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| The Sanctity of Marriage and the Intrusion of the Enemy |
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19:4 He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, 19:5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." 19:7 They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" 19:8 He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery."
There has been an outbreak of trials and tribulations among my home church members. Some are dealing with serious, life altering or life ending illnesses, or the loss of a spouse through death. Some are dealing with marital problems that have caused many separations. These are only two examples, there are more...many people have said that this is an attack by satan. If so, then our church members are under attack, and some are not faring so well.
For the purpose of this blog, I want to concentrate on marriage and the enemy. What has happened? How are so many being led astray? How could we have forgotten the marriage vows we took before our family and friends, and God? Have we shelved the sanctity of marriage, and opted for temporary thrills to make us happy? Have we grown weary of the monogamy of marriage? Have we grown bored with the same routine day in and day out?
I am not pointing fingers, and I am not trying to lay blame. I have walked the path of marriage difficulties. I know how easy it is to go off course. I know how much work it takes to make a marriage run smoothly. Marriage is like a well oiled machine. If it doesn't get the maintenance performed on a regular basis, it doesn't take long for it to break down. If you don't put effort into it, you can't expect to make it. If God is not at the center of it, then you are up a creek without a paddle.
My husband and I separated years ago. It was a horrible time in our lives, and I would not wish it for anyone. Yet, had we not gone through it, we would not be where we are now, on much more solid ground, with a stronger bond, and an awareness of how quickly things can dissolve into ruins. Marriages CAN be brought back from the rubble, but it sure isn't easy and it sure isn't quick.
Do my husband and I still have problems? Yes. Do we still argue? You bet. Do we still make mistakes, feel like giving up, grow tired of the work it takes? Definitely. But there is one thing that is more prevalent now, that was almost non-existent before. COMMITTMENT. We are not only committed to each other, but to God. No matter what happens we will work it out. No matter what happens, we will do our best to stay faithful to God and to each other. No matter what happens we will keep checking, taking stock of how things are going, if there are any problems lurking...no matter what, divorce is NOT an option.
My heart breaks for the families that are torn apart by affairs, or pornography addiction, or alcoholism, or abuse. The list can go on...I see my FRIENDS going through separation in their marriages and I want to scream, "No you can't do this. Don't you see what is happening? The devil is trying to tear you apart. You can't let him do this!" Yet for them, the problems that they are facing are huge...and perhaps staying together is not an option for them at this point in time. I try to encourage them, but it is hard. I know what they are going through since I went through it. This is a journey that only they can go through, and if they choose to allow Him, God will go with them. But they still have to go through it. When one marriage partner has an affair, or does some other stupid, selfish act that breaks a marriage apart, then there are consequences to be paid.
When will we learn? When will we wake up and realize that God is looking down at us with tears streaming down His face, because He loves us so much and we have made such a mess for ourselves. He hurts at our pain, but it is pain that is deserved for the choices we have made.
I know we are all human, and therefore subject to sin. But how many times do we sin before we learn our lesson? How much will it take to get us to stick by God's side no matter what? How long before we realize that we cannot make our marriages work without the help of God?
I have messed up in the past, so I cannot judge those that mess up in their marriages. But if two people love each other, and there is no physical abuse going on, then shouldn't they do whatever it takes to stay together? Isn't that what God would want? Forgiveness is all a part of being a Christian, but there is also a limit of how much sin a marriage can take. I just want to yell "Wake up people! God is watching you! Try to do what is right in His eyes. Don't have an affair, don't look at that porn, don't take that drink, don't do those drugs". Marriage is holy, and somehow we have made it unholy. We have gotten complacent in our lives. We have let selfishness take over. We have allowed the enemy to come in and break down our marriages piece by piece, slowly at first, but then faster as time wears on. We need to wake up and FIGHT for our marriages and for the holiness of them!!!!! We need to re-commit to God and to our spouses, and tell the devil to take a hike!!!!!
