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| Sex and the married Christian man |
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With the divorce rate at church on the same level as the secular world is we need to find the spiritual ways to fight the good fight of faith and combat the enemy where he tries to get toe-holds in our life before they become strongholds. In order to give you wife the commitment, dedication and respect that she deserves and that you promised her, it will all start in your eyes; the window to your soul. As men we have a natural built in “hunger” that needs to be fed. The initial selections of items to your “menu” are images that you’ve fed your mind with before you have intimate contact with you wife. Although it’s ideal to think that marriage would be an answer to the hunger, there are habits of the eyes that are brought into marriage. If they have not been disciplined correctly, you will have an unstable, double-minded thought life. It also diminishes your prayer life with God. Today’s society that is full of readily available images to shoot lustful images into our heads in an attempt to satisfy the flesh. The mind must be guarded by what comes into the eyes. As you discipline your eyes, your mind will follow, as well as the Holy Spirit helps your efforts; 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.
You may have lied to yourself and said, everybody looks, it doesn’t hurt to look (and throw out the verse when Jesus said you commit adultery by thinking about it), but it is these types of addictions that are used by the enemy to draw you into bad habits and into deeper things no matter what level you serve in church. In a recent study, even 37% of pastors say they struggle with some sort of internet porn. Because women think quite differently from men, most would be shocked to know what temptations we constantly deal with, but with communication, they can be the best teammate, to help win the fight.
Sometimes there are female co-workers or even ex-girlfriends that your “flesh” will try to store images for references. Learn to look away, or say a little prayer for them to keep your mind exercised in faith. Some male friends, even at church, may converse about the “in-between-meal-snacks” on their menu, but mediocrity is a key to an easy attack from our adversary. Compromise is none of your business. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure for adultery, divorce or having a wife feel dirty and inadequate if the problem is really you. There is a lot at stake. Stop the fantasies. Truth is better than fantasy. And when you know the truth, it will make you free (John 8:32). You owe it to yourself, to your wife and children to live well in your own precious garden of Eden. With your efforts, your upgrade to reality over fantasy, will allow this heaven on earth.
As a man, what is your line of defense to prevent ungodly thought sin your mind?
As a spouse, what are ways that you can help your husband? |
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| I just had to give props to a Real Man of God!!! |
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Jean |
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January 08, 2008 at 6:10pm |
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Amen. A wonderful message. |
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Amen!!!!! We must reject wrong thoughts even when we are communicating in groups like this. And we must be careful how we communicate via the Internet and not use any words or phrases which might be considered romantic. Some husbands and wives ban their spouses from doing any Internet communications with members of the opposite sex. I try to be living Proverbs 3:5-6 when using the Internet and even when I am in church. Faithfulness to my spouse is the second highest priority to me even though she is not a 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Ephesians 5 wife yet. |
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Cheryl |
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January 10, 2008 at 11:32am |
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| Praise be to God, here is a true Christian man, a man who has his eyes surrendered to the Lord. This is the kind of example and man we as ladies should be praying for in our spouse or perspective spouse. This includes those we date. Or we should not date carnally or a christian man who professes Christ but does not have the fruit in this area of his life. My 15 year marriage was destroyed due to my husbands pornography addiction. His walk and talk were not the same. Please see my testimony: witchcraft, cutting, gangs, pornography, domestic violence. What this man said in this blog is from God! Amen brother! and thank you... |
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Although your topic is addressed to the married Christian man, allow me to say that it is not only the man who suffers from this addiction, but women as well. Temptations runs deep with both males and females Christians. Very good topic.
Pastor Aminata |
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I appreciate your comments to the Word from the Lord, thanx hans, Jean.
Bill, I'lll be in agreement that your wife is conformed to the image of Christ.
Thanx Cheryl, I remember starring that blog a while ago, great testimony! |
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| Very true Pastor Ken, If some women could put away those fantasy filled romance novels... |
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Cathy |
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January 10, 2008 at 12:06pm |
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| Natural Hunger ? Kinda like chocolate ? |
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Nah, chocalate is only a snack. The hunger is for a full course meal.
:)
Junk food can spoil your appetite and doesn't have the "nutrients" for a healthy body. |
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Good blog !
