This is to everyone whose relationship has recently ended.  I want to apologize before you start reading this because I’m sure what I have to say might upset some of you.  I’m not on anyone’s side…  I’m just stating my thoughts as to how I look at broken relationships.  I’ve had about five people come to me in the past three days seeking advice or comfort and I find it almost frustrating how they view the end of their relationship.  Again, I want to say “I’m sorry” to those of you who know who I’m talking to, but I just felt like I had to share this…

To those who had their heart broken:

Don’t be bitter towards the other person.  It might make you feel better at the moment to call them names, to talk bad about them to your friends, or to go and destroy everything they gave you…  But do you really want to end a relationship like that?  Do you really want to end a friendship with hate?  They didn’t feel the same way about you…  They did what they had to do…  Think about it this way…  Say you’ve been dating someone for 2 months, and you REALLY start to like them.  You start to think that things are getting serious and then WHAM they break up with you after 6 months.  They tell you that they don’t love you and they knew it they just didn’t know how to tell you until it was too much for them…  You got your hopes up because you were together for so long.  The sooner they tell you the better.  Plus, wouldn’t you want them to tell you the truth?  If they don’t love you wouldn’t you want to know so that you can go find that person God wants you to be with?  You wouldn’t want to be standing at the alter and have them tell you that they don’t want to spend the rest of their life with you do you?  And I know it will be hard to get over someone… (Trust me… I was hung up on a guy for 6 years) but eventually you will understand that it wasn’t meant to be.  There is a greater love out there for you…  Not someone who just cares about you, but who loves you with their whole heart.

To those to did the breaking up:

I know it was hard to break the heart of the person you were with, but you did the right thing.  They might hate you for a while, but please understand that’s because they love you.  You realized that you didn’t feel the same way, and you handled the situation the best way you could.  If you don’t love someone why hold on to them?  Giving them false hope.  It takes a lot of strength to tell someone you don’t want to see them anymore.  I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I’m proud of you that you told them how you really feel even though you knew it would hurt.

To everyone who is now single:

Please try not to regret your last relationship.  It wasn’t a lie…  It wasn’t a joke…  You both tried but it just wasn’t right.

Think before you get into another relationship.  How do you really feel about this person?  Do you really think you could spend the rest of your life with them?  How do they really feel about you?  Are you ready to be in a relationship?

Don’t point fingers and bitter towards each other.  I understand at first you will be angry, but harboring that anger helps no one.  Don’t seek revenge.  Don’t bad mouth the other person, or say that you were right.  If you’re confused or need to say something to the person, just talk to them about it.

I want you to remember that it wasn’t you. 

Girls, I know one of the first thoughts that pops into your head if your boyfriend breaks up with you is that he doesn’t think you are pretty, or that he likes someone else.  THAT IS NOT TRUE!  You are beautiful!  And if that is his reason, he doesn’t deserve you anyway!

Guys, it’s not because of your appearance either.  You are all wonderful.  I know there is a woman out there who will love you for who you are.

Lastly, I have to say, please don’t go crawling back to your ex.  Don’t try to change yourself so that they will take you back.  If you do then the relationship is a fake.  You two will never be happy if you can’t be yourselves with each other.  Forcing a relationship to work will just cause more pain.

I might be stepping on some toes here, but this is just how I feel at this point.  I love you all so much, and I’m sorry that your relationships didn’t work out, but there is a reason for that.  You are still young.  Trust in God and I know He will find you that perfect person who will never break your heart.