I'm sitting up tonight, worried about things related to jobs and former employers and finances.  I was just getting ready to 'hit the sack' and I got a bloody nose.  Now, I've gotten 'nose bleeds' for almost as long as I can remember..I even had surgery to try to stop them.  They just happen sometimes...and sometimes they can last a while...a 30 minute one is the norm...but they've gone a few hours on a few occasions.

I've gotten good at what works and what doesn't.  First off, stressing over them doesn't help.  But try telling that to a 4 year old kid, which is what I was when I remember having my first one - it won't happen!

Secondly, the whole 'tilting your head back' just makes you swallow it all, and that's just gross.  I found that it's best to let nature take it's course and things to slow and clot and keep your head level.  

So, where I am I going with this fairly gross blog? 

There's something bleeding, affecting my daily life.  I don't know how long it's going to last, how it might change, and where it might take me.  As a kid, my fear was always that they'd last so long that I'd have to go and get my nose packed at the emergency room.  That fear made things worse - it caused me to stress, caused my blood pressure to rise, and added to the problem.  In all those years I only had one trip to the hospital, yet I thought of the 'what-ifs' enough to make things worse.

Secondly, tilting your head back and just swallowing the problem is doubly-bad...because it makes you unable to function (it's hard to work looking at a ceiling) and you keep swallowing the 'problem'.

So, as I sit here writing this and thinking of my walk with the Lord, and how far He's taken me - from no salvation to having a Savior...I can't help but think of the problems that I've swallowed, tilted my head back to avoid, and stressed over. 

Did it help?  No.  Did it make things worse?  Sometimes.  Did it affect the way I addressed the next problem in my life - the next bleeding thing that needed attention?  Yep.

So, I sit here, as I get ready to go to bed, hoping the nosebleed is done. I pray that I've learned and truly accepted something:  that my sins are forgiven and removed from me...that they are not HELD against me and aren't stacked against me as collateral or 'judgement' for God to hear or not hear my cries.  Coming from my background (see my last blog) - that's something I am working through.

My problems and trials in this life are like a bloody nose - not life threatening, and really, just annoying more than anything.  But, like any type of bleeding, if you bleed too much, you'll die.

I pray tonight for all the people 'bleeding' out there in the world, some less, some more than me.  I pray that we may level their heads, have their eyes fixed on the Lord, and trust that He will see them through, in the time He has appointed. 

The bleeding is only temporary.