Dear Lord, so many within my church are hurting now in their marriages. The enemy has launched an attack upon our people, and we need You to help us fight this fight. Heal the hurts Lord, heal the hearts that have been broken, give peace, give understanding, give forgiveness. Help us to be strong to fight for our marriages and the sanctity of them, renew in our hearts the desire to be holy, to treat our spouses as if they are holy. Do not let the enemy have any slack Lord! Don't let him get a foot hold on marriage in our church. Don't let him destroy loving families. Some of these people that are hurting now Lord, are my friends, and I am hurting right along with them. I will not sit idly by and watch them self destruct. Please help me to be a positive force in their lives. Show me what I can do to help. Show others within our church how we can show support. Lord, bring us all together as one church to fight this fight. Amen. |
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Jenily |
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March 18, 2008 at 1:45pm |
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| COMMITTMENT. We are not only committed to each other, but to God.....That's the key ingredient |
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Deb, great blog! This one hits close to home b/c we facilitate a "marriage enrichment" small group. We've dealt with some pretty tough marital issues, or I should say, we've fought through some tough issues. In fact, some of the marriages we've dealt with are still together by a miracle of God!! But it's such a powerful testimony when Christians put their love of God higher than their desire for a perfect marriage or life of contentment and happiness. And I just wanted to add, I firmly believe that in marriages of struggle, it only takes one partner firmly committed to serve the Lord with all they've got to save the marriage. Because it only takes one partner to be used as a tool by God in the marriage. Thanks for this awesome contribution to MyChurch blogmania Deb!!! |
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| Wow! I am one of those who allowed Satan to tear apart my marriage. You are right, as long as there is one person committed to serving the Lord, God will use them and the marriage CAN be reconciled. As a person who has been 'lost' I can tell you that sometimes what we need to hear is that God will forgive us if we ask and that our spouse is willing to forgive us. I know that God didn't cause me to commit adulty, but He made sure that everything that happened afterwards came out to be in His glory! My husband and I are untied in a way that we never were before and that is because we come to our Father together now. Two are better that one! |
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Deb |
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March 18, 2008 at 3:33pm |
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Jenily, yep, I agree...something I didn't realize before, but I do now, and I am definitely committed...to my husband and my God.
Mike, I am in awe that you have a "marriage enrichment small group". I think that is absolutely fantastic! I am sure, based on some of the difficulties that some of my friends are having in their marriages, that you have your work cut out for you at times. But you can also offer a way to heal. God bless you Mike.
Melissa, from one lost person to another, I thank God that He found me and got me back on track. God will always make things come out to His glory!
Doyle, thank you, and God bless you as well! |
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| I think the key is commitment. Marriage is based on love the action...a commitment, not on emotion. Emotion follows the action of love. The commitment is first to God then your spouse. Another key (among Christians who have as high a divorce rate as the world) is simple obedience. God says "be filled with the Spirit". Spirit filled produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Also, God says to esteem others better than ourselves, wives submit to husbands as to the Lord, husbands love wives as Christ loved the church (sacrificially), and submit to one another in the fear of God. In marriage, or the Christian walk for that matter, selfless over selfish and humility over pride will steer you right every time! |
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| Great post Deb! A strong marriage is a blessing and, as you say, takes work to maintain. One of the keys for us is to pray together every day...not just at meals, but as a couple. |
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| Certainly prayer together voice_in. There is a statistic that confirms what we know from God's word regarding prayer. I stated earlier that divorce rate is same for Christian vs non-Christian. (I think 50%, but I forget actual percentages. I just remember the point) If couples prayer together however, that goes down to a much lower percentage (~25% maybe). Great point. And again that is obedience. |
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| Great post, Deb. I agree with all of what you said, but not just marriages being under attack, but the family unit. Satan wants to come in whatever door he can, but too bad for him, he already lost the battle. Christians just need to remember "that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." Eph. 6:12 We DO need to commit first to the Lord each day and put on our armor and keep our eyes on Him. A marriage doesn't take two, it takes three...husband, wife, and Jesus. "And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecc. 4:12 |
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Great blog Deb. This is a subject that has been heavy on my heart lately. One thing I have noticed over the years is the increased assualt on marriages by the enemy. One of the keys to setting these marriages in order is prayer. Therefore, I set myself in agreement with your prayer.
Dear Lord, so many within my church are hurting now in their marriages. The enemy has launched an attack upon our people, and we need You to help us fight this fight. Heal the hurts Lord, heal the hearts that have been broken, give peace, give understanding, give forgiveness. Help us to be strong to fight for our marriages and the sanctity of them, renew in our hearts the desire to be holy, to treat our spouses as if they are holy. Do not let the enemy have any slack Lord! Don't let him get a foot hold on marriage in our church. Don't let him destroy loving families. Some of these people that are hurting now Lord, are my friends, and I am hurting right along with them. I will not sit idly by and watch them self destruct. Please help me to be a positive force in their lives. Show me what I can do to help. Show others within our church how we can show support. Lord, bring us all together as one church to fight this fight. Amen. |
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Ed |
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March 19, 2008 at 9:19am |
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I've read recently that married couples are now the minority in America! What's up with that? I believe it's because Satan is allowed to run rampant in this world. He is convincing people that there is no need for commitment to each other, never mind to God. It's easy to say, "Well, this didn't work...let me try something (or someone) else."
