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| Real life, real issues, real pain |
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I just received an email from someone on my MyChurch friends list. I took the initiative to email this person out of the blue because I hadn't heard from them in a while. I suppose it's possible the Spirit led me to contact them. Well, it turns out they aren’t doing so great. In fact, life is a real struggle for this person right now. This has left me frustrated and saddened, because there doesn't appear to be anything I can actually do to help. Their problems in life are huge, and I am very small, with a very limited reach. This breaks my heart.
I'm tired of saying I'll pray. Not to discount the power of prayer, I just yearn to do more. It’s so easy to say “I'll pray for you”. It's somewhat more difficult to actually follow through with prayer, but nearly impossible to actually do anything substantive it seems. At least for me.
I am rudely reminded that behind every cute little profile picture on MyChurch (or any online social network) is a real person who has real issues and experiences real pain. For many, real life is real tough! This is not a game!!
MyChurch.org is definitely not the problem. The site has actually been a tremendous blessing to me and others, because it brings people together where many would be isolated. And in fact, a few opportunities have come along where MyChurch has facilitated material help for people’s real life problems.
But those opportunities are relatively small in number. It appears I simply need to accept the limitations of online social networks, as well as the role God has given me in this particular community. Each person I’ve befriended is a precious individual, dear to God, and dear to me as well. My thoughts and prayers are with them (you) often. Sometimes I just wish I could offer more.
Lord, I lift up those who I know are struggling with life. I want to do something for them, yet at this time you have me in a position to do nothing more than pray. I don’t like this, Lord!! But what else can I do? Therefore I will ask You to provide the material help that I cannot. I trust You Lord. It seems that's all I can do. Or is it??? |
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| Oh Mike, I totally get where you are coming from! How bad I would love to just jump on a plane and go to some of the ppl I have met here that needed a person to listen. It bugs me when, like you say, all I can do is pray. So I totally get you. But definately don't discount how it can mean something on here too. I have been tremendously blessed and encouraged on here by ppl. I know you are not saying that, I guess what I mean is that it can really get you through some hard times on here. Just to have someone encourage you and be a friend means a lot. But I know what ya mean, and it sucks. |
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Cheryl |
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January 29, 2008 at 2:31pm |
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Mike~As you know my friend, we serve a BIG GOD! If we always were dependant on people, would we really turn to HIM? A prayer is the BEST thing to do for someone. WOW, to talk to the Father about this or that for this person, what a gift! Yes, to be the hands and feet of Jesus is great~sometimes He has us simply as the voice!
This is an excellent reminder for us to reach out to others. When I posted a blog last week about being sick, I received 5 e-mails about prayer and getting well (which I am more than grateful for!!);however, I had 386 readers, no one else thought it was important to send anything, no wonder non-christians are not turning to Jesus~would you? Thank you for your heart and your prayer for this person~I will be praying too! |
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| Mike you said it all so beautifully and I stand in agreement with you. |
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You know Mike your willingness and readiness to help, is a reminder of how we should be. While that person may not be close to you they might be close to me. Do I look? no. Should I look? Definately!
Over the years it seems in my story personally, that reaching out and being ready and willing, only involved heartbreak. It's selfish I know, but a wounded heart is real. And yet "forgive someone seventy times seven." something to ponder |
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Denise |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:12pm |
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| I wish I could do more as well. Thanks Mike for sharing |
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Real life can be difficult...and often is!! Thanks for your insight on so many issues.
DeboraJ...I so understand where you are coming from.
Sometimes the people who can harm the most are the ones who are supposed to forgive 70 x 7! You just never know where people are and what is going on in their lives. I am trying so hard to see every situation through the Lord's eyes! It IS frustrating being human!
Thanks, Mike!!
Cathy. |
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Cheryl (w/the Chuck E Cheez photo), GREAT points regarding prayer! Great example too of how someone's prayers from thousands of miles away improved your very real life, in a real way! As I said, I didn't mean to discount the power of prayer above. But I just want to do more sometimes. I mean, really!
