|
| Need to write this out so it doesnt manifest itself!! |
|
| |
What are you supposed to do when your very own siblings accuse you of something? That is where my husband is at. The very sister who wrote him the lengthy email saying she has lost all trust in him and "crushed his spirit" by telling him she wonders why He does not love their mother is now accusing him of Stealing from their mother!!!! I cannot take this anymore. I was to through with her before now I truly must wash my hands of her cause I am so very very angry and hurt I really just want to go to her and and tell her about herself.
See here is what is happening: My Mother in Law is in a nursing home. My sister in law (yes this very one) has POA. My husband used to, and kept track of his mom's accounts and paid bills and on and on. Until the sister decided she would go behind his back and file the papers and take it over! We kept our mouths shut! Whatever it takes you think it is so easy go for it. Then when it came to filing paperwork with Medicade (or Medicare) whichever it is, she was very slack in doing so. My husband faxed her and took her copies of all documents she requested. Now 17 months later the nursing Home is saying that they need to be paid $12,000.00. WHat was supposed to happen was that all my MIL money was to go directly to the Nursing home to pay the bill and what ever was left would go to my SIL to be deposited. But because she never filed the correct paper work it was never done!!! Now they want to know where their money is. She is saying she paid them so much and that she is paying so much out of her mothers account to get her things her account they do not have it! So the threat of putting a lien on my SIL house cause she is POA and forcing her to pay the bill has launched a whole new thing!! My SIL got an attorney to advise her (as well she should) and look over accounts and such. Then her attorney noticed a Credit Card bill on auto pay from the Checking account and that it is in My MIL and Husbands name! Yeah no big deal He was after all her POA at the time, well my husband had used it His mother new about it (she was coherint at the time and aware of what was going on) Now she is not so much! My husband who like I said took care of all her bills and such up to a little less than 2 years ago, had it set up as auto pay and would pay his mothers account back from ours then when his sister took it ( he had no control on the account any more) out of sight out of mind so to speak!!! He forgot all about it and My SIL only said something once about it and that was just a few months ago and He was like OMG that is right OK pay it and I will Get you the money to put right back in, He did!! Now he gets an email last night from My SIL that was rambling on and on and to be very honest neither of us could figure it out, so he called her and found out what she was talking about. Seems her lawyer told her it is a federal offense for my husband to have done this and that my SIL has the right to press charges and sue my husband for this money!!!! IF the nursing home goes after her she should do this because he never had permission from the rest of the family to use this card or anything! WHAT????? Wait a minute is what I said YOU were POA at the time and Your mom knew and was Cohereint and the card is in both names!!! This is not right.
My big thing is How many times have we had our parents help us out in a financial crisis?? I mean really!!!! Now because my MIL is unable to handle her own affairs my SIL does and all HELL is breaking loose!!! Why would you even contemplate pressing charges or suing a sibling over something like this! Unless you absolutely knew for sure they were doing it maiciously and or believed that they were capable of taking advantage of your parent!!!
Here is the other thing, every since the last incident (see blog my spirit is so hurt for the details) this woman has not communicated with my husband!! He has called her house, talked to her husband, stopped by and she is always sleeping! Then we get this email, and she says in the email Call me we really need to talk about this!! HELLO PICK UP THE DANG PHONE AND CALL HIM!!!!!!! I mean really!!!
I just am not getting all this. I mean is my thought of Family that far out of reality that this is not normal or supposed to happen!!! I mean I do not believe my mother raised me and my siblings to ever have something like this happen. Especially when you are an ADULT and supposedly a "christian." God says you will know by their fruit! Well UMMMMM am I wrong in saying I dont want to taste that fruit cause it seems pretty rotten to me.
I told my husband last night I am to through. I really dont want to have anything to do with her anymore! I cant it just is not good for me or our kids! I know this is your sister, you may have to but I dont! I wouldnt expect my sister to do what his is doing I cant be expected to let his.
