tackle a project with your spouse (S.O., sibling, whoever) without waging war?

I've been chuckling in the back corner of my brain since around lunch time.  Why?  Because for the first time in my entire marriage my husband and I managed to complete a project without anyone getting angry and storming off!  That's reads worse than the reality. LOL  When it comes to any kind of project we are total opposites in our approaches.  I plan things out, make lists, buy everything, lay out the parts, study them, read the instructions, and then go step by step.  Bill gets a vague idea of what he wants, buys parts of it, disregards the instructions, jumps in with both feet, then gets exasperated when things don't work the way he'd imagined.

I don't know what most people's first fights are over, I would hope something important, ours...how to hook up the VCR to the TV and stereo.  Was the first of many times I have heard God's voice in my head saying "Just walk away...bite your tongue and walk away."  Took Bill seven hours to get things hooked up and functioning.  To this day he says it should not have worked the way the instructions indicated.

So imagine my trepidation at the idea of revamping his website.  Especially since it's something I have never done before!  When he suggested it, I resisted, I just KNEW he'd be hanging over my shoulder second guessing every choice and telling me what to do.  Past experience had me rolling my eyes when he swore not to...uh huh...SURE you won't William!

Two days later I now know how to use the software and am teaching it to him, his website is elegant and professional (it was horrid before), and neither of us got angry.  I readily admit God had to chime in a few times and remind me to take a deep breath and relax before speaking.  All it took was gentle reminders that Bill needed to respect my vision and trust that I would do justice to the business he so loves.  Watching him struggle to let go enough to allow me "control" of things was enough to keep me patient.

We did have a moment that made me burst out laughing.  In discussing a form he needed added to the site I was trying to keep asthetics at the fore while honoring the need for a disclaimer to be added.  After 10 minutes back and forth over the content of a single sentence I suddenly had the tower of Babel stuck in my head.  Everyone was talking, nobody understanding. The one sentence "All insured operations MUST be located in Alaska."...WOW. (What you expected someting on the order of, "We hold these truths to be self evident..."?)

How easy it is to be so focused on what we are trying to say that everything around us becomes a foreign language.  My head was swarming with "I am not making this page messy or ugly!"  I'm certain his was filled with thoughts of legalities and time lost on potential clients he isn't licensed to assist. 

I've seen the same kind of thing happen to fellow Christians when they are talking to God.  You get so wrapped up in what you expect, your vision of the outcome of your prayers, that you create a communication problem every bit as big as two people speaking three different languages.  What language does God speak?  How do we ensure that when he speaks, we understand? 

Some folks say, "Read your bible and God will show you."  Others "Listen to your pastor, elders, ..."  "Ask other Christians"  All boil down to the same thing, God will speak.  I think though that he often speaks in ways we simply don't recognize or know how to translate.  The gentle breeze caressing your cheek on a day you feel lonely and forgotten.  Flowers growing in unexpected spots.  The beauty of the mountians, or the stark harshness of a homeless camp. Are you open to all of them? 

Years ago I tried to show a friend all the ways in which I saw God answering her prayers, but she just couldn't see.  He was whispering, "Come close" she was saying, "Leave me in awe!"  I'm certain God's heart hurt every bit as much as hers did over not hearing each other.  Take time, slow yourself down, breathe deep, let the different languages of life flow through you and enrich.  Don't close out what you think you can't comprehend.   New insights, new languages, bring great joy.

God is speaking, will you hear him?