AND...there is so much out there to turn our heads from a healthy lifestyle recognizing God as # 1. For instance what you mentioned (Porn), the attitude of "get all the gusto you can, you only live once" and "the grass is greener on the other side", single bars, and the list goes on. The problem we Christians have is that we are sometimes "conform...to the pattern of this world" rather than allowing God to transform our minds (Ro.12:2).
We ministers can preach on commitment every Sunday (some do!), but unless the people "offer (our) bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God..." there is no Spirit and no worship.
So, what do we do? No easy answer, but this I know: be a good and faithful servant...share your Jesus...example Jesus in your life...and serve Him by serving others.
Great post, Deb. It hits home on several points. Thanks.
--listen with holy ears and practice aners can |
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| Great post, Deb! Very important subject! Thanks for posting this. |
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Amen Deb ! COMMITMENT IS KEY ! GOD FIRST !!
THEN OTHERS !
Commitment will carry you through times when love feels weak.............. |
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Deb |
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March 19, 2008 at 2:41pm |
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Richard, You said a mouth full when you said "obedience"...I think a lot of people, and I include myself in this, we tend to think we will obey God if it fits into our schedule or our lifestyle. That is not what God intended. He wanted us to obey Him in all things. Out of that obedience comes commitment. And yes, praying together is a big thing. How many married couples actually pray together, do you think?
DC, Yep, I agree. Blessing before meals is important, but it is even more important to take everything within the marriage, and also things that have bothered us out in the world, to the Lord together.
Pastor Tim, this subject is heavy on my heart too, since so many of my friends are struggling with their marriages. The only thing we really can do is to pray for them, and that in itself is the best thing we can do.
Ed, I am working on another blog that will tie into this one, with treating our bodies as holy...like you said, to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. I think the reason that married couples are now a minority is because it is so easy to just live with someone. You don't have to make that commitment, so you can be less serious if problems arise, and you can just leave. Sad but true. I think some people go into marriage thinking "if it doesn't last, I can just get a divorce." They just aren't willing to deal with the problems that may arise in a marriage. Thanks for your comments. You brought up some good points.
Yahschild, thank you. This subject is near and dear to my heart.
Paul, I loved this...Commitment will carry you through times when love feels weak.............. Amen to that! |
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Steve |
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March 19, 2008 at 3:54pm |
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Gene |
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March 19, 2008 at 8:46pm |
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You preach it, Deb!
You are so right. It is a commitment and we need to remember that we have to honor that - not just because "God" was mentioned in there somewhere, But because it's the right thing to do.
Peace! |
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Deb |
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March 20, 2008 at 12:51pm |
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Steve, well said. We need to seek God's guidance. I truly don't think that He ever wants us to divorce, unless there is physical abuse and someone's life is in danger. That doesn't mean that it doesn't ever happen, but we should at least try to make the effort if both people involved want to try.
Steve, I see you share my feelings.
Gene, I don't presume to be a preacher...just someone who has been there and refuses to give up. |
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Deb |
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March 21, 2008 at 3:21pm |
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| restore, you are so right. satan is taking the opportunities that he has to destroy, and we are not standing up against him. I for one, won't let him have any power. |
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All I can say is WOW
Kanarian |
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Deb |
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March 21, 2008 at 3:35pm |
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| kanarian, thank you...at least I think that WOW is a good wow? lol |
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Sharon |
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July 24, 2008 at 7:44pm |
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| I believe what you have written absolutely. However, when a partner chooses to leave and we cannot stop them from leaving, it does leave us in a difficult position and creates difficulties for us among Christians in many ways that we cannot always control. My present husband and I have complete commitment for life, but there are those who feel we are living in adultery, even though neither of us wanted divorcen and though we do not live as "man and wife" but as loving companions. |
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Deb |
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July 25, 2008 at 1:10pm |
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| Sharon, I think that once we make that committment before God we should do whatever it takes to hold up our end. Whether you and your husband are man and wife, if you are married and living together, that is as it should be. A marriage is not all about sex... |
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