Please if any of you have any thoughts on this please share them!! If I am wrong tell me I am wrong, Share please cause I am so upset by this!!! Please pray!!! |
|
| To add a comment to "Need to write this out so it doesnt manifest itself!!" |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| February 18, 2008 |
 |
|
|
| Praying for you, will come back with thoughts later, have to meditate on this one! |
|
|
| February 18, 2008 |
|
|
|
My Sister,
This is now a fast growing problem with families in your situation all acroos the world, It does not matter if they are Christians or not! The problems seems to go on the way we think and react to situations! most of the time when dealing with family and money , many people become carnal in there dealings, what i mean is we become self centered and want to be the head of everything but don't realy understand what it is we are doing! My grandmother had a stroke not long ago, and I was asked by my two brothers what should be done , because I have worked in the nurse aid field for a long time, anyway i did all the research and told my brothers that if none of us could stay and take care of her, she could be placed in a rest home, that would care for her, and allow one of the brothers take care of the money, or be Power of attorny, Anyway they decided that they would allow my cussin and his family move in and help! Well All Hell came out!
my cussin has done some shamful things to the house and has even went behind our backs and has gotton away to handle her money , which is in a mess now!
There is more to the story but let me say this, it has become a matter of money and things, and the focus is no longer on my grandmother or her well being, its all about the house , the money, and evrything else! People seem to get crazy over money, what I have done is steep away all together and hang out in the back round and allow the Lord to take care of it!
Focus is the key, and if your brother allows his sister to lose focuse or get cought up in something shes involved in for ill gotton gain than I am afried that you are going to have many sleepless nights. You need to pray and stand by your husband, like you should, but if I were you I would not say anything unless asked! Just pray! You are angry at this moment, and you need to sit back a let your prayers go up to God, don't allow this to get you side tract or out of fellowship with anyone " This will couse cunfussion" and we know who the author of confussion is!
I will be praying for you and this situation, but the lord is going to be the one to get you and your family through this time!
|
|
|
| February 18, 2008 |
|
|
|
My Sweet Friend,
My heart cries out for you. I must say from a practical and financial stand... I would recommend a lawyer for you and your husband as well. My first thought is: the credit card was in both names, and if I read it right payments were be paid to an account not to pay the cc. The auto payment was to what??...something for mom? If so I can't see how he would be in trouble. But I would contact a lawyer.
On a personal and spiritual level: you and your husband need to be sure you are both in agreement about what to do about the relationship with his sister. Anyone could tell you their opinion but Jesus' opinion is the only one that matters.
Just to encourage you: My Pastor has said the devil leaves you alone when you aren't a threat. When all hell breaks loose on you it doesn't mean you are necessarily doing wrong, but doing something right. (a threat to the devil).
My prayers are with you and know you will come out of this test stronger than before. Keep focused on Jesus and seek Him for your peace.
Praying,
Robin |
|
|
| February 19, 2008 |
|
|
|
To My Church Friends!! I thank you for your encouragement. I am remaining silent and in prayer about the whole sitution. I do not believe a confrontation is what the Lord wants, this is a battle that He wants played out in the gap! So I will stand fully armed and watching and praying. This goes deeper than the physical family battle this is spiritual and He showed me this last night. This began when she professed to be a "christian" but belongs to a religion that denounces so many Biblical Principles and the Power that Our Savior Has. So He let me know this is about our Christian Faith and Holding on to Him, which is just what I am doing.
I do know that as for "being done with her" that was spoken in anger and if God leads me to I will speak, but at this time I must sever the branch, because it is not good for me or my family right now! Thank you all for your words, prayers and encouragement!! they are much appreciated |
|
|
| February 20, 2008 |
|
|
|
Wow! When it is a money issue...people suddenly forget that there is family on the other end! Like Robin stated, I would definately get a lawyer. It's sad that you may have to do this because family should be able to talk things over and come to an agreement. I pray that The Lord would take care of this problem.
I had a dad that was never around much. Out of guilt he would call me once in a while when he was drunk and say "When I die I am leaving everything to you and I expect you to share it with your sister." I always told him that I wanted a relationship with him which is something that he could never seem to do. Well, he died in 1998. He was married to number? He left her everything. You know what... I let her have it without a fight because if he really did not want me to have it then I did not want it! He rejected me my whole life. I was never good enough for him. I witnessed to him several times about the Lord's forgiveness. He used to tell me that his job was to take care of his brothers and his dad. He left us without food, utilities, a place to live, and the basic needs that a family needs to survive. Most of all, he left me without his love and concern. But God is my Father! He truly is a Father to the fatherless. I am only here because of His Mercy and Grace! He saw beyond my desperate attempt to make myself happy...and He loved me in spite of me!
I realize that this has nothing to do with your situation...only an example at how money can affect people and lives.
It kind of sounds like she is setting up a situation so that she ends up with everything. Of course, I am only on the outside looking in. I hope you have acquired an attorney. I pray that God handles this for you.
I would also appreciate prayer for a situation in our lives.
Blessings to you,
Forgiven. |
|
|
Follow this blog
