| My Mac Buying Experience - Or, The Dawn, the Morning of Delight |
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So after my initial morning confrontation with the so called Genius, who turned out to be the spawn of Satan, I had another conversation with a VERY helpful Apple employee who we'll refer to as Robert from now on. While Elizabeth hated me and all things Apple and only worked there to apparently convince people to spend their money elsewhere, Robert was an incredibly insightful and helpful gentleman who inspired me to continue on with my purchase, talking me through my anxiety, listening when I broke down to tears, laughing with me, offering assistance in my marriage, my life, and even coming over to change a tire on my vehicle. Robert was the supreme example of Customer Service.
When I was through talking with him, my heart was beating faster--I had now made my decision. All that was left was to garner emotional support from my wife, allowing her one more opportunity to change her mind and say "you know what, you're an idiot. This is a dumb idea. Buy a Dell." The anticipation was unbearable. Her response was unremarkable. At this point, even if she had though I was an idiot, she was so annoyed that I continued to pester her with questions like "which one should I get" and my continual descriptions of machines which she cared little about that she said yes so that I'd shut up. So she just said "okay, good. So order it." And I said "really? Should I? Can I put you on speaker so that you can be here when I order it?" She said "well, it isn't going to do anything for me if that makes you feel better." For you single fellows, that's wife-code for "you're an idiot. I have no emotion attached to this purchase whatsoever".
A wife is as emotionally attached to you buying electronics as you are to her buying shoes or getting her nails done. As in, she doesn't care. At all. Or, if you care about her getting her nails done or her shoe shopping, then, well, politely, and respectfully, get a life.
So I hung up with Christi and made the call. 1-800-MY-APPLE.
I will only transcribe the relevant parts of the conversation for space. We shall call this helpful Apple employee Kristen.
Kristen: (with glee) Thanks for calling the Apple Store! My name's Kristin!
Me: (reflecting her joy) Hey Kristin! Well, I just went to order a computer online and I ran into some difficulties, and I was hoping you can help me.
Kristin: (Chipper) Sure! Have you ever bought a Mac before?
Me: (The anticipation mounting) No, this is my first one!
Kristin: (with immense joy) Welcome to the other side!
Me: (Finally feeling like I'm home) Thanks!
So we went on with our conversation, she helped me out, it only took a couple of minutes. And then I said to her:
Me: So is it finished?
Kristin: Yep, we're all ordered here and I'll give you the confirmation number.
Me: So you already put the order in?
Kristin: Yep, you should be getting a confirmation email.
Me: Okay, so you're sure that you ordered the right computer.
Kristin: Yep, sure did.
Me: The 2.4 ghz one.
Kristin: Yep.
Me: 15 inch display.
Kristin: Yep.
Me: Refurbished.
Kristin: Relax sir, you're with Apple.
Me: I know, I'm just nervous, you know?
Kristin: You're here now, sir.
Me: I know, but when I was on the website, I added and deleted it from my cart like 4 times so I made sure I got the right one.
Kristin: Now you're just being neurotic.
Me: I know! I just don't want to mess it up and make sure I got the right one.
Kristin: You did. Look at our stocks. People are happy with their computers. You got the best laptop we have.
Me: Alright, so it's the 2.4.
Kristin: Shut up sir.
Me: Yes Maam.
Okay, so those last two lines didn't happen. But the point remains that Kristin did a remarkable job with my order, and my Mac is on the way! One slight problem, she entered my email address incorrectly. She spelled my last name with a "B". As in, "Mulber". No worries. I got it fixed. And my mac is still shipping to the right address. Hopefully. Otherwise my neighbor will have a SWEET Christmas. |
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