Speaking of prayer, I wrote but then removed a paragraph about praying with empathy from the blog. It helps to acknowledge people's real struggles when we pray with empathy, actually putting ourselves into their shoes mentally and emotionally. This way we can share in the pain they're going through. This takes time and discipline though, plus many people just don't have the time to pray this way when their prayer list has 30 or more people on it! |
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Jen |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:26pm |
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I don't think it's happenstance that a community of believers, (MyChurch) has come together in such a way that practically all they can do for their hurting brothers and sisters in Christ on this site is to lift them in prayer. I think this is just how God wants it to be, because He knows the power of prayer far outstrips the feeble efforts of man, no matter how heartfelt or well-intentioned. He also knows that man's inclination is to "do", instead of waiting on Him. (Well, He knows Jen is inclined this way, at any rate!) As the world gets crazier, I think we are going to come across more and more situations in life where our only option is prayer, because those situations will be beyond our capabilities to fix or mend. So I see our "limited" options to "help" here on MyChurch as God's way of training His people by getting them to turn to prayer first and foremost in all circumstances, instead of defaulting to the "what can I do" mindset, which I know is my tendency. If we truly believe in the power of prayer, and if we're really praying for people when we've said we will, then we get to build up our own faith and that of our brothers and sisters by seeing how God answers those prayers, with no other "help" from us. :-) |
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Cathy, you and Debora seem to be saying that when we reach out to help, we make ourselves vulnerable, depending on how far we reach out. This is true! (if I'm understanding you) We ourselves can be hurt. Sometimes it's really worth the risk though. And if the Lord leads us to help.... I don't know, I guess knowing that I'm serving His higher purposes is comforting even in the risk. |
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| Jen, great insight on man's inclination is to "do". There you go, from my blog you see it's harder to sit back and "let God". Ahhhhhh I don't like it!! (But that's mike's natural inclination, not the Holy Spirit!) Ok, this is tough but I'll try to go along, Jen! |
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Jen |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:33pm |
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Okay, Mike, so after posting my other comment and now re-reading it, it sounds kinda preachy to me, which wasn't my intent. I know what your heart is in your blog, cuz I feel the same way. But I just wanted to encourage people to really grasp that we our doing our very best, giving our very best, when we pray for them, and that if it's the best, then it's enough. Feel free to delete the previous comment, bro. |
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Lara, thanks for sharing my pain! I hear ya too on not discounting the encouragement people find on this site. I guess I'm yearning to see how the encouragement is translating into real help, lives really changed for the better.
Cheryl (pictured w/husband) and Denise (also pictured w/husband) -- thank you!! |
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Cheryl |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:38pm |
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I love Jen's point: He also knows that man's inclination is to "do", instead of waiting on Him.
That was what I was trying to get across with If we are dependant on ppl, would we really turn to Him. Yes, I understand and also have a long prayer list and run a prayer warrior site for Equine Therapy Center in Guthrie, Ok. For me and maybe others when your sick or some one is injured or a trauma has happened, I want to hear from others and know that someone has stopped in their busy day and even shot up a 'popcorn' prayer to God on my behalf. Make sense? |
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Mike, Mike , Mike,
Why you gotta, make me cry?LOL.
No I agree with every word written and I think that a lot of us want to do more, Earlier today I saw your memo that said reach out to some one! and I new just what you were feeling.People are hurting behind the screen, and we all should do as much as we can to help while we are forwarded the opportunity. |
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| Jen, I honestly didn't feel preached to...but thanks for having your "feelers" out, your second post was very considerate. I think you make great points about prayer.....it is powerful!! Maybe I'm not struggling with prayer as much as my implementation of it. But still, I wanna do! I think you made a great point about man's inclination. |
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Keith, you are a beautiful man! I'm sure you of all people knew where I was coming from. Thanks for your great heart my friend!
I hear ya Cheryl -- your original point was very well taken. I thank God that he made prayer warriors such as yourself available to us on this site. |
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Cheryl |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:44pm |
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| Ahhhhh....Love you guys! |
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I totally agree that it is worth the risk. If you take what The Lord said literally...if someone asks us for anything, we are to give it to them. Too often, we pick apart the request. Some people that I know say that they would never give to a homeless person. That is so wrong!! Hey, if you do not want to give them money...buy them some food!! How can we as believers see someone on the street and not try to help. I tried to get a man a plane ticket from several of the local churches in a town where I used to live. EVERYONE had a reason why they could not help me get this man home! It was a time where we were struggling to the point of barely affording groceries. It was extremely frustrating and sad to me! Sure, we are to use discernment...but when we see someone obviously in need and suffering...we should do whatever we can.
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| Healing is real. Thank you so much, Arlene. That is very encouraging! |
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| Cathy, that is the kind of heart I am talking about. Make it happen! Get real help to people!! |
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Robin |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:57pm |
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Mike, I was thinking about this very topic this pm in the car. I was struggling with another person's life struggles and my inability to "fix" the problem. I, too, want to do instead of wait. Patience has not been one of my virtues. Any how I have committed to prayer and support with words of encouragement. Thanks for the food for thought. ~Robin |
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Joey |
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January 29, 2008 at 3:58pm |
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| Sometimes, it takes just a few words from a friend. sigh... |
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Robin, it's funny how God reaches into multiple minds/hearts at the same time. Imagine if he did that with the entire church all at once!
