Life for me after separation had now settled down with the passing months and I had made a new life which was pretty good. I still was working at my job at the dairy and had got to share God with people more than ever before. I would come home to my apartment and when I opened the door I could feel God hug me. I really liked that. God does take the things that are broken and uses them to bring healing. I was leading a youth group that had grown from 6 to about 25 and was having lots of fun with them. I had gotten used to my children being with me on the weekends but living alone through the week.

            Then one day at work an employee came into my office and told me that one of our co-workers had marital problems. He said that he was quite sure that the guys wife was in a relationship with another man and told we where etc. I was sick in the pit of my stomach as it seemed to reopen the wound in me that I thought was healed. I had just finished burying all those memories of wondering where she was, why she couldn’t say I love you anymore and all those feelings of rejection. What should I do with this information as I was his manager but this clearly wasn’t my business? This guy was close to me and watched God slowly put back the pieces of my life back together and now he was going to walk that road as well. I decided that I should go to that place to look around and see if there was truth to this story which I was sure hoping there wasn’t. I saw his wife there seemingly innocently picking up a few groceries. I said hello and walked around the store and then when I saw her again she was talking to this guy. I watched for a minute and then she saw me looking at her. I saw fear fill her face and then she abruptly turned from him and took off. His face even flushed so I knew that something wasn’t right. Back at work over the next week the rumor mill was buzzing so more and more people were aware of this as I heard new reports from other people now.

            I finally discussed the situation with a coworker of ours that cared for this guy and could be trusted. It was agreed that the best course of action was to tell this guy that he had trouble in the home. He agreed to come back in to work on a Friday night to tell him so he would be through his workweek and have a few days to deal with the shock.

Friday came and I had a chance to talk with him about my situation. I told him how much it hurt me to find out that my wife was unfaithful and that I had wondered if people were laughing at me for being so naïve. I said that God never restored the relationship between us but that if He said to go back with her I would have. I know that if He sent me back there it would have been the best because He is a restorer and I would again be happy with her. I said I do forgive her and that even now if he said go he was turning her heart and bring her home than I would receive her. He said that he understood (and probably was wondering why I was a bit emotional) and then I left him.

            Monday morning as I headed across the floor he spotted me and made a beeline for me. My plan was to smile and let on I knew nothing but it became apparent that plan wasn’t going to fly. He said “ You knew didn’t You? That’s why you were saying those things to me Friday. You were preparing me!” He was quite beside himself and was an emotional wreck as one might expect. Over the next few months he would be in my office spewing out his anger, disappointment, and frustration which I would totally relate to but it was like having to relive my stuff all over again. Sometimes I would have to find a private place to just cry. The neat thing through al of this was that I could share the goodness and mercy of God with him in his real situation rather that just getting the “ Get rid of her and find yourself a new person.” I got to be the contrary voice speaking life into his family. Who but God could make me that kind of vessel?  If not for Him I could not share any advice that wasn’t poison or tainted with my own pain. He had great highs and lows during that time but he did look at himself and say I was oblivious to her needs and was doing much of my own things. That was so key for me in my walk. God would correct me time and time again when we were processing all the stuff and say look at yourself only. It is so easy to say “ Well she did this, or she never did that, so I……” If you want to get healed there is no one else to point blame at, just you. One surprising thing that happened in that was that his wife called and was choked up on the phone and asked if I would help them. She told me how sorry she was for being so stupid but she didn’t want to lose him and the girls but she wanted her family restored. It was quite amazing as we had no relationship. She only knew me from what he would be telling her.

Like I said it hurt a lot walking down a road that I had been trying to put far behind me but I look back on it and smile. Does God have a plan for the Broken? It was worth it and I got to watch God do for another what He did for me. They were restored and all was really forgiven as it truly needs to be for it to work and I suppose they will live happily ever after. J