Last week, I posted this pitiful little blog about me 'being in a wilderness state' and how I just felt, pretty much, hopeless, but ohhhh, how I praise God for a loving and caring and 'real talk' Pastor that was not having it!!! After I posted that pity-party of a blog, Yes, I was convicted by the Holyspirit, but I still posted it and I praise God that my spiritual father read it and immediately spoke a Word to me. Oh, believe me when I tell you this....When I saw that message box and I clicked on it and it was from him....lol...my heart leaped, because immediately, I knew that I was about to hear the truth and you all know that the truth ain't what you always want to hear when you are sulking in your mess, you want someone to jump on the band wagon and say, "Awww Tania, I feel ya! I'm sorry! I understand! You're only human and you deserve to feel that way sometimes!" All of that is a lie from the pits of hell!!! God don't want me sitting around feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in my own self-pity...in a 'Woe is me' state of mind, He wants me to remember that I was, as Pastor Mark said, 'dipped in the Blood of Jesus' and that I didn't have to be in the wilderness, and that the only reason I was there, was because I chose to be there, I detoured off the path, and allowed the enemy to lead me straight into the woods! PRAISE GOD FOR MY PASTOR! After pouring love out on me, he poured truth into me. He gave me the Word of God and and then asked me 'how could I be in the dark, when I am the light of the world?' He gave me this and it changed everything that I felt and thought: Hebrews 11:6 "without FAITH it is impossible to please HIM, for he (you and me) that cometh to God must believe that He is (He is your provider, your joy, your healer, your waymaker, He is everything you need), and that He IS A REWARDER of them that DILIGENTLY seek Him". There is no reward if you are doing it with an attitude of I don't want to, but here you go!
Wow...then how can you stay in that frame of mind when you have been given a Word like that? I got up off my behind, got on my knees and repented and immediately, I knew God was pulling me out of that darkness. Oh, it didn't come immediately, because how many of you know that the enemy don't want you to come out of an area that he has you so bound in? It was a battle! Pastor told me this:Get out of bed, get dressed, tell the devil he is a liar, praise God, worship God, and dive into the Word of God, and rejoice in God, laugh and leap for joy. Get out of your house, and go do something good for someone else. Go put yourself in a position to do something (an act) of good and ministry for someone else! THAT IS HOW YOU STOP THIS RUN AWAY TRAIN!
Glory to God! I got up and did just what he told me. I turned on my music and began to give God the glory. Even though I still felt deep down in the woods, I began to worship and as I began to worship, the tears came, and as the tears came, I knew that freedom was coming. The Holyspirit reminded me of something He told me about 8 yrs ago, "tears are unspoken words that cannot be uttered"! 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
So I knew that 'Freedom' was coming, and it did! God is so Awesome! It took me some tears! Saturday was shaky...Sunday was weepy, but I tell you, yesterday, joy came in the morning. I knew that the Father had pulled me out of that wilderness.
Pastor told me to pretty much examine myself and to ask myself how did I get to that state of mind. He asked, "Are you doing what it takes to keep your light on", and "how is your prayer life" , and, "how is your Word life"? I sat back and questioned it and yes, I had begun to slack in those areas, and it did open the door for the enemy to come in and try to do some damage. He knows that I am a powerful woman of God. I Am!!! I Am!!! I Am!!! I refuse to allow him to take away the anointing that God has placed on my life, and the only way he can do that is if, 'I LET HIM'!!! I'm not gonna let it happen. I can't let it happen! If I do, then whats left? Then where do I go? Back to the world? Ummm..>NO!!! What's out there for me? NOTHING!!! Misery! Pain! Death! Hell! Who wants that? Surely, not me!!!
Be blessed this day and everyday! 4:1 Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; 4:2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 4:3 But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: 4:4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. 4:5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake. 4:6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to [give] the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 4:7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 4:8 [We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; 4:9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 4:10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 4:11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 4:12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.
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