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| Missing Miss Meg |
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Sunday, November 25, was a very difficult day. The kids and I went to the assisted living center, as we usually do after church, expecting to warmly greet and worship with the usual group of elderly ladies (mostly Alzheimer’s patients). But this day someone was missing, in fact two.
We were informed right away that one of our favorites (God doesn’t play favorites, but we’re human), Miss Meg, whom we've worshiped with for well over a year (maybe two), was in the ICU at a nearby hospital. It seems a mere change in her living quarters sent her into a tailspin health-wise. Furthermore, another of our favorites (sorry, still human), Miss Imogene, was unable to leave her room to join us for worship, as she was suffering from terrible joint pains and wished to die.
By Monday morning, Miss Meg was gone. She had passed away overnight. I hate receiving news like that at work. I hate explaining tears while at my desk. My son (8 yrs old) took the news particularly hard. He told Mommy, “She always said I looked handsome in my suit."
By Thursday, Miss Imogene was taken away to a nursing home, and we’ll never see her again either*. The kids and I have been praying for her daily since, but eventually those prayers will cease. But her memory will remain with us. As will the memory of Miss Meg. And Mr. Dan. And Miss Sophia. And Miss Bernice. And Miss Virginia. Needless to say, this is a somewhat difficult ministry. I’m beginning to question why God would put someone with a compassionate heart such as mine in a place like this. What makes me a good fit to minister here also makes it the hardest place for me to minister. One of the prices I pay for God’s sovereignty, I suppose.
Below are some of the things I (we) will never forget about Miss Meg.
She was born in Scotland, and came to America as a young lady. She met her husband in Chicago. She loved him dearly. This I know because the one time I asked about him, her eyes welled up as she lovingly described him. She barely recognized us from week to week, but the memories of her late husband, who died about 25 years ago, still seized upon her emotions. Alzheimer’s is very strange.
Miss Meg often wore plaid slacks and matching plaid jacket. This is the mental picture I will always have of her. She also hated sports (football was the worst!), was fiercely religious (she honestly couldn’t understand why our church service wasn’t filled to capacity every Sunday), was Presbyterian most of her life, and often hummed and danced as she walked away after our service. Her face always broke into a radiant smile the moment she recognized the kids and I, and was as eager to go with us to “church” as a kid going to the movies. We looked forward to seeing her every Sunday!
We love you Miss Meg, and know that we’ll see you in heaven. We miss you!
...lovingly written with tears, and smiles…..
* Miss Imogene passed away shortly thereafter, on Dec. 16, 2008. |
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Mike I suspect if we lived closer together one of the things I'd find most endearing is your ability to feel feelings. I'm still in the process of learning to shed real tears. I suspect that comes from a lifetime of being raised to be a real Welshman. The bible simply sais cry when they cry and laugh when they laugh. ( I hope I'm getting it right ) I suspect you and the kids while learning many precious lessons are quite a blessing to the Miss Megs in life.
For many years I spent a lot of times repairing wheel chairs and such in quite a few nursing homes. I found that Nursing homes are in desparate need of love. Staff is over worked, and if some one can come in and just leave a little love.
Who knows who you will meet in better circumstances in eternity that you might not have meant.
Love,
Dave |
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| OK I kind of wanna tear up a little bit right now myself. |
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When we lose our loved ones, we shed tears. Mike, I could feel the agony in your heart for the dear one whom you loved.
Recently a dear servant of God passed into glory in Delhi. He was suffering from terminal cancer but wanted to attend our church service on a particular Sunday when I happened to be in Delhi. You can see our beautiful church in my profile. He came there walking with the support of his wife, friends and children. He could not talk to me but only shed tears as I held his hands and prayed for him. When I saw him off at the church, a feeling came into my heart that I was seeing him off finally as it was his final farewell. He passed into glory last week after I came back to Bangalore. My last word to him was "rejoice in the Lord always". I also told him that the Lord would him the best. The best was his home call to be with the Lord. The death of saints is precious in the sight of the Lord. |
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Kathy |
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December 08, 2007 at 6:53am |
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| MIke, you started my day with tears! Such a beautiful blog, filled with love and lessons. This line speaks volumes: "I’m beginning to question why God would put someone with a compassionate heart such as mine in a place like this. What makes me a good fit to minister here also makes it the hardest place for me to minister." You are obviously in the right place! |
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| Thank you, friends. Such beautiful comments. Kathy and Marcella, I think it oddly fitting that he has put us there. I think the heartache of loss only enhances our love, for the ladies we have left as well as the new ones we'll meet. |
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| As you know Mike this is an especially touching story for me, I am so joyful to know there are people with the compassion of Christ visiting our special angels in the nursing homes. God bless you and yours and keep on spreading your abundance of love. |
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I understand this is a difficult place to ministry. Be comforted by my words when I say you are bring forth the Kingdom of God in this ministry & the Lord sees all your tears & compassion. It is good to have loved. It is good to miss a smile. It is also good to be in the Presence of the Lord forever. It is good.