Joey - you are so doggone encouraging! Like Arlene said...on here it might be more about connecting.
Marcella, I'm so thankful that God occasionally uses the words originating from this keyboard to touch others for his purposes. That's pretty amazing, isn't it? God bless you, sister. |
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| I just saw LorenDP's memo. Wow, love your heart Loren! Could you be the guy who starts a new ministry in response to the thoughts expressed here? Crazier things have been known to happen! |
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Howdy Mike, I so relate to what you are saying. I want to help in every way I can, but so often the only way I can is prayer and a friendly ear. I wanted to comment on one thing you said: It’s so easy to say “I'll pray for you”. It's somewhat more difficult to actually follow through with prayer, That's why I put my prayers for people on their blogs or in emails. I'd forget otherwise, and I don't want to mislead anyone. |
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Mike - I think the majority of us here have felt the same way you have. You are so right (REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL PROBLEMS) that somehow make mine seem so insignificant.
There have been a number of people I just want to reach out and touch, hug, comfort, provide whatever material need they may want, yet I cannot. So like you I pray. I pray until I have run out of words. But that's just it, we keep praying and we keep sending our petitions to our FATHER. He hears and sees the needs and will (in his time) make provisions. I believe that with all my heart. He makes the provisions or do WHAT HE DEEMS as necessary to comfort, heal, provide for that family or person.
We as humans cannot save the world. I have heard this for so long from so many people, but we can use the tools our FATHER has provided to us for HIM to save the world.
Love ya Mike and your HEART... |
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Gene |
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January 29, 2008 at 5:51pm |
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Amen, Mike. Amen.
You gotta big heart, fella! |
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Thanks Gene, yours is pretty darn big too my friend.
Mary - I sense you are a prayer warrior, like our friend Cheryl (Chuck E Cheez) above. I pray too, but I am not worthy of that title...yet. I guess that's where our faith comes in. We ask, he provides. That's how it works, as opposed to we ask we provide. Still, it looks like I'm gonna be doing battle with this natural inclination to do for a long time to come. |
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| Hey Jess, thank you for relating, I'm so glad I'm not alone! I like your practice of putting the prayer right in the blog. Doesn't work quite as well for me, but I appreciate reading what others prayed sometimes, helps give words to my own prayers. God bless you, bro! |
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Amy |
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January 29, 2008 at 6:27pm |
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| I also agree Mike. A few weeks ago when i was working in the Junior Church, we were teaching the children the importance of prayer. My friend who was actually leading the class told us that every year she saves all of her Christmas cards that she recieves over the holidays. When the holidays are over, she puts them all in a basket and thru-out the new year, she pulls one card out each day, and prays for that person or family. Then she puts the card back in. It gave me the idea, that maybe each day we could just pick someone from our list friends to pray for. Im glad you brought this up, because this is something iam going to try to do. God bless you and yours. Amy |
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| I must say, Amy, that's a wonderful idea! Each day cover someone else in prayer - I love it! I Like the Christmas card idea too, never would have thought of that. Great way to keep all those beautiful cards around longer too! Thanks for the post!!! |
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Mike - I am not worthy of the title either, however, when I cannot be physically present to help, then I pray. I ask my Father to be there to do what needs to be done. I gear every word you are saying and believe me I feel the same way you do, but it is with and through prayer that we still touch people. Maybe it is not on the physical plane but that is where the GLORY of the Lord comes through to the saved and unsaved. Are we feeling and doing for our glory or HIS??? Are the feelings of not being able to do coming because (yes, we are human and we feel, really feel) or because as children of the ALMIGHTY we want his Glory to be shown to the world??? Do I make sense to you?
Are we back to the question. Why does he let things like this happen??? GOD does not let these things happen.
I have asked the question of GOD, |
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"If I prayed like JESUS and sweated blood, would you answer my prayers"? He does answer Maike and the greatest gifts we can give is PRAYER TO OUR FATHER ON OTHERS BEHALF and LOVE TO EACH OTHER. We can give material things when we can but whatever we give, give it from the heart... YOU GIVE A LOT..
