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| My friend |
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I just wanted you to read the story of my friend. I love her strength. This is her life story that she wrote and it shows her faith.
FIRST OFF ~ alittle intro for the ones that don't already know about me. ~ When I was 14 years old I got shot with a .38 special through my throat by my x-boyfriend at the time. (I broke up with him a week before)It happened on March 25th 1995... Anyway, he got the gun from his step-dad's room and was going to commit suicide in front of me. I freaked out and pulled the gun away...and it shot me instead. It was an accident…In the blink of an eye I went from a kid that didn't act or LOOK like a kid I realize that now to someone who had to grow up real fast and deal with life long struggles. The bullet went thru my windpipe AROUND my vocal cords (I believe GOD wanted me to say something special) thru my spine and spinal cord leaving me to be a C5-C6. If you don't know what that means, it means I'm paralyzed from my breasts down. I can't feel or move anything. I'm a Quadriplegic. Now, when I see people out and about and they ask me what happen to me and I tell them. I get the same reaction every time. "OH MY GOSH", "Is that guy in prison for doing that to you?", "you want me to take care of him for you", "and someone should teach him a lesson", and I think this is where my testimony comes in…I tell them…exactly how I feel about it as I'm about to tell you. "No, he is not in prison. It was accident, bad choices leads to bad things. However, GOD can use bad judgments as teaching, learning, new understandings. I feel the "he" is in his own prison everyday just knowing he had a hand in it and I also believe "he" still needs to forgive himself, hand it over to GOD… like I did. At first, yes I'm not going to lie it was very hard to deal with things and I think I cried myself asleep every night asking GOD why? Why me? But, one night 2 or 3 years later after the accident it was different… it started off the same… I was lying in bed, remember now, I can't move, can't get up. I just was lying there staring at the ceiling crying out loud but yet trying to hold it in too…so, I wouldn't wake my parents and I was just talking out loud to myself, GOD…and thinking contently about "what if" and "time travel" and what "he" was doing right at that moment. Was "he" out having a good time with his friends or out with a new girlfriend while I'm lying here like I am? It was killing me, my brain wouldn't shut-up for one second and with each thought, my stomach would just knot up more and more. Because, I still loved "him" very much and just the thought of "him" being with someone else made me feel sick. Once again, I cried out "WHY?" and it hit me… just out of no where. I stopped crying and it wasn't like I heard another voice or anything. It was like a thought…but, not my thought… I can't explain it. But, all I remember is… "Forgive him…this is only hurting you Stacey", and the weird thing is…I thought I had already forgiving him since day one. "Him" and I both knew it was an accident. But, I never handed over my "problems" and feelings and thoughts to GOD, I just kept asking "why"… I guess GOD was tired of me asking "why" and just went ahead and told me. That "I" needed, peace… let it go…
After that night, everything was different, I felt different… a different way of thinking. I mean yeah, I'm still paralyzed; The doctor's say I'll never be able to use or feel my legs again. Nor move my fingers,(except in heaven) or doing things like "I use too" like riding a bike or running for miles until your legs get that hot limp jello feeling and then you just fall over (I loved running)…and just the little things people take for granted…The feeling of beach sand between your toes. I still remember that feeling and it will be 13 years on March 25th. But with my different way of thinking, I've realized… some people are born paralyzed or something else is wrong with them. They will never know those "feeling" or have those "memories" so in that sense I'm very blessed! As for my X-boyfriend, we are still good friends. I love him dearly; it's just a different kind of love now. He'll always be connected to my life. He's happily married and has 3 beautiful children.
I use to not tell people online that I am in a wheelchair in fear of being "Judged" when in fact, I was ALREADY being judged. When I finally got up the guts to tell "them" what happen to me a lot of "them" stop being my friend and cut all ties from me. Which in result only hurt me worst...and made me scared to tell people what happen to me. But I finally had enough...I guess I went through another change. If you don't like me...then you don't like me. :) Simple as that. I've had a ruff life so far...But I'm still making it day by day. Life is tooooo short to be mad or upset at everything all the time. Believe me I KNOW...
~ *The Lord is my light and my salvation-so why should I be afraid? The Lord protects me from danger-so why should I tremble? When...my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will know no fear. Even if they attack me, I remain confident.... For he will conceal me...when troubles come; he will hide me.... Then I will hold my head high, above my enemies who surround me (Psalm 27:1-3,5,6 NLT).*~
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| that is an incredible story. Thanks for sharing |
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Kathy |
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March 06, 2008 at 7:02pm |
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| When life gets tough, those around us see who we really are. This is quite a testimony, to make us all think twice about our own struggles! Tell your friend she is a blessing and a reflection of Jesus to everyone she encounters! |
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