Juan now has learned much about America since live in trailor park. America is nice people that just want to live happy. However there are certain things that Juan not learn own his own and have to have help. For example yesterday Juan ask man for directions and man say "It's right over yonder". Juan not know what this mean, so I ask my friend Billy to help. Billy give me quick lesson that I share with you so maybe you can learn too.

Lesson #1 - Units of Measure

There are three main units of measure. Smidgeon, Dab, A Bunch. Here are definitions of each

Smidgeon - Less than a dab

Dab - More than a smidgeon but less than A Bunch

A Bunch - More than a dab. "Ain't no chance of running out"

Lesson #2 - Distance

There are also three main ways to measure distance. "Right There" , "Way over there", "Over Yonder". Here are definition of each

Right there - This mean it is very close, usually within eye sight

Way Over There - This mean it is too far away to say "right there" but still close enough to walk to.

Over Yonder - This mean that it is too far to walk to so you have to drive to it. Over yonder usually is followed by the term "right beside "

Lesson #3 - Level of Urgency

Last lesson is how to know level of urgency. It also have 3 main ones. Come on meat, Hurry up stanky, Lite a Fire. Here are definitions.

Come on meat- This mean we got some place to be. We have 10 minutes to get there but it only 5 minutes away.

Hurry up stanky - This mean that we got to get there fast. We probably have 5 minute to get there and location is 5 minute away. In other words we got leave now to happen on time.

Lite a fire - This mean that we already late and it is my fault. This term is used only after the first two, and it is said with mean tone of voice.

Lesson #4 - Level of Surprise

Ok this last lesson for really. Level of surprise is measure in 3 terms. "Check that out" , Oh my Gaawd", "Lawd have mercy!" Here are definition

Check that out - This mean person is mildly surprise by something. Probably from seeing a "purty" truck

Oh my Gaawd - This mean person is very surprise by something, and you should make sure to see what it is too. Could be fight in front of gas station or 50% off sale on pork chops.

Lawd have mercy! - This mean very very suprise, and you might have to start running. This could be man has gun or walmart on fire.

Juan hope this help you fit in if ever come to visit this part of country. I still learning though.