The next morning...

Her alarm went off at 6 am....she slowly pulled herself up off the living room floor where she has collapsed the night before and walk into her room to shut it off.

After stretching and yawning a little bit she plopped down on her bed.

"What day is it anyway..." she thought to herself.

Looking over at her calendar on the wall just above her desk by the window... she realized it was Tuesday.

She was still a college girl....she was still in bible college.

She dreaded going though...

"God, I don't want to have to face all those VICTORIOUS TALKIN, DEVIL STOMPIN believers."

She felt the sting of guilt for having such feelings towards her friends and those that loved her.

They all had tried to console her and be strong warriors for her and say nice things to her.

So many times the well intended words only pierced her heart worse.

"If I had only believed a little more... if I had only spoken more righteously about the situation maybe I wouldn't be here. I know that's what they must think about me." she told herself.

"Why can't they understand sometimes a hug is better than words?"

"Is there a little pride in your pain my dear?" asked the still small voice.

"Ouch." she grumbled...but she knew it was true.

"You can't blame me for hurting, I mean he was the love of my life...it's not like you can just let that go."

"No one is asking you to." said the voice.

She sat up in bed..."I'm a little crazy...the voices in my head actually understand and have conversations with me." she whispered to herself.

She got up went to her closet and started in with her daily routine.

Pick out an outfit that HE would have liked....put on the necklace that HE gave her then start in with her shower and so on.

"Eat at least a little something for breakfast." She told herself when she walked into the kitchen. It's what he always told her.

She picked up an old newspaper and some used tissues and threw them in the trash....which was starting to overflow.

She sighed again...."The trash was YOUR job Mr." she sternly grumbled.

She shook her head as she realized the mental warfare she was putting herself through.

"I've got to get out of here." she said.