| Her Nightmare Chapter 6 |
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Another day...the sun was shinning, grass was green, it was spring. For everyone except her. "At what point does he occupy my mind so much that I go mad?" She thought to herself. "Will I ever go back to normal...am I doomed to a life of this sickening emptiness? When is thinking of him so much unhealthy..." *sigh* "Why does he have to be gone anyway?"
Her mind went back to a young girl in her youth group years ago...she was a cutter. She could remember thinking to herself, "What drives her to self mutilation? What's the root of that pain?"
Suddenly the thought came to her..."NO!" she shook her head violently. "I will not go there!"
This moment did open her eyes to a better understanding of why that young girl years ago cut herself. "How painfully sad to have to lower yourself to that humiliating level to get some relief from your pain." She thought, as her heart dropped remembering that girl. "I wonder where she is, today, I wonder if anything I ever told her...if any prayer I ever prayed for her ever helped her?"
She was sitting on a park bench listening to the birds sing and trying to feel something....anything. "God, do you really think I can bear this? Do you really think I can come out of this fire singing a new song to glorify You? My heart feels crucified daily and sometimes hourly...I feel like I can't even talk to You."
"You do an awful lot of talking for someone who thinks No One's listening." Said that still small Voice. |
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