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| Being Fearfully Courageous |
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On February 9, 2008, my 74 year old grandmother died due to complications of a stroke she had a couple of years ago. She had been residing in a nursing home for the past couple of years and slowly, she had decompensated to the point where an uncurable bout of pnemonia finally took her home. Fortunately, I was prepared for her death and I promptly got on a plane, with my mother and sister in tow, in the snow and ice, to attend her funeral in Texas. This event was difficult but not for the reason you may expect. My parents have been going through a rather ugly divorce and my mother attended the funeral. It would be the first time in nearly three years that we would all be in one place at one time. I wondered, what is going to happen here? Would they sit together? Would they come together for one day purposefully or disengage themselves even more? Some part of me needed my family to be together, even if only for an hour. Even if it wasn't really real. And so they did, trying to comfort one another in their grief and concurrently grieving the presence of one another in that very small funeral home.
Dear friends, one thing I knew for sure.... The Lord was in that place
I felt Him telling me to do something, something courageous
I sat there saying, "No, Lord, No!!"
After delivering a tearful tribute to my grandmother, my father offered the podium to anyone who wished to say something
I'm convinced that the Lord pushed me from behind and led me up to the podium
Lord, what am I going to do? What am I going to say? I really don't want to do this, Lord!!
And, then my fingers found their way to Psalm 139
I told my family members and complete strangers about Jesus
I told them about his unfailing and endless love for them
I told them that the entire scripture is about only one thing...What will you do with Jesus Christ?
I told them to forget what they have done, how they have failed or the falsities that they have believed.
I told them that I hoped my grandmother knew that amazing love of Christ
I honestly couldn't say one way or the other
This was something I always wondered about
I knew one thing for sure...I definately never shared the love of Christ with her
All I knew is the life my grandmother lived deeply, just as Christ would have wanted her to.
In hindsight, there may have been more Christ in my grandmother than in myself.
After the service, many people came up and thanked me but one in particular, whom I will forever credit as the Lord's voice to me directly. Suddenly, it made no difference of the discomfort of the reunion of my family. It didn't matter who was uncomfortable or who was hurt and disappointed. She told me that my grandmother and my grandfather, both knew the Lord.
3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 3:21 Unto him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
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| To add a comment to "Being Fearfully Courageous" |
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| February 15, 2008 |
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Tracy, this is your best -- and very moving piece of writing, riveting even! I've got goosebumps thinking about the Lord prodding you up there in front of that church, and you OBEYING!!
Thanks for also obeying him in writing this for us, we benefit too! |
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| February 15, 2008 |
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| Wow, this is a great post. So often the Lord asks us to do things and we ignore or disobey, but you didn't. Amen! |
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| February 16, 2008 |
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| Wow, I am stunned! God is so good and amazing, thankyou for being obedient in your time of pain and mourning to care for others. God cared for you and immediately told you your family is with Him!!! wow! |
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| February 16, 2008 |
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| Thanks to all for the encouraging words!! I don't think I realized the potency about what happened until after the fact and now in hindsight, I'm sitting here wondering, why I didn't fall over or burst into tears when I was told about both of my grandparents spiritual life. In any event, the Lord is good. Stay tuned for future "riveting" writing to come!! |
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