| Life is amazing yet confusing! |
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| So my life is way different from people that i am friends with today. As i look around at my best friends and people that i have come close to in the last almost three years its different. Sometimes i wonder what would i have done if i didn't move to south carolina but to another state. It scares me! Story of my life: Going back three years to my 9th grade year! I remember dad coming home one day from work close to the end of the school year and telling us that we are moving to Florence, South Carolina. Me, coming from a place were i have always lived, never moved girl was shocked! I didn't know where Florence was, yea i knew where South Carolina was but what is Florence. I sat in my bed room that night wonder why my dad would do this to me. Right at the beginning of my high school career! WHY!! i was just starting to like school and enjoy every minute of it. Well, the morning finally came. As i got to school i let my good friends know that i am moving during the summer. I will never forget the way my best friend Jarrid reacted to me. He gave me a dirty look and walked away and wouldn't talk to me at all that day! Well forth period came around and i sat there and listened to my history teacher Mr. rob talk about how he moved from up north when he was little and was scared to death but something, actually someone gave him peace. in florida schools, teachers aren't allowed to talk about God! But he always would because it always made sense. As i was listening to him speak this claiming sensation ran through out my body about me moving. Its not going to be that bad i finally realized. yea its going to be sad leaving everyone that i have grown up with but its a brand new beginning. As forth period came to an end Jarrid finally walked up to me with tears in his eyes and told me that i couldn't leave because i meant the world to him as a friend. He told me that he has liked me as more than a friend all our lives but was scared to tell me and now angry because the person that he finally felt normal around was leaving him here by himself. i explained that there was nothing i could do because us moving was final! it was sad leaving him and all my other close friends behind because they mean the world to me and always will. I remember walking on the the plane leaving orlando to head to florence. and let me tell you when i got here and realized that it only takes you 10 minutes to get from one side to the other kind of shocked me. As the years have progressed i have experienced God work in so many was. I can remember the first day of school at South Florence High School. It was the worst day in my entire life. i have never felt so alone in my life. sitting under the stairs at lunch because i didn't have any friends. its weird moving to a different location where everyone is different. i came from a huge school that looks like a college to a little school thats the size of our elementary schools in florida. things and people are a lot different up here. racism is just another thing up here where in florida its never whites against blacks is always whites against whites or blacks against blacks. why is racism so widely known here in a place also known as the Bible belt? Why do Christians look at me or anyone else wrong when we bring a colored person or someone thats not white into a predominately white church? what is so wrong with that? NOthing we are all equal in Gods eyes. If you want to be friends with a Black person go ahead because you have nothing to lose. We just have different colored skin thats all!!! My best friend Britney is black and she is the greatest friend that i have ever had come into my life. she teaches me so much just as i teach her things. life here is a lot different even though i am only two states away! Life has gotten slowly harder when you lose a best friend! Jarrid my best friend from florida passed away last winter. He got into a really bad four wheeler accident and was in the hospital in ICU! He made it for about a week but passed away because his brain was swelling so much and finally stopped working. I miss my best friend more than anything in the world be there is nothing i can do but live FOR GOD in my faith just as Jarrid did. I want to be able to go to heaven and see him when its my time to go. Not a day goes by that i don't think of him but it happened and i have to live with it for the rest of my life. As my life is progressing i notice that people start to look at me different just because my sister made a mistake. God doesn't plan for teenagers to get pregnant we choose to have sex and not be protected. God is just there when we choose that wrong path to help us make the rest of our decisions right. I get frowned upon because everyone thinks that i am going to have sex and get pregnant at a young age to. HELLO DID YOU EVER THINK THAT I LEARNED FROM HER MISTAKE TO BE CONSERVATIVE? Everyone is different no one chooses the same path. Yea we may go down the path that has similar traits but no ones path is the same as another. I am very iffy at what i do in front of people. I don't like wearing a bathing suit in front of people because it bothers me. I do it anyways to fit in. I don't like the thought of seeing anyone else naked if i can't even be comfortable with my self naked. Everyone is different, some of us learn from siblings mistakes some just don't care to pay attention. Its hard now for me to have a normal life. My parents put limits on things i do because they think that i am going to go have sex. they don't understand what's going on in my mind. just kissing someone is to much for me. i am not ready to be serious with anyone about sex. I have promised GOD and my parents to not have sex before marriage and its going to stay like that because its a goal that i have set for my life and NO ONE is going to take that away from me!!!!! This world is so hard to live in with the pressures everyone says but to me its easy! I am my own person and no one can tell me to do something. I am strong enough in my faith to say no! I have done it on many occasions and it works! Its the best feeling that you will ever feel in your entire life. I will never give in to anyone no matter what.. Sorry it doesn't work for me. I appreciate everyone that has helped me get through this hard time of people looking at me differently just because my sister made a bad decision, but on the bright side i have two lovely AMAZING nephews that love me more than anything in the world! people make there own decisions and have to live with them so make the right decision to live for God instead of letting other people live through you! |
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