I know life's a two way street............but........... it would help if we,as christian men did not have to guard our eyes around our sisters in the Lord. I totally expect "worldly" women to dress differently. I am not talking about collars up to chins, or skirts down to the floor. I know we have different opinions of exactly what the Bible means when speaking about modest apparel
Maybe we could re-examine our ideas about the beauty vs sexy . Just a thought.......hope everybody still loves me. |
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Cheryl |
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January 10, 2008 at 12:49pm |
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| I agree with Paul's statement about beauty vs. sexy~some of the women in church dress just as worldly as well the worldly women! What happened to modesty as God says versus fashion. Man and the world system made fashion. AND yes I teach romance novels are pornography for women, they touch our senses, like the pics do for men. YUCK!!! Also, this is a funny, if you get rid of these items because you are convicted, please don't pass them to some one else or sale them in a garage sale!!!! I have seen this too many times and someone will say,"oh yeah, God convicted me and I am cleaning this out of my life". But then accept the 25cents for the sale of the book to another person they should witness to in a different way!!! Love the blog and the truth~the truth will set you free! |
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Cheryl |
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January 10, 2008 at 12:56pm |
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| The Secret Keeper by: Dannah Gresh is a great book about modesty vs fashion for women and daughters. She has a workbook about self-esteem and things you can do with your daughter to teach them about that and make-up and dressing and guidelines in dating. ALL kinds of good stuff!!! (as we say in oklahoma!) LOL ~Just had to add~ thanks |
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| Praise God, what a wonderful message...Many blessings. |
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Great message
Paul and Cheryl are right, a women doesn't need to advertise her flesh in or out of church. If they had a clue on what went on in our heads they would be more careful... |
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Amen.
When you successfully practice these things you will appreciate the love of your life in more detail, as you have trained your appetite for the correct “diet” for your menu.
We can make sure to make a habit to personally toss out any department store ads with bikini or undergarment that come in the mail or even cut out any pictures from car or sports magazines to make sure your house, or any other thing there that can cause you to entertain lewd thoughts of additional women you have no right to lust after. Use this “first line of defense” to not have any tolerance to recruit those images or “idols” to become objects of even the briefest of glance of “worship”. This “house cleaning” is good especially if you have young boys around. Your wife should be more than willing to assist you when she can be your solo “menu” item. |
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| BACK AGAIN................I can't seem to remember a scriptural reference here........but..................in the words of Barney, ''NIP IT'' !! |
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Phillipians 3:8 "Finally, bretheren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise. THINK on these things."
Thank you for an excellent write.
God bless |
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| Thanx for your comments, life is full of choices but there's only one way to walk in peace. |
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Cathy |
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January 25, 2008 at 12:33pm |
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Why is it that the "wandering eye" of men is always blamed on how a woman is dressed? I have seen guys oogle women wearing bulky sweaters, blue jeans, with a jacket on, and a scarf around her neck!!! I think it's more a "wondering mind" then an eye?
Don't get mad, it's just my thought |
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Very true, Cathy, guys that 'oogle' have a mind problem and sometimes, it doesn't take much! We have to control our mind, as well as our eyes...
:) |
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| Super great post and you flat hit the nail on the head! Thanks for posting! Not only did you address the issue but you included tips to help get out of the mindset of flesh. |
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| Have you ever been married? Where do you come up with this level of truth from - books, counseling, friends, etc.? I just like to add however, the root to sexual perversion is what the indiviual has had exposure too growing up, the spirit of homosexuality is supposed to have been transferred into someone, as well as the process of the authority one finds himself under, ie., President Clinton was under Rev. Jessie Jackson who was not faithful and that spirit traveled downward... What makes a person risk it all to have sex outside the marriage covenant?, especially when the other spouse is faithful, respectful, responsible and committed? |
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Yes, I've been married. I've also learned much from life experience, good teaching and Holy Spirit leadership (and sometimes from other peoples mistakes). The statistics come from Leadership Journal 2001. I know where my bad root seeds were, as I believe every spiritual man can trace theirs.
Excellent points Pastor V. You're right, when Clinton committed the sin against a Jewish woman and said he did not have sex, the amount of young teens having oral sex went up dramatically, thinking it was not really sex.
The same kind of addiction power to make a crack addict steal from their family, no matter how they are committed to them, has equivalency with internal sexual stimulating addiction(s) to make them risk their marital covenant. Regardless of how upright and supporting the spouse is, it is a personal problem and must be dealt with through prayer, spousal communication and peer accountability. |
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Cheryl |
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February 20, 2008 at 4:46pm |
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| love this blog and the truth in it. Way to go Victorious!!!! Thanks~ |
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| Yeah, this one's a keeper. I was just thinking today, how can somebody try to serve two masters, when they have a self-pleasing mentality with no regard to others? |
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