So, my life has gone in an intersting direction.

I never thought I would have to deal with this.

But I am finding that I am grateful (strangely) for the opportunity to show Christ's love.

I have to say this. I have been praying for several agonizing days about a situation that is very difficult for me to manage. But to explain the situation, you must delve deep into my past. So here goes nothing.

In the small town of Ocala, FL, two small baby girls were born on July 20, 1987. Arlii and Shan (nicknames used to protect identities) grew as normal children do, except for two small factors. Factor One: Arlii and Shan were identical twins, mirror images of one another. Factor Two: Arlii and Shan's parents wanted to divorce since the twins were merely one month old.

The girls grew up under the tension of fighting parents, sometimes oblivious to it, other times so keyed into the tension they created world to escape from the noise.

But, dear reader, do not think that these dear little children suffered throughout this childhood. No, far from it. These little girls grew and flourished as all children do. Arlii and Shan loved their parents, and their parents loved them. The parents of the twins never willingly let any malice or hatred reach the ears of the children.

These children grew to be God-fearing young children. Maybe the children were not raised in church as a steady practice, but Arlii and Shan were taught that God loved them.

As Arlii and Shan grew, they were best friends and worst enemies, sharing friends, lives and birthday parties. Schooling never bored the girls, but neither did it challenge them. Average students with seemingly average lives. Everything was normal.

As Arlii entered fifth grade, she met her best friends, Echo and Kid (nickname). Kid, Arlii, and Echo were inseparable but Kid and Arlii were especially close, almost as brother and sister. Soon the children began spending time together, and the parents began to visit more and more often. Arlii’s father and Kid’s mother began to have a close friendship as well.

And, dear reader, I am sure you have figured out the next twist in this everyday plot. Arlii’s father and Kid’s mother began seeing one another. This straw was the last for the marriage of Arlii and Shan’s parents.

Now, we will follow Arlii, for Shan is writing her own story…

To keep the issues short, Arlii grew up quickly after that. God placed Arlii in a good church where she grew. Then He moved her to a church that helped her grow even more. She grew into and out of the “I hate my mother” phase. She eventually saw the sin for what it was. She graduated high school and began attending a wonderful Christian college. She grew rapidly under the constant preaching of the Word, and loved it.

As all college students do, Arlii felt the pinch of tuition biting her, so she signed on to work over the summer break at school, providing a way to earn money without paying expenses. During her one week break home, she was introduced to a young man, via the internet, who quickly became a friend. His clear testimony was helpful to Arlii, who needed a good Christian “guy friend”.

The young man, Bud, was a good influence on Arlii, encouraging her to delve even deeper in the Scripture and follow God closer. After knowing and speaking with Bud for several months, she realized that her feeling for him were not merely platonic in nature. Arlii, being content with her state of being single, was happy just to let the feelings be. She knew for one: Bud had a girlfriend that he was very serious about, and two: Arlii did not want to lose his friendship over some silly infatuation.

Well, as time passed, Arlii lost contact with Bud. This made her sad, so she did not give up on him. She still sent him humorous emails, called him to say hello, and prayed for him.

The next summer, Arlii was spending sometime on the internet when she attempted to contact him again. This time bud responded and replied with fervor that he wanted to speak with her again. So began the friendship again that Arlii dearly cherished.

One day, as Arlii was telling a humorous story about a young man flirting with her in a book store, Bud seemed to hesitate awkwardly then falter, passing over what he was going to say. Later that evening, as Arlii was getting ready to go to church, she received a text message from Bud. This is what it said:

Of course, this threw Arlii for a loop. She did not expect to have Bud reciprocate her feelings, other than on a platonic level. Arlii was at a loss. She had never had a boyfriend, not in all of her 20 years. She prayed that her future husband would be the only one she ever dated, ever loved, ever kissed. How did Bud fit into all of this.

Arlii prayed and had peace in the matter. She, later that night, explained what she prayed about and what that would mean from him. That she was going into this relationship under the expectation that she would one day marry Bud. Bud agreed with her beliefs.

Bud did not live a perfect life. He had a past. Arlii forgave him that past, saying that God accepted him as he was, so she should as well.

The relationship progressed from there, though a bit unorthodoxly. The two were courting over a distance. Never having met, Arlii was guarding her heart. She did decide to love Bud from the start, but she also focused on her first love, God. Focusing on God rather than man is the best heart insurance a lady can have.

One day, a mutual friend of Arlii and Bud’s contacted Arlii and told her something shocking. Bud had not been faithful, and he had approached Arlii’s friend. Arlii’s friend had considered the offer, even thought seriously about accepting. Arlii’s friend had decided not to hurt Arlii and thought the best thing was to contact Arlii with the news.

Arlii was devastated. Her prayers, it seemed, had been mocked by the God she loved so. And yet, she knew that was not the case. Arlii forgave her friend. “And be ye kind, one to another, forgiving one another as God for Christ’s sake had forgiven you.” She felt that even if her heart were broken, she should still show the forgiveness of God through her life. She even forgave Bud before she even spoke with him.

Arlii knew that she should pray about it. She prayed desperately that God would heal her bleeding heart. God reminded her of the way that Nathan used to confront David. So that is what Arlii did.

She confronted Bud. Bud confessed. She knew her heart was breaking all over again. Bud began to weep. Arlii simply told him to take a week to pray and find where he left God. He was not to contact her in anyway. Arlii was going to pray as well.

Arlii said this: As important as your relationship to God is to you, pray that hard. Then, after that, and only after you have dealt with the most important part, you can pray about us.”

Arlii spent three long days in turmoil over the thought of ending the relationship. She could not get peace. Finally, after giving her heart and fear to God, she knew. She was going to give him another chance.

If Bud is reading this, please just spend more time in prayer.