A Personality Skit

Leona: (Looking at watch) Okay, we are here to talk about our personalities. I'm Leona Lion. This is Ortha Otter. That's Brenda Beaver. And finally, we have Glenda Golden Retriever. You have one minute, Ortha!

Ortha: Hi, everybody! I'm Ortha Otter. My main goal in life is to have fun! We try to squeeze fun out of every situation. We don't plan anything because that takes the fun right out of everything. People living with us . . . do have some problems. First, we are always the life of the party and the center of attention . . . whether they want us to be or not. Because we think, everything we have . . . the whole world wants to know about it. Our stories are better, more fabulous than any other story. So we take a little boring story and add lots of neat stuff to it. Now you may consider that lying, but it isn't. It is just improving your life! We also are very curious people. We always want to know what everyone else is doing.

Leona: TEN seconds!

Ortha: What?! I hate to keep up with time. I just won't wear a watch. My husband bought me one, but I don't wear it!

Leona: Time, Ortha!

Ortha: OK . . . I love a microphone.

Leona: We'll never stay on schedule this way!

Ortha: But they're gonna make me quit . . . so . . . well, have a good time, OK?

Leona: (hands watch to Brenda) Would you time me, please? I'm Leona Lion, and as you can see, I always like to be in control. I have the strongest of the personalities. Some of you might have heard of some of these traits: Type A, possibly workaholic, sometimes obsessive, compulsive, born leader. I try to control myself and others. My strengths are that I am very result and task oriented. I have a one track mind which can lead me to be bossy, and demanding sometimes. I am a planner . . . a mental planner that is . . . I don't often write things down on paper, but I keep track of them in my mind so when I start a task, I have already worked it out in my mind how it will go. My way is the right way! I am practical and logical which can lead me to being very critical of others, if I don't see the logic in the way someone else approaches things.

Ortha: She is very critical of me!

Leona: And you can see why! I am very productive. I am always in continuous motion. I make work out of leisure. And I never have any time to rest because, well, that isn't work. I persevere . . .

Ortha: That's not fun!

Leona: Brenda, it's your turn. Ten minutes.

Brenda: Hello, I'm Brenda Beaver. We beaver personalities like to be organized and do things perfectly. We are introspective, and we put everything in its place and label it. We are neat and orderly. So we have color coordinated wardrobes. Everything must be perfect. We have calendars where we write everything that is going to be done. And then we check it off when it is done. WE have coupons. This is my coupon box. It is organized according to not just cereals, but Kellogg cereals, Post cereals . . .

Ortha: (squirming) This is too much! (she whispers loudly)

Brenda: General Mills . . . and each section is according to day of expiration.

Ortha: You know I had coupons once, but I couldn't remember which purse I put them in! And then they were two years old.

Brenda: Excuse me! Leona said it was my turn. When it comes to Bible study, we beavers have different Bibles for different things.

Leona: (blows a whistle) Time's up!

Brenda: I'm not done!

Ortha: She made me stop!

Brenda: I have to get done, because beavers have to finish! This is my devotional Bible. It is the Daily Bible in chronological order. 365 daily readings, and it must be done every day. I will finish the Bible in one year. Then, this is my study Bible. It has the concordance in the back, and a handy place for notes, and thumb index to help you find the right book. And then I have all of my other Bibles.

Leona: Hurry up!

Brenda: (cuts her eyes but keeps going). My topical Bibles (rushing), and dictionaries, and Bible handbook. Now a lot of people ask me . . .

Ortha: (still talking about how long she is taking in the background)

Brenda: I am the leader of the Victors' group, and I am also counselor for people who are in pain. And so, people often ask me, why I do this kind of work and don't I get tired of it. And I say, I'm a beaver, so I understand pain. My motto is . . . Anything worth doing, is worth doing perfectly.

Leona: OK, Glenda . . .

Glenda: That is difficult. Do we really have to be up here in front of all these people . . . I don't really feel like it.

Leona: Yes, hurry up!

Glenda: Well, hello, my name is Glenda Golden Retriever. I'm a Golden Retriever personality. We Golden Retrievers shy away from crowds. We fear rejection, you know. So we prefer smaller groups, where we can feel secure. Ortha has A LOT of friends. I have just a few, but they are deep friendships and I'm very loyal to my friends. Golden Retrievers tend to be very easy going and mellow kind of people. We like to relax, you know. We like to have fun by relaxing. Sometimes decisions are very difficult for us. But I like to think that it is because we see both sides. Which do you think it is? It's hard for us or we...

Leona: There is only one side to any issue!

Glenda: We can be very easily distracted, so sometimes our tasks are left unfinished. But if we are interested, we really can focus very well.

Leona: Get to the point!

Glenda: I am!

Leona: Time's almost up.

Ortha: My turn yet?

Leona: No, you had your turn. Let the others speak!

Glenda: When we are interested, we can tune out the things around us completely. I mean to the frustration of our spouses. I mean things like kids, housework, jobs that need doing can go unnoticed because we are focused on finishing what we are trying to do. We, uh, like to take the easy way, which is often the quickest way. Golden Retrievers are the peace makers. We always try to avoid conflict, if at all possible. . .