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| Mary, I think I got it.... we ask, he provides. All for his glory, not ours. I do follow you, I'm just saying it's so hard. That's just my heart talking. God bless you Mary, you lift my spirits! |
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It is hard but it is not for always... In this life we will run across many sorrows and much pain but as long as we at least try to do what God wants us to do, keep him number one in our lives, truly love one another, come together as a family (His family) the reward at the end will be worth it. If I could take all of the sorrow and pain, I would. He knows our hearts, he hears our pleas and he ANSWERS.
Love you |
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Mike, I always enjoy your blogs...very thought provoking. I think we all face hell on earth in life...and I think sometimes we sell short the notion of prayer. Sure we wish we could do more...but most of the time there is nothing more that can be done or should be. Many times people say things they shouldn't b/c they feel they wish they could do more. From my perspective, if you are really praying, and not just saying it as a reflex, there probably is nothing more powerful that you can do.
I am dissappointed at the crisis of the lack of prayer that goes on today during fellowship. I try teach everyone within my echelon of influence that prayer is the key. If someone is sick, pray....if they have a need and they voice it, pray...right there. I have been dealing with the flu turn pnuemonia and some guy at the church did the weirdest thing. We were talking and he just grabbed my hand and began to pray for healing and he meant it. I was so suprised by his action (b/c I have always been the one to initiate and everybody has always regarded me as crazy and now here is this dude) that I had to catch myself and remind myself he was being obedient. Crazy thing is, I really belive in prayer and that when we ask, He listens and we are to believe.
Well I woke up the next morning and for the first time in a week, I could breath...I was healed!!! And my condition has improved every day since. |
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Gene |
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January 29, 2008 at 10:32pm |
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Building a relationship with someone, or with God, is about spending time with them and for them. We're all busy. So when a person is faced with the reality that another person has stopped all of the important things going on and just prayed specifically for them.....that's very powerful. That's very encouraging. And it nurtures us and fills us as well.
Sometimes it's very hard to take an hour from our day and pray for just one person. Taking an hour to pray for 20 people by name can be tough, too. But when we really focus, in whatever time we make, not only do we benefit from becoming closer to God, but those for whom we pray derive some benefit as well.
Mike, maybe this is where the "keep up the good fight" comes in. Go ahead. Take the time to pray. Yes, it may be getting old, but just look for another way to become aware of the Presence of God in you and around you. Just focus on that. The real prayer for others comes out of that.
And if for some reason it doesn't, you've tried to honor God with the sacrafice of your time, and that pleases God...and so God sees the intent of your prayer and hears what you really wanted to deeply say to Him.
Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid.
The Other Gene |
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Rosie |
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January 30, 2008 at 1:55am |
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| Mike you have the heart of the Father for His children....I know you feel like prayer is the lease you can do But you are praying and that moves mountains......You give of your time that is the most valueable asset this earth has.....So don't feel like you are not doing enough because you are doing just what God has called you to....I am so honored to call you friend....Rosie |
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Mary, thanks from the bottom of my heart for bearing with me! Rosie, you lift my spirits too, thanks for setting such a great example of faith in prayer. The Lord spoke to me last night in our family devotion. We read a story about a family whose mother cat and kittens wandered off, the children prayed while their mom fretted. The mom didn't have the heart to tell the children the cats were likely picked up and destroyed by animal control, but then she never had to, b/c 2 yrs later they discovered that someone who lived nearby took the cats in and found good homes for all of them. The kids knew all along, it was the mom who learned the lesson! (true story!)
Patrick, wise words as always my friend. I would have offered to drive you to a doctor instead! lol Yes, there is a time for prayer, and there is also a time for us to be God's hands and feet. I'm still learned to distinguish between them. I'm thrilled to hear you are feeling better!!
Other Gene - wow, I'll take some time to let your comment soak in. You make a great point, it is hard to spend a solid hour straight out of the day to pray for people - this is sacrifice! Especially in light of how busy life often is. And if people don't appreciate how great a sacrifice that is, I'm sure God does. Right? Thanks for your comments on the importance of prayer! |
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Eliza |
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January 30, 2008 at 5:44am |
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| Hey Mike...don't be hard on yourself...MyChurch has been a big blessing in my life....and when someone tells me they are praying for me, just knowing that someone else out there is praying for me is a great spirit lifter....whether they go through with it or not, I don't know...but for that moment, I know someone is rooting for me....Yes, I am sure we all wish we could do more...and one day we might...so let's keep praying about it... : ) By the way....great post.... |
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Yes the balance is necessary. The Bible also teaches us not to see the hungry and say "be well fed" but to do something. But true prayer will always lead to Godly action. Many people do things they shouldn't b/c they feel the obligation to do so...but that is not always what God wants. If a person is struggling financially b/c they have been unfaithful with their financial stewardship and God is disciplining them, we do no good by assisting them financially...which is the tendency b/c we often feel that if we have we should give.
