"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Nathaniel Branden writes:

"If communication is to be successful, if love is to be successful, if relationships are to be successful, we must give up the absurd notion that there is something "heroic" or "strong" about lying, about faking what we feel, about misrepresenting, by commission or omission, the reality of our experience or the truth of our being. We must learn that if heroism and strength mean anything, it is the willingness to face reality, to face truth, to respect facts, to accept that that which is, is."


When I think about honest communication and what the bible teaches me, many parts of scripture come to mind. The first 2 are my buddies, Moses and Paul. Moses and his consistent arguing with God is always a source of comfort for me. Moses argued with God! He was honest with God about his fears, insecurities, and even his doubts. He trusted God to hear him. Paul on the other hand.. Paul had to stand in front of those he had once persecuted and tell them, 'I'm a new person. Umm.. sorry for being ignorant, now I know better.' Talk about faith. It's difficult for me to say, 'oopps, sorry I forgot to call you back'... I can't imagine.. 'oh, sorry about that persecution of your people thing... '

Not only do both Paul and Moses get to the heart of being truthful, but they also represent in my mind the ability to learn a new way. Yes Moses grumbled and argued and Paul.. well Paul was struck blind... I would have to think those are the extremes. For God has surely given me the opportunities to shift without such spectacular promptings. (Thank God and amen)

 Now if we venture to Acts 5:1-11 we read of Ananias and his wife Sapphira whose dishonesty actually caused their immediate deaths. 

Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit... " and "You have not lied to men but to God."

Now all of us having been children and teenagers understand the nuanced differences of being dishonest and lying. And as adults we know it's simply a matter of semantics because, in our hearts and in our relationship with God, we know there is no difference. 

There are whole lists of logical fallacies used in communication to prevent us from being honest. Many of us have learned from an early age not to be honest about our feelings, not to express ourselves honestly. To hold back our opinions, to help maintain the 'everything is O.K' illusion so as not to draw attention to ourselves, make others feel uncomfortable, or perhaps to protect ourselves from further damage by being open and vulnerable. 

No matter how many times I look at the lists of defense mechanisms, communication barriers that I review periodically for my work.. I am always a bit dismayed at my own use of these. Although I've learned to recognize them well in others... turning that mirror around is always a bit shocking :) And I add, that I understand why and how the children I work with have learned to protect themselves with these behaviors... I'm still thrown off by adults who don't even pretend to be aware let alone start to shift away from these less than honest means.

It makes me wonder how hard it is to be honest with ourselves. It makes me wonder again and again about the culture we've allowed ...even in our faith communities. It makes me more fatihful knowing that God is leading and prompting each of us to newness. It makes me love people even more knowing that acceptance is such a huge need.

.... it makes me want to pray more.