I’m bisexual—I like girls as well as guys!”  Arrghh!  I ‘ve gotta just go with what feels right.  I don’t want to hide it anymore.  I can’t.

  The last week’s been a mixture of depression, boredom and thought.  I just wish I could find someone to lean on that could empathize and care.  Is that too much to ask for?  I dunno.  Sometimes I feel old for my age, but then I feel so young.  What to do.  Who is there to turn to?  God, probably, but I’ve drifted so far, and gone my own way…”

  This came from my own, personal diary.  I was 18 years old.  I share this because I want to offer hope to parents of homosexual kids, and to those who are struggling with homosexuality.

  Although some churches now condone it, the practice is clearly forbidden by God’s word (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:26+27, 1 Timothy 9+10, 1 Corinthians 6:9+10).  More bluntly put, it’s an abomination and a sin.  However, just telling someone caught up in it isn’t enough.  If anything, it just makes them feel more condemned, hopeless and angry with God.

  I don’t believe people are “born” gay (we’ll use this term because it’s much shorter than ‘homosexual’.  Please bear with me).  You will see men who seem quite feminine in mannerisms who “turn out” gay.  They may have more of certain hormones  present as research has shown, but that isn’t what makes them gay.  I’ve never done the stats, but I’d say most of the men who are gay, were molested by another male, lacked a male leader in the home (or the one they had was rarely home) and were raised mostly by females.  As for the feminine qualities, people notice those things.  Next thing you know, they’re calling him a “faggot” or a “fruit”.  Then that sly devil comes in and starts whispering in his ear, “Maybe it’s true.  Maybe you are gay.”  So the lie; the deception, begins.  Same with molestation.  The boy is naturally physically aroused, so the devil tells him, because it felt good, he must be gay.  It’s just like when you tell a child they’re stupid all the time.  After a while, the majority will start to believe it, and even act it.  Words are powerful!

  I was molested by relatives for a huge part of my childhood.  I recall, for as long as I can remember, being attracted to women.  As I grew older, I was used and abused by men to the point of which, for a while, I wasn’t very attracted to men at all; more so women.  Oft times, lesbians have been women abused by men.  Or they lack female influence or are “tomboyish” as I was with two older brothers and no sisters.

  What happens with many of these homosexuals who grew up in a Christian home and know what the Bible truly says about homosexuality, is they are hurt and confused.  They are caught in a lie, and angry with God, declaring, “Why did You create me into what You hate?  That’s not fair!”  They are deceived into thinking they were created gay.

   When I got born again, I thought that I should be “instantly delivered” of this.  When I still found myself fighting the attraction, I lied to people out of shame.  Some people are instantly delivered; I wasn’t. 

  So am I denying the feelings are real?  No.  They are as real as the air we breathe.  But this is what it comes down to: “…Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fufill the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish.” –Romans 5:16,17 (NKJV).  Your flesh desires what is contrary to God’s Spirit; practicing homosexuality is one such thing.  When we surrender to the Lord, and walk in the Spirit, this is a choice.

  No, we were not born gay.  Yes, the attraction, the feelings are real, but they are sin.  And yes, you can choose to repent of it.

  Parents of homosexuals; love them, don’t nag them.  Chances are, if they know the Word, they already know they’re sinning.  Don’t brush it off.  When I told a Christian woman who was counseling me when I was 16, that I thought I was bisexual, she said, “Oh, don’t be silly!”.  Case closed.  Don’t sugar coat either.  They need to choose between their lifestyle and God’s lifestyle.

  For those of you who may be practicing this or struggling with it, there is hope.  His name is Jesus, and He loves you.  By His Spirit, you can turn from it, and He will fulfill any emptiness you may have.  He will heal the wounds.  Rest assured.  But you must call it what it is: Sin.  You aren’t alone.  I promise you God didn’t create you to be gay, He created you to be in a relationship with Him.  And He’s waiting with arms of love for you….He’s got something so much better!!  Believe me; I know!!!