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| God WHY? |
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6:3 We put no obstacle in any one's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, 6:4 but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: through great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 6:5 beatings, imprisonments, tumults, labors, watching, hunger; 6:6 by purity, knowledge, forbearance, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love, 6:7 truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 6:8 in honor and dishonor, in ill repute and good repute. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 6:9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as punished, and yet not killed; 6:10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
God you know I try oh so hard. They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I just don't know how strong I can get Lord.
* When I am persecuted in my own home
* When I am the only parent in the home
* When I am so lonely I cling to the bible
* When once again, I don't know what to do and can't call anyone
* When I feel like I could just die from the heartache and pain
How much more suffering Lord do I or my child has to take? I can't handle it anymore, Lord. I just can't. Was I that bad of a person? Or do you have something more in mind for me.
O Lord, Almighty God, Holy is your name. Forever You will reign and reign. Let your Glory fall down on me. That is my plee. I just can't take it anymore
You say:
6:14 Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
But Lord..does this mean believers?
7:1 Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, and make holiness perfect in the fear of God.
Change me Lord, I just can't take it anymore. Please kill me from the inside out.
Selah |
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stu |
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March 30, 2008 at 9:38am |
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| Whoa...Becks, is that how you feel?....Stu. |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 9:40am |
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| Of Course Stu DIE TO SELF..... Why do I disrespect my husband when I should be silent. I am such a horrible wife. Why do I freak when a child makes a mistake? especially when those are the same mistakes I made..... |
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Mrs W |
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March 30, 2008 at 10:57am |
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Becky girl - God loves you - and we love you -- all this is fixable -- really - We are a Body-- and you are a part of that Body-- so you are a part of us -- and I don't know the exact way God will bring the Truth to you and help - but He will -- God hears our prayers -- yours and ours -- when the enemies of Life - take one of us on they take us all on -- that is why the internet can be used for the supernatural work of God - sure it is been used for evil - but look at what happens on here and all the other Christian sites etc. Even the MySpace and facebook -- so I know about Becky and care for her - you matter --- mostly to God and then to the rest of us - God loves your family soooo much-- they are NOT bigger than God. Keep standing - keep praying- keep reading -- keep loving your garden -- and garden with the First Garderner! Let's see what good God can bring today - it is not over! xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 10:58am |
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| I think God is telling me to shut up my big fat mouth!!! |
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Becky, today at church the "burden of the Lord" came upon me. I never know when this will happen, never know for who or what the tears and hurt comes. But I know that as Jesus went into the Garden of Gethsamane he asked some of those closest to watch and pray with Him as He seperated Himself for an agonizing time of prayer. But they, full from the Last Supper, tired from the many events since they had arrived triumphantly into Jerusalem earlier in the week, fell asleep. Several times he woke them up instructing them to pray, admonishing them that the flesh indeed is weak but the Spirit is strong. They kept falling asleep.
Sis, I wish I had answers. I don't. But in the place where prayers meet I have been watching and praying. You are not alone in this hour. Indeed, my flesh is weak. I do not know how to pray. I am tired. But the Spirit takes over when words fail me and all I have to offer up are my tears and my heart.
Becky, perhaps you may wish to revisit my last blog. I added some things to it today that may speak to you.
The wonderful teen years. Sometimes I think GOD gives us teens so we can understand how He feels when He has to deal with us. Scripture says children are a heritage from the Lord and blessed is the man whose quiver is full (of children). But it sure can be hard at times on the stay-at-home mom who deals with the drama, attitudes, and growing pains as teens make the transition from child to adult as painful as they can for parents (sometimes). Sometimes we have our hands full dealing with our own stuff. I don't know. But Jesus does.
In your hour of deepest need you are never alone. Jesus is there with you. And He still asks disciples to watch and pray as He enters the Garden of Gethsamane with one of His little ones.
.....peace..... |
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Sharon |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:06am |
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| Becky,I don't believe GOD thinks you have a big fat mouth and he sure doesn't want you to shut.It states in the bible to speak aloud what you want and to praise him with your mouth.But words can be like swords if you need help you speak it.GOD loves you sweetie and there is nothing HE can't do if you speak. |
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Mrs W |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:07am |
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If we lived closer - and I saw you often - even tho I am not a redneck - I would like you -- you would make me laugh I am sure -- Be blessed |
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Mrs W |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:11am |
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Wait - I like Star Trek --and you know -- I started gardening last year more seriously-- Stupid rabbits ate me begonias! Do you have lamb's ears there? OMG they are gorgeous - Esther took pictures of them -- of course she takes good pictures of everything -- xoxoxoxo |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:11am |
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apureheart - you always have me in tears. We have been to the same places, the same persecutions. I know Jesus is there, even when I don't think I can go another day without sleep, he is all I can cling to. Now I gotta wipe those tears and go read your blog. Better get some kleenex. You understand without knowing it at all. I pray for you Gordan, it will be over soon.
Sharon - when it comes to disrespecting my husband I do need to shut up. If it is not out of love and from the bible that diahrea shouldn't even be said. Sometimes the words I say are really hurtful and not Christlike, but I never mean them. I just can't think in the Word of God quickly enough to say the right ones. |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:17am |
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Mrs W - don't you know I already love you like a momma. Mine is gone you know, and some of you ladies out here are the only Proverbs 31 women I know. I have always loved to garden wait till I take my picures. Yeah stupid rabbits make me want to go out and get a pellet gun. OH SNAP, I have a paintball gun. COOL. I can't wait to see some spotted bunnies in my neighborhood.