But time in prayer for the situation will usually spell out what should be done. I had a staff member that once came to me in need of finances...insurance bills specifically. His ned was about $500. We had it, I thought I should give it...but Ialso felt I should step back and pray and see. After close investigation, it was revealed to me that he had no issue spending money needed for bills on entertaiment...in fact, he purposely wrote false checks habitually. I had the church's ok to give him the money for the insurance but there was no way I was going to addto his delinquency...and it was God who dealt with me NOT to give. That was a first for me and a very interesting lesson.
But still, I say when in doubt, help out. But prayer is the issue that really brings the change. Good luck in finding your balance, I will let you know when I have found mine haha. |
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"Give me one hundred preachers who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God, and I care not whether they be clergymen or laymen, they alone will shake the gates of Hell and set up the kingdom of Heaven upon Earth." -----John Wesley I haven't read all the comments and probably someone has already said this but I wanted to say it anyway. This deep longing and desire you have, God will answer. When God sees heart like this, one so close to His, He will make a way. It will probably blow you away what God will do with you. Thank you for your heart. In a generation where the church is fighting self-centeredness, complacency and apathy, it is good to be reminded that there are many others who desire to see God move and heal the brokenhearted. Remember this verse: For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. II Chronicles 16:9a God is searching for men who are biblical strong, in love with Him, and have a heart for His children. Look out...here it comes... |
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| Forgot the star!!! ooops! |
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| Mike, I feel your heart man. A man after God's own !! Great blog with so many great comments !! PRAYER IS HUGE !! HEARTFELT PRAYER TO OUR GOD AND FATHER IN JESUS' NAME ! HUGE !! Sometimes we add a hug ....a smile, ......a timely word, ......some moola,......some tires .........all these things can be huge........the list is endless !! To pray, the Spirit's leading. What else, continue in His leadings. Many times, His leading is to pray, then do. Sometimes, it is, pray, and that's enough (for now, at least). God Bless You..... |
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Paul - thanks, it seems you are a man after my own heart!
Francine - sensational input, you foster even greater confidence in the importance of prayer and God's use of it to effect real change in real lives! Thanks for the comment!
Pat, thanks! That's a great example! As has been pointed out a couple times, our tendency is to act w/o sufficiently praying beforehand. I love to pray, but combined w/action. I want to be the arms and legs of God but my arms/legs are so short!! SO maybe God has in mind the need to discipline myself in prayer. Yes, it is a discipline!!!
Eliza, great heartfelt encouragement, thanks so much for chipping in! And coloring my blog green! |
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Glenn |
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January 30, 2008 at 10:13am |
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Mike, once again you stir the heart to action in response to your blog. As Jen said "He also knows that man's inclination is to "do", instead of waiting on Him." This is me in a nutshell. I am always trying to fix things, in myself, and those around me, when God is the only one who has the power to change lives.
So, praying is usually strike that, always the best action. That does not mean we should not look for ways to follow up the prayer with actions, but we should always start with prayer. I agree with Gene it can be difficult to find that time to pray but when we do make the time God meets us in a real way.
Thanks again Mike for another thought provoking blog.
peace |
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Deb |
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January 30, 2008 at 11:47am |
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| Mike I can totally relate to this right now. I have a dear sister in Christ who goes to my church and is hurting badly right now. I cannot ease her struggle, because this is something she and her husband have to go through in their marriage, based on choices they made, but I still feel so helpless that I can do nothing but pray...Sure I can send an encouraging word, or a card, give her a hug, but I can't ease her pain. It is something that she has to go through. God has a reason for it, and He will use it to her good, but still it is so hard to do nothing...but we have to realize that we are human, and we are limited in what we can do to help people. Prayer is an amazing and powerful thing, and I think God puts us in these positions so that all we can do sometimes is pray, and rely on Him. Great blog Mike, and I would give you a hundred stars if I could :) |
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Deb, thanks. This may be what I needed to hear most, someone who knows how I feel. I may be in error to think that prayer is less effective than action, it's just how I feel. And who knows, maybe by writing this, I've somehow spurred someone on to ... good deeds! Prayer is great, but in many cases action is needed too, by someone. If I can, why not me.
Glenn - excellent to hear that your heart is stirred! That is God doing that my friend, not I. And again, I see that you and I are very much alike! |
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