I left a comment on another blog a few days ago stating that I have found myself in a place of what I call “Holy Discontent”. What is Holy discontent? That’s a great question. I wish I had a great answer, but I don’t. Allow me to share a couple of things that are on my mind to try and explain. Please, feel free to chime in and offer your opinions.

Let me start by saying that I realize that a majority of what I am about to say is complaining. That’s not like me. I am an upbeat, positive person, most of the time. I know how the Lord feels in regards to murmuring and complaining. But I think there is a huge difference between complaining to God about the condition of one’s life, than there is to complaining about the condition of the church, that is, the worldly church.

I also want to say to those of you who know me from Victory World; this is not, in any way, directly related to Victory World or their staff.

First and foremost, I am just sick and tired of religion. I am sick and tired of people wearing masks. I have had it with falsehood. I have had it with having to follow some specific set of manmade rules, guidelines, and programs, just to have a place of worship to my Lord.

I am so ready for Christianity to break outside the walls of a building. I see the churches packed full on Sunday but rarely do I even bump into a Christian, at least one that I can tell, during the week. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I am just the outcast. Maybe I have separated myself so far from the world that I no longer fit in. But wait a minute. Isn’t that what we as Christians are supposed to do?  Separate ourselves from the world?

I know, we are in this world but not of this world. That can be a very slippery slope. Yes, I am in this world. But I don’t fit in. In order for me to fit in, there would have to be parts of me that conform. I don’t want to conform. We are commanded to transform, not conform.

Many churches today are conforming. Relativity. We change the message to be relative to the state of the world today. That’s hogwash! Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Grass withers and flowers fade, but the Word of God will stand forever. We are not supposed to alter the message to fit the “today” lifestyle. We are supposed to be altering our lifestyle to fit the message. It sickens me.

There are too many churches preaching a “feel good” message. Where in the Word does it ever say we are to feel good? Rejoice, yes. But rejoice because our sins have been atoned for. Rejoice because Jesus took our place. Rejoice because by his sacrifice we now have peace with God. There is a huge difference between rejoicing and having our egos pumped up.

Many of the messages today are “how do we make our lives better”, “How do we succeed”, “How do we prosper”. I hear messages that start with one verse being quoted, followed by 45 minutes of how to make your life better; man-made messages that really are nothing more than psychological. Everything we need to live Godly lives, is contained in God’s Word. If you are going to preach, preach the Word. All of it!

I have been hearing the Spirit of God speak to me about church for several months now. I am hearing him say that he wants me to break free from organized Christianity. How does one do that? I already feel isolated enough. How can we break outside of the modern day church yet still fellowship with other believers? Yes, this site is great. I love the relationships that I can sense building with some of you. But I miss worshipping with other believers.

The one thing I do like about the modern church is corporate worship. Of course, I am speaking of the music and I know worship is much, much more than just music. But there is something very powerful about a large group of people singing out to the Lord, hands lifted high with thankful hearts. I just don’t like the part where we sing three songs, stop abruptly, hear a 30 minute “make me feel good message”, then just leave like nothing ever happened. Back to our worldly lives we go.
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Today I visited a new church. I really felt like God was calling me to go. It was a medium-sized church, probably 300 or so in attendance. I was welcomed with warmth at the door and was introduced to several people. I though, ok, this is nice. My regular church has approximately 1,500 each service. Then it was time for praise and worship. The songs were great; at least the lyrics were. But the place was dead. It was so flat I could not believe it. Here I am, arms flung high, doing all I can not to shout at the top of my lungs in praise! I really felt like an outcast. These people barely even clapped. I thought, “how can you all stand here in the very presence of our creator and just mumble these incredible love songs to God?” Then after the songs, when the pastor stepped on stage, there was a huge applause, almost like they were praising and worshipping him.

Now, I am confused even more. I thought surely that the Lord had led me there. Maybe I was sent there to bring some enthusiasm. Maybe that’s why I am supposed to go? I really don’t know.

Brothers and sisters, forgive me for complaining. But I really have some things that are bothering me. I need to vent and this seems like the only place I can do so.

Tell me about your church experience. Tell me; how I can serve, fellowship, learn, teach, grow, worship, and obey outside of a church? I’d really like to know.

Thanks, I’m done!

Michael