Blessings,
Shannon |
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In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
I know what a joy these seniors can be. Their complete openness and pleasure in simply visiting with someone is such a blessing. Thank you for bravely facing the prospect of having to say goodbye each week. That is the essence of religion.
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27, NLT
Bless your servant heart! |
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Mike--------------I also think you're in the right place ! an additional thought.........
There's a saying, "you don't miss the water till the well runs dry".
May we truly APPRECIATE loved ones while they're still WITH us.
God Bless you Mike. |
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| Deepest thanks again. Each and every comment, such a blessing! (Cheryl, your mom is still on our prayer list!) |
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Deb |
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December 08, 2007 at 3:14pm |
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| Mike, I can so relate to this. I worked with the elderly for 14 years. I lost sooooo many people that I came to care deeply for. You can't do that kind of work and not care. If you do, you aren't in the right job. You have to have love and compassion to give those people. I remember a particularly difficult time where I had several people who often came out to activities (I was the activity director), all died within a few weeks of each other. And by several, I mean several. It was so hard! I was so depressed. It wasn't long after that, my husband got a new job and we had to move, and I know now it was the Lord's way of giving me a break in this kind of work. I did eventually go back to it, but I had to finally quit because I just wasn't able to give of myself anymore. I couldn't keep losing people like that. It was just too much. So, yes, I understand where you are. I guess the one thing you have to hold on to, is that you are a blessing to many in that situation. Without you, their lives would be a little less bright. |
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Ed |
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December 08, 2007 at 7:01pm |
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"I’m beginning to question why God would put someone with a compassionate heart such as mine in a place like this"
Don't question it, bud.If you have brought Ms. Meg and everyone else there half of the joy that you bring all of your other friends, then you are in the right place. I know the Lord blessed me by putting you and your family in our lives, and I am sure he has you and the kids at Sunrise for the very same reason. |
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Joey |
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December 08, 2007 at 7:08pm |
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| God bless you for your gift of love and compassion. It takes special hearts to love, and to preserve those memories. |
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Deb, your 14 years with srs. that speaks volumes of your love for people and for the Lord. In a small way I can really relate.
Ed, I thank God often for bringing you and Julie back into our lives. I can't tell you how much your gracious words mean to me. |
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Gene |
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December 09, 2007 at 8:36pm |
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Mike,
In your chest beats the heart of a man who cannot ignore pain and suffering. That is an inspiration to me (and probably others). Thank you for taking the time to share what it obviously painful but which is also obviously heartfelt and sincere; and, thanks for letting us into your life. I know, at least I am richer because of it. Now I need to get another tissue. . . . .
Peace! |
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Cathy |
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December 10, 2007 at 2:34pm |
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| Joe ( my husband ) loved Meg also. He would come home from the Sunrise services and would tell me how wonderful Meg was. |
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Ragland |
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December 10, 2007 at 8:26pm |
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I hate explaining tears while at my desk. - Mike You made me cry by blogging about Miss Meg. I’m beginning to question why God would put someone with a compassionate heart such as mine in a place like this. Mike God spreads His Good Will only through people like you. People who love others in their weakness. Keep ministering. Do not ever stop!! God teaches me to be sensitive to the needs of others. This is the message I get from God today.
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Ragland |
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December 10, 2007 at 8:27pm |
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| I empathise with all of you for Miss Meg. I am sure she is with our Lord Rejoicing for you Mike. |
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Thank you Ragland, that is a comment I will cherish. I love your heart!
Gene, you are too much. Thank you, you humble me dear sir! |
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| Jack, thanks for sharing your thoughts. That's right, I now recall that you work with the elderly - a kindred spirit you are! You are indeed a caring person, I gather from all I've read from you. Your "patients" are blessed by your care! ~mike |
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Glenn |
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December 12, 2007 at 12:49pm |
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Mike, you have touched a chord in my heart and many others with your servant attitude and heart! Thank you for sharing your experiences in the assisted living home with all of us. God has blessed them with your gift and I'm sure He has blessed you through the love you share. I think the more love we share with others, the more love God places in our hearts to share with others. Sort of a circular thing.
peace |
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Glenn, thanks for the wonderful comment. I am intrigued by your theory of circular love. :-)
I've blogged a few times about what we do at the assisted living center, I just hope people don't get sick of hearing about my experiences there. I also hope no one thinks I am boasting. Serving those folks is intensely spiritual to me, it means a lot!
