Her cell phone rang... Hello...? Hey girl how's it goin....? Hi Pastor, things are good, ya know up and down at times but pretty good. Well, good I haven't heard from you in a while and I wanted to just see how you were doing... I see you come in church long enough for service and leave before I even finish the prayer for the altar call. *shy* Well, yeah...I'm sorry you know how it is I just have a hard time being around so many people at one time ya know? Yeah I understand...well, I know you've been through a lot and you haven't had a chance to really keep up with the keyboard and stuff but, I have a youth rally and need a jazzy keyboard player and some back up vocals. Would you consider just trying out at practice once? Without even thinking about it "Sure...when?" Tomorrow night at 7 for practice.... Oh, okay at the youth building? Yeah, is that okay? uh, well, sure.. Okay great Thanks! I appreciate you stepping out and being a blessing even with everything going on right now. Be blessed I'll see ya tomorrow night. Okay, bye.
......................
WHAT DID I JUST DO??? She thought to herself panicking about her sudden decision. "I can't play for a youth rally...those kids know me and they'll hug me and say stuff. I shouldn't have said yes to practice. Typical Pastor...you say yes, or I'll try, he signs you up for the main show faster then lightning." Shaking her head. She started having thoughts about the old days. She loved this youth pastor...he brought out her gifts and talents more then any other pastor had before. Anything he ever asked of her, she gave 110% . She admired him and his family. "I only said yes, because I always said yes, to him but....I can't do this! I'll just call him back..." She waited for Pastor to answer... Yo, yo, this Pastor Mac leave a message and I will return your call ASAP. *Beep* Total silence... She hung up after a few seconds. I can't really tell him no either. He's always good to me and he understands if I can't do this right now... I'm just not ready. And how many kings in the old testament sat on their thrones because they weren't ready for a war that was taking place on their turf? asked the still small voice. Ya, know for a merciful God, you're awfully straight forward. You're God....why not send someone else? The harvest is plenty but, the laborers are few... and I do believe I called YOU specially. Fine, but, this is it...I'm doing this then, I'm coming home after the music is done back here to my..... To your hiding place? asked the voice. My refuge, thank you very much....she answered sarcastically. Oh, my mistake...I thought you sang the words..."You oh, lord are my tower, my refuge, my strength." Feeling convicted enough, she turned on her T.V. to distract herself from the heart check she was long overdue for. She knew she had gone from hurt to bitter and that if she didn't repent before the rally, God would only be able to work IN SPITE of her attitude not because of it. All her Bible school teaching on this matter repeated itself in her mind seemingly louder than the volume of her tv. "I know this is a DUH moment God, but...you would make me walk through a fire that would make me actually use and live out the things I've learned in Bible College?" Well, I would hate to waste all the great education on an easy life. She laughed on the inside. He still made her laugh even when she wasn't the best kid. She picked up her bible turned on her living room lamp and settled in for a good read. |
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