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It had been quite at work that night until a co-worker came to me asking if I knew CPR. Steve the supervisor had clasped and was not breathing. When I made it to him I could tell that we were faced with a bad situation. A quick check of his vital signs confirmed my worst fear Steve’s heart had stopped. I immediately began CPR. It seemed as if time stopped as I struggled to breath life into Steve’s body. In between compressions I begged him to comeback from the brink of death. Then finally after what seemed like an eternity to me the paramedics arrived and took over trying to save Steve’s life. A crowd of people had gathered and began asking me if Steve was dead. To this day I don’t know what my answer was, but I know I wanted him to live so badly. It was not meant to be. Despite all the best efforts of everyone our brother passed on. When I heard the news, it felt as if a truck had hit me.
In the time that followed a near overwhelming sense of guilt invaded my spirit. I replayed the situation over and over in my mind. I asked questions like, Did I do the CPR right?, Did I get to him fast enough?, Could I have done more?. I thought maybe my faith wasn’t strong enough, after all Jesus brings people back to life by uttering a single word. I was plagued with sorrow. I did not know it at the time but the evil one used this guilt to try and gain a foothold into my spirit. After a great deal of time and prayer I realized that Steve’s death was a natural part of life and was in no way my fault. I also came to know that the evil one will try to use God’ natural plan and twist it, in an attempt to separate us from the Father. The following passage helped me in my acceptance.
14:14 We must all die, we are like water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; but God will not take away the life of him who devises means not to keep his banished one an outcast.
If you are carrying guilt around in your life because of a situation that did not go the way you wanted, I beg all of God’ children to let it go and give it over to the Father. Look inside your heart and realize you did the best you could, and if that’s true God knows it too. Guilt is a powerful tool used by the deceiver in an attempt to separate us from the Father. Trust God’ will.
From Patrick made whole by God, chosen to be an apostle of Jesus Christ.
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