I had another experience recently that was very spiritual (the Lord motivated me, he communicated with me even as I was in action). I shared communion with a relative's retarded son during church. If I hadn't retrieved the elements he would have been left out. I felt the Lord prompting me to include the boy, perhaps as a way of demonstrating to everyone around, as well as myself, that Jesus' death was sufficient for all people to come to God (in some way). We don't always fully understand how, but that's ok. It isn't for us to decide how God saves. |
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| Mike--just had time to read this one. Why would God put someone like you in a ministry like that? Because you ARE someone like you. Because you do listen, and love, and cherish when so many in our seniors' lives just do the job from the safety of as much clinical distance as they can muster. Be encouraged, bro, and thank you. |
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Mike, this story really touched my heart. You were given an opportunity to make the last years of her life very special, and you did. I love what Henrietta Mears once said, "God buries His workmen, but not His work." God indeed has many more lives for you to touch, as you well know. However, I know that when somone we care so much about passes on, it it not easy. With your heavenly perspective ("We love you Miss Meg, and know that we’ll see you in heaven"), you realize that this absence is but momentary.
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Oh wow...you take the joy and the pain, eh? Well, I am sorry that you have to go through this, but at the same time, your reward is great in heaven (and I think a big part of that reward is seeing many of these old folks in there that you and your family ministered to). King David was a man after God's own heart, and his was soft and supple, and he wept with ease too, so this isn't a bad thing by a long stretch. When I used to pray every single day for a heart like King David's, I found myself weeping over the smallest things, which, if you knew me, you would know that is totally not my character. Never been much of a cryer (in public, anyways). This is a very special and precious blog. It honors, especially, the memory of a Miss Meg. And it shows that you take the time to get to know the ppl you minister to. Praise God! May the Lord continue to use your family! |
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Gene |
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December 13, 2007 at 9:52pm |
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Hey, Mike. I have a confession. I keep avoiding this particular blog of yours. 'Cause every time I come here and read all the wonderful things being said, I start to reduce my supply of kleenex. There's nothing much that can be added to all what's been said before - except "me too."
Peace, brother. |
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Gene, you have a heart bigger than mine, I am thankful for you!
Lara, I'm not sure exactly how to say it, but somehow it feels good to cry for the Miss Megs in my life. I am as sure that Meg is in the Savior's presence now as I am of anything, so missing her means knowing she really is experiencing unspeakable joys that we can only look forward to. Does this make any sense??
Pastor Tim, you too always seem to have the best perspective on things. Knowing Miss Meg was a tremendous opportunity indeed!
Don, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are an encourager bro, and a joy to know. |
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| Mike, it makes perfect sense. :) |
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Mike,
Just read this blog for the first time. (where have I been!?!?) I know that it has been a few weeks now, and in no way do I mean to tear open wounds that are starting to heal. However, I wanted to say that it is awesome what you all are doing with the people at the assisted living center. I remember when I was a kid, I went to a center just like that and had an elderly man...Alfred (I think)...and he had Alziemers. I don't remember much, but it felt so good to go and spend time with him. I remember asking my mom to drive me back a few years later so that I could see him. By the time I returned, he was already passed away from what I understood. I felt bad inside. Like I wanted to be there one more time for him.
Now as a grown up I have been to a few funerals and have seen people I know leave this earth. Some parts of me get tough and I won't cry, but then there is a side of me that can easily break down. I think I cry more for the unsaved ones than the saved ones, because I know where they are going.
With all of that said...I believe that we should take each opportunity that God gives us to share His love with everyone. For we never know when our goodbye will be the final one.
Your Brother In Christ
Jeremy Daniel |
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Procyon |
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December 21, 2007 at 2:40am |
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What a charming and utterly delightful post! I can only say: 'In a callous world, thank God for the blessing of tears!' |
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Welcome (again) to MyChurch procyon, and thank you for the kind words. I'm blessed to know that this post touched you!
Jeremy, no wounds to worry about. We continue to miss Miss Meg (she was a treasure!), but think back on the memories with warmth and great fondness. I'm glad you have had the privilege of loving Alfred, he sounds like he was a dear fellow. God bless you, my friend. ~mike |
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Rosie |
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December 21, 2007 at 11:47am |
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| MIKE WHAT CAN I SAY...GREAT POST.... |
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It is so true how we miss those wonderful people we get to know. This is a beautiful story. As a soldier of God. I say, use the faith He gave you and "lock and load". Get ready for the next "wave." You may not know it now. But God has blessed you greatly. By sending such fine people your way. it would be an auful world if we did not meet people to miss.
Great blog. I don't "star" much. But this deserves a geart big one. Merry, Merry Christmas!!! |
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Thank you golden, it seems you've paid a huge compliment, and I thank you with all my heart! I would echo your awesome comment- "it would be an awful world if we did not meet people to miss."
Rosie, always love hearing from ya, thanks!! |
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