Deborah, a friend at church, recently divorced, is contending for custody of her three young daughters (ages 9, 10, and 12). I offered to blog about the plight in which she and her girls find themselves in order to reach a larger audience within the family of God, because Deborah’s children need help.

She has given me a description of what her children’s lives have become since their father won custody (by lying repeatedly to the judge). Deborah says her ex-husband has no genuine interest in his daughters, but only sought custody as a way of spiting her. As I read the material she gave me to post here, I literally choked each time I read the word “father”. She’s told us about her ex- before, but his ill and neglectful treatment of his own children has worsened recently, and the effects on the children are becoming more obvious. As usual, the brunt of the ugliness of divorce falls on the young, the innocent, and the helpless. At the moment, nothing breaks my heart more.

The purpose of this blog: So far, Deborah has spent $45K on ineffective (in her words. “worthless”) legal representation, fighting for full custody. She has had no success at all thus far, and cannot financially afford to continue the fight. Here is our plea: if you are a lawyer, or know of one, preferably a committed believer in Christ, who would be willing to offer gratis (free) legal assistance to Deborah (and by extension her children), please contact me at once.

If you cannot help with legal assistance, you can STILL help with your prayers!!

Deborah writes......

Hannah (9, the youngest) throws violent temper tantrums now where she strikes those around her, has meltdowns virtually every time I have to take her back to her father's house, and constantly begs to come live with me. She's also having an increased number of night terrors, including walking, kicking, and screaming in her sleep. Prior to court in October, Hannah had been treated by a therapist because she had threatened to commit suicide, and had gone so far as to wrap a rope around her neck in one of her fits of rage. Her father was not terribly instrumental in Hannah's therapy, and I have email conversations with him where he balked at her ever having gotten treatment in the first place.

Sarah (10) has also threatened to kill herself or run away from her father's home. She is terrified of her father. Sarah says that her father (an attorney practicing in Baltimore County), screams so much that she thinks he's going to lose his voice completely someday. Recently she confided in me that she had a dream that her father entered her room and tried to stab her to death while she slept. Sarah recently told me that she's angry with her father and it seems as though she feels betrayed because her father lied to her for so long, having portrayed me as the "evil" woman who "left" everyone behind. Also, Sarah suffers from chronic constipation and will go a week or longer without going to the bathroom. Two doctors have put her on a daily regimen of Miralax, yet her father will not give her the medicine on a consistent basis. Her father has also now seemed to have left his "Christian" values as he now uses vulgar language (including the "f" word) not only in the presence of the children, but directed toward them, which angers Sarah.

Rebekah (12, the oldest) is doing work in school far below her capabilities. She's consistently tasked with caring for her younger siblings in her father's absence and being their primary caregiver after school and on weekends when he schedules appointments. She was once a straight "A" student and is now getting Cs and Ds in subjects she once aced. Her mid-term Algebra grade is an "F" - she no longer turns in the majority of her homework assignments. Her father does not check homework of any of the children on a regular basis, so they are often left to figure things out for themselves. Rebekah has no rules to follow, has a computer/Internet access in her room, and is free to do anything and everything she wants, including not doing homework and accessing inappropriate material on the Internet. She's also allowed to go over to boys' houses (all of her "best" friends are male) without concern for adult supervision.

Sarah cries frequently at school and Hannah draws "disturbing" pictures. Rebekah downloads graphic images from the Internet depicting violence (Ninja comic strip where he chops off people's heads and mutilates their bodies). I'm trying to get counseling for the girls, but their father has been hindering my efforts. Their father has made it impossible for me to get the kids out of school (Baltimore County Public) to take them to any doctor's appointments. He's refused to discuss the girls' health with me and has not tended to the girls' dental needs in a year (Rebekah needs 2 teeth pulled). I only have the girls every other weekend and every Thursday evening for 3 hours or so, so it's nearly impossible to schedule doctor's appointments during "my" time with them, because doctors just aren't available. However, recently I did take Rebekah to the doctor on a Saturday morning because she'd been coughing up yellow mucous for the past week, and her father didn't bother taking her to the doctor's. It turned out that she had a sinus infection that easily could've developed into a full-blown upper respiratory infection.

My ex-husband leaves the girls at home alone, sometimes for long stretches of time. He frequently schedules client meetings on weekends and evenings he has the girls, leaving them to take care of themselves. The girls constantly complain about how late their father feeds them dinner, sometimes as late as 8-8:30 p.m. on school nights. Oftentimes the girls go to bed very late and are not getting adequate sleep.


Prayers for Deborah and her children (Hannah, Sarah, Rebekah) would be MOST appreciated! And if you are led by the Spirit to offer Deborah and the girls assistance of any other kind (in particular, legal assistance), again please message me at once. Thank you and God bless.