I can relate to every one on your list for research. Obviously I never killed myself, but the only thing that stopped me was I believed hell was real, and I may end up there.

I love how you wrote that top paragraph. You have a gift. I love that emotional artsy fartsy stuff. Awesome!  Lord be with you with your research, and give you more and more compassion for those struggling in them. 

Shell I never tried to kill my self literlly, but I was doing it by taking drugs, and I did wish I was dead at times and that's because like you I wanted to be normal and did not know how even though I gave a try a few times. Shells you belong to God now and you have to belive there more to your life than before now your are living for christ and He loves you.GOD’S LOVE IS FORGIVING.We may be able to understand a God who would forgive sinners who come to him for mercy. But a God who tenderly searches for sinners and then joyfully forgives them must possess an extraordinary love! This is the kind of love that prompted Jesus to come to earth to search for lost people and save them. This is the kind of extraordinary love that God has for you. If you feel far from God, don’t despair. He is searching for you.BIBLE READING: Romans 8:28-39KEY BIBLE VERSE: I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

GOD’S LOVE IS BEYOND MEASURE.These words were written to a church that would soon undergo terrible persecution. In just a few years, Paul’s hypothetical situations would turn into painful realities. This passage reaffirms God’s profound love for his people. No matter what happens to us, no matter where we are, we can never be lost to his love. Suffering should not drive us away from God; it should help us to identify with him further and allow his love to reach us and heal us.

OUR BODY IS TO BE A LIVING SACRIFICE.When sacrificing an animal according to God’s law, a priest would kill the animal, cut it in pieces, and place it on the altar. Sacrifice was important, but even in the Old Testament God made it clear that obedience from the heart was much more important (see 1 Samuel 15:22; Psalm 40:6; Amos 5:21-24). God wants us to offer ourselves, not animals, as living sacrifices-daily laying aside our own desires to follow him, putting all our energy and resources at his disposal and trusting him to guide us. We do this out of gratitude that our sins have been forgiven.BIBLE READING: 1 Corinthians 6:15-20KEY BIBLE VERSE: Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

GOD’S SPIRIT LIVES IN THE BODIES OF CHRISTIANS.What did Paul mean when he said that our body belongs to God? Many people say they have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies. Although they think that this is freedom, they are really enslaved to their own desires. When we become Christians, the Holy Spirit fills us and lives within us. Therefore, we no longer own our body. “Bought with a high price” refers to slaves purchased at auction. Christ’s death freed us from sin but also obligates us to his service. If you live in a building owned by someone else, you try not to violate the building rules. Because your body belongs to God, you must not violate his standards for living.