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| Dear Mom |
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Well, I have asked a few people to pray for my mom recently. I am very concerned about her spiritual wellbeing and now I wish to enlist the prayers of others. One sunday a few weeks ago Brother Billy was preaching and it had absolutely nothing to do with parents or anything else I am going to say, but while I was sitting there the Lord put it on my heart to write my mother a letter and let her know I had forgiven her for some of the things she had done that hurt me (we all hurt others at one time or another), and to urge her to seek God for a better life. Below is a copy of that letter.
Dear Mom,
As the months continue to stroll by I am forced to follow God’s instruction in obedience and write this letter to you for two reasons, which I will explain later.
It may seem impersonal to you to receive a letter instead of a personal visit, but God has impressed upon me that this would be best for several reasons. First, you have a tendency to not listen to every word; you often pick out what you think affects you the most and toss out the rest. This was proven when you told [my brother] I said you were a bad mother when we were growing up. I actually said a whole lot more than that, but you were being so defensive you didn’t even hear me.
Secondly, there should be no interruptions. Oftentimes in conversations people are too quick to stop listening and start thinking about how they are going to respond. And finally this letter serves as a record that you can refer to and read over and over until you gain understanding. If you feel you need to consult someone for counsel or advice, then you will have my exact words right here.
I know that my conception was not merely the result of a series of bad choices made between you and my biological father. I came into being because God wanted me to be here; it was His choice and I live only to please Him.
About 2 years ago I forgave you for the things that hurt me that I feel can be directly traced back to choices you made. The first was your decision to work evenings even when it was brought to your attention that your family needed you; I thought that was extremely selfish.
The second thing I have forgiven you for is your consistent breaking of confidence and emotional absence. Even when you were home, you were not really available, and on the rare chance we did have a heart to heart about something, I was informed by other family members shortly there after that you discussed it with them when I felt you knew it was a confidential issue.
Thirdly, I forgive you for initiating and participating in shameful gossip and lies about me and my family. The scheme that was devised to get me and my family out of the house in Longdale was conceived out of the lies and gossip you started. This is what leads to the final thing that I have forgiven you for; going behind my back and arranging to sell the house even though we came to an agreement together to wait, and that you would not make any decisions without discussing them with us first.
Whether or not you believe you are guilty of these things or that you even need my forgiveness is beside the point; your salvation is not determined by my forgiveness – only God can do that!
When you asked us to move in with you, I did not see it as a free ride or a chance to get “my dream house” back. I saw it as an opportunity for the two of us to finally build that Mother/Daughter relationship I always wanted. Loosing the house was pretty minor compared to the loss of that relationship. That is why the whole episode scared my heart so deeply. Isn’t it ironic how the ones we love the most are usually the ones that leave the most scars?
The second purpose of this letter is to tell you that I forgave you and I am not bitter towards you, just in case you were wondering.
The first purpose of this letter is to ask, or rather beg you to go before God and seek His forgiveness and the blessings that are sure to follow. Please pray over these Bible verses as they are the ones God wants you to hear and gain understanding of. Also, maybe they will help you to understand why I have currently chosen not to have you in the forefront of my life. I choose to keep space between you and me because I cannot allow the drama of your hallucinations of ghosts and spirits, your trust and faith in psychics and witches, your vulnerability to believe and spread gossip, and your consistent lack of forethought and common sense when making financial decisions and purchases. As a Christian I must avoid people that bring those things into my life.
Deuteronomy 18:10-12 says… “There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, (11) or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. (12) For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord; and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you.”
Proverbs 6:16-19 “There are six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: (17) Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, (18) a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly into evil, (19) a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers.”
Proverbs 20:19 “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.”
Revelation 21:7-8 “He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be His God and he will be My son. (8) But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murders and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters, and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
It is for this reason that I urge you to go to the Lord and confess your sins and ask for his forgiveness. God wants so much to bless you with good health and less stress in your finances, and He is waiting for you. God loves you so much and so do I, and that’s why I have been praying for you. God can help you control your compulsive shopping, free you from your heartache from years past, and relieve you of these hallucinations. Stop giving Satan the freedom to run your life and allow God to help you. Please understand that I am not trying to hurt you or make it sound like you are a terrible person. We have all made more than our share of mistakes. I have had to go before the Lord on many occasions to ask for His forgiveness and seek His guidance. I am sure that since I am human I will have to do it many more times before I am called home. It is God that has given me the strength to endure throughout hard times.