Love you |
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Mrs W |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:25am |
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Ok, if you can paintball them -- I can do something to them --- I don't call them "bunnies" like my kids do -- they are plant eating vermin-- and what is up with tulips and those guys anyway? I can't wait to see your pictures --Mine garden is so pathetic yet - but if the Lord willing I can add some more plants -- I got the ones that look like balls on a stick - they are cool -- xoxoxoxox |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:28am |
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Shoot yea sister why can't we have tazer, or phazer guns and just get the rascals. I know they love strawberries too, then the stinkin squirrels can shimmy up corn. OH I love Allium... my grandma used to grow those...course my brother and I would sneak across the pasture and hide from mean ole smokey horse and get into her strawberry patch...
thanks for the memories Mrs W
Pure heart (Gordan) Your blog teaches and teaches and teaches. Thanks for being a blessing today. |
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Mrs W |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:35am |
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Thanks for the giggles today Becky--- now I have them ---- we won't even talk about SQUIRRELS -- You ministered happiness to me in the middle of your "deal" -- you have alot to give! Local Headlines - Pastor's wife gets arrested for "tazering" the local wildlife - and laughing about it!" |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:41am |
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| blah ha ha ha ha ha... Love it. REDNECK WOMAN ARRESTED |
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Hey Becky!
Remember, it's progress, not perfection. The same God who calls us to act like him realizes it's a process. He also realizes we can't do it on our own, and He's available with all the power we don't have.
Like Solomon said, there's nothing new under the sun. Don't look down on yourself. You're no different than the rest of us mixed up Christ seekers =D |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 11:49am |
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JessIam Thanks brother. It is sometimes REALLY hard to hold that tongue in, you know us women, we love to talk and talk and talk and talk... and when it is not of the spirit then we stink like pooh. Lord knows I have too much pooh with Luke Skywalker... no really he is a good dog. Gave him ice cream for the first time today, thought he was going to shiver to death. Do dogs get brain freeze? |
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"... when it is not of the spirit then we stink like pooh"
I'm not sure we stink. Our actions can, but no one stinks in Jesus! |
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Deb |
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March 30, 2008 at 12:13pm |
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| Pray Becky, pray for guidance and wisdom, and He will give it to you. I will keep you lifted up in prayer as well. |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 12:19pm |
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JessIam- I stink when I am supposed to be a woman of God and a teacher to kids.
Deb - Thanks I too am praying for you. |
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| I needed this today.....and all the comments that followed as well. Thank you. |
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Becky |
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March 30, 2008 at 12:32pm |
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| Robin from one sista chick to another... we all need a little pain and laughter just so we can feel alive. |
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Scotty |
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March 30, 2008 at 2:20pm |
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Hey Becky. God completly understands what you are going through, honestly you have made it ths far. Now you are at the point where you can no longer take it. Then somewhere deep in your Spirit amazing grace comes through. You realize "Ok, maybe I can take more." You have not given up yet and that is encouraging. Hang in there Sister I'm praying to God with you in mind. God will answer our prayers and he will Deliver you. Amen When I am weak God is Strong and His Mercy does endure us through all situations no matter how bad it seems. Refuse to give up and claim the promises of God, because while we are still alive we still have hope here on Earth in all things and not just Salvation but for every single situation we go through. Thank You Lord Amen |
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Jen |
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March 30, 2008 at 4:56pm |
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| Lifting you in prayer. Love ya, sis! |
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Gene |
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March 30, 2008 at 5:52pm |
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| Love ya, Becks! |
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Hey there sis,
Interesting that I read this right after watching the movie Amazing Grace. John Newton is shown as struggling with the spectre of the slaves who he had carried to their death and/or internment. I am actually encouraged that you struggle with the realities of your weakness. I think that true honest before God allows those things to be healed. I think, like Newtons portrayal that we all should struggle with those areas of our sin and/or weakness. For myself, I know that when I find myself calloused to my sin, that's when I know I am in real danger. It's then that I ask God to break the stone that my heart has become. It's then when the Holy Spirit really comes in and cleans house. Keep up the good fight, keep struggling! Don't ever give in to giving up! Your kids don't need a perfect mom, they need a real mom, warts (so to speak) and all.
I love your heart and will keep on praying for you and your family ! |
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Becky |
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March 31, 2008 at 8:59am |
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Scotty - Yeah I know I know...God only gives to you what He knows you can handle...just so He can streeeeeeetttttttch your mind and your faith. Thanks
Jen & Gene Thanks Jen Love you too.
Dennis It is always nice to hear from you. Yeah I am calloused I am bruised, but I always call out to Him and know He is near. Sometimes I just don't know how those things come out of my mouth. Guess the HS is doing some spring cleaning on me now. I am trying to keep up the GOOD fight, and not fall to the evil fight. I am a mom with warts and all. Thanks for the prayers. I will continue to pray for your family as well. |
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Becky, you don't stink. Actions maybe, but you don't. That's one of the biggest things that's helped me in recovery, and it's BIblical.
If anyone is in Christ, she's a new creation, period. She's not just a new creation until she sins. |
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Becky |
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March 31, 2008 at 7:55pm |
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| Thanks Jess. Much appreciated. |
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