You were born for the same reason I was; to give God pleasure through worship and obedience. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way, but I think I am the only one that is choosing to obey God by bringing to your attention what you need to acknowledge and act on. I not only ask you, but I beg you to please sit in judgment against yourself and confess to God. Jesus did not shed blood in vain! I know you say you have been saved, and you probably were…it isn’t for me to say, but you still have some issues that must be settled between you and God…and oh what blessings you will receive from that settlement! ~Love Julia
Please Pray for my mom...and me. I really want her to have the joy God wants to give her. Also, let what the Lord put on my heart to tell her also touch our hearts and teach us as we continue to grow in the Lord and cherish His love for us. |
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Dear Julia...
Life is so hard and sometimes,we wonder why God lets us go through these trials. Especially conflicts with our beloved family members. We ask questions like..."why can't I just have a normal family.... One that is loving and giving and perfect."...I remember asking God that when I was a young girl, when my dad was not around much, he wanted to spend time with others instead of me, affairs...drinking...uh oh...in my 53 years I have not heard or seen of a perfect family. Not wanting to take away from your situation with your mom, it must be heartbreaking to experience what you are going through. But I just want to say, maybe you could try loving her more...instead of backing away....I don't mean you have to agree with her or things like that, but maybe some extra love "for the unlovely"..send her cards with just a greeting telling her you love her and just mentioning the things that she did right?. Or maybe flowers, fix her an Easter basket, or maybe give her a call, and keep it short and light, and ending with I love you. God can work through this. Let go of the bitterness and watch God go!
For so long I held on to the hurt and the feeling of not having a "normal" father...but when I finally let go and let God take control...I realized that I could not change him, but God could.
My dad finally left and lived away, and we started corresponding...I told him how much I loved him and always how much God loved him...but I did not preach...
On his dying bed, I got the priviledge of leading my daddy to the Lord...I knew my daddy loved me, but most of all I knew my heavenly Father loved me to let me experienc that.
I know your heart is breaking for your mom, and I will pray that God will change her heart toward Him, and that God will mend your heart toward Him. He will take away the hurt and heal the hole!
Oh God is an awesome God...
Keep us posted.
Love, Karen
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Cheryl |
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March 14, 2008 at 1:03pm |
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I will be praying~
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Deb |
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March 14, 2008 at 3:06pm |
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| I will be praying as well. |
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| Great letter , and great desire to see her know the Lord. DON"T GIVE UP! |
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Amy |
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March 14, 2008 at 9:16pm |
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| I just finished praying for you and your mother. I asked the Lord to remove the veil that is covering her eyes. That she will be able to see her need to seek forgiveness from Him and a need to repent. Keep praying and we are in agreement with you for not only her salvation, but that there will be divine intervention in your relationship. I pray that someday, this will be so far in the past, and you will both will have embraced a new and refreshed relationship as mother and daughter! God is faithful! Bless you! |
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Julia |
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March 17, 2008 at 8:40am |
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You guys are all great, Karen Thank you for your support and understanding...as well as your perspective. I must add though that I am not angry at my mother, nor do I feel bitter at all. For all of the past 26 years; save for the past 3, I did what you suggested and gradually things continued to worsen. I realized that her attitude, beliefs, and actions were having a negetive effect on my family and that is why I decided I needed to put space between us and hand her over to God.
Cheryl, Deb, Chris, and Amy, I am so thankful to have you praying for us.I know the power of prayer is so very effective.
Also, I want to add that I am also using the above letter to help me be a better mother. We all fail and need improvement, and although I know I will never be perfect and will never quit making mistakes, I pray that with the Lord's help and guidance they will consistantly be fewer and further between. I would like to think that when all of my children have become adults they will look at me and be able to feel that if I were not their mother, they would still choose to have me as one of their friends. |
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| Julia, will continue to pray for your mom & for you. |
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Julia |
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March 18, 2008 at 9:29am |
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| Thanks racunpoodle...that dog is huge! |
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| I prayed for you mom, hope she finds the Lord |
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