Leona: I'm sorry, times up, we have to move on now.

Glenda: OK, that's fine.

Leona: Now that we have briefly described each of the personality types, we are going to take a common occurrence, taking a vacation, and each of us are going to describe the scene from our personality type. Ortha Otter, one minute.

Ortha: One minute! Geeze! When it's vacation time in our house, my husband ponders over a map for months deciding where we are going, and what we're going to do. I really could care less, just so he promises me at the end of it that something fun would happen. I always have travel games, and if not, we play ABC games on the road. Just anything to keep everybody happy. As for getting ready for the trip, that's easy. The first thing I pack is the games, of course, and then I plan the food. Well, I don't actually plan menus, because after all, that's not fun! So I go to the store, and guess what I buy? Snack food and lots of treats so that while we're doing things, we can bring out these fun foods and eat them. And then my husband has to promise me that if we see something fun along the way, we will stop. I am very curious, you know, so it doesn't matter about a plan.

Leona: Did you ever get there?

Ortha: Yes, well, I guess so. Because my husband is a Golden Retriever, he just lets me do what I want, and that's great! The other thing I do is, I pack a duffel bag. . .

Leona: (blows a whistle) Sorry . . . I've let you run on too long already.

Ortha: (going right on as if not hearing Leona) and so I would put this duffel bag in each one of the kids' rooms. And I say, here's your duffel bag, now you put in it what you will need on the trip. What you pack you have. We've done that since they were very little, and that's the way it went. If they didn't pack a jacket, they just didn't have one.

Brenda: Can you believe that, what a mother!

Glenda: Well, Brenda, I can understand where she's coming from on that!

Brenda: Didn't it hurt their feelings if you didn't help them pack?

Ortha: No, well I didn't really think about that! I don't know. So that's how we did it.

Leona: Cut . . . that's it.

Ortha: Oh, and there's something else.

Leona: No way! That's it!

Ortha: I have to just say that being rejected by people is really painful for us otters. We like having people like us. It really is important to us.

Leona: Sit down, Ortha!

Ortha: And so . . .

Leona: I like you just fine. Just sit down!

Ortha: So even if you aren't enjoying this, be sure to tell me you are, because it is really important to me!

Leona: Well, now that Ortha has wasted all my time . . .

Ortha: Don't you see the smiles on all these people's faces?

Leona: Yes, I know, but I'm in charge here and you need to listen to me! Now let's proceed. As a Lion personality, I plan our vacations in my mind. Then I make a list and delegate to my husband and children their part of the responsibilities. My responsibility is to decide what is our purpose in taking this vacation. If we are going to a national park, I make sure that we see everything that is beautiful. If we're going on a historical vacation, I make sure we see every tourist sight in every historical monument, and learn everything that we can about it while we are there. We use every cent we have available, and we make sure we spend it all well. If you get sick, well I'm sorry, we move on. If it's rainy, that's OK, we go to Disney World in the rain. We don't stop along the way when traveling by car, unless it's on the schedule. Bathrooms, drinks, as scheduled. Any changes in plans have to be cleared through me because I am in charge. WE are going to have fun. But we are going to do it MY WAY! Brenda, tell us how beaver personalities plan vacations.

Brenda: Planning a vacation is very serious business. Because if it goes wrong, it is all my fault. It doesn't matter who else is involved, or what happens. It is MY fault. So it must be done correctly. The problem is that I can't really depend on my own judgment, because I may be wrong. So I get out the travel section of the Free Lance-Star and I see where other people have gone on their vacations and surely that is a good idea. Once we zero in on a state, then I go to the Automobile Club office and get a book on that state. I read every single page of every article, every picture caption. Then I zero in on the area of the state we are going to and get a map. I mark with a highlighter the entire trip. Every single stop must be marked with a yellow marker.

Ortha: Brenda, this is really scary!

Brenda: (cuts her eyes, keeps going) Now I do set impossible goals for ourselves and then when we don't meet those goals I feel really guilty because I ruined it for everybody else. So, I have to be sure that every stop is marked, so we don't miss anything. Then, when we pick out the city we're going to, I pick out the hotels that are listed in the back of the book, and get a brochure. Because if the hotel is not pretty, I won't stay there. It has to be pretty. Because I like pretty. Then I write to all the sights we are going to see. I write . . . not call, because that costs money, but if they have an 800 number then I call. I get a list of all the tours--the 10:00 tour, the 1:00 tour, the 5:00 tour, and I make sure that I book the one that has the prettiest view of that time of day.

Ortha: Why don't you just go and see!

Brenda: NO, NO, NO. You book everything in advance because if you don't, you might miss something, then you have this guilt. "If-only-I-had-booked-it" thing to deal with. Then I start shopping because I have to be sure that the film I buy is on sale, and the socks I wear are on sale, and I don't buy anything unless it is a bargain. Then, when all of that is done . . . it's time to design the chart. This chart has numerous columns--first the date, then transportation, then driving.

Ortha: This is so boring, are you almost through?

Brenda: But it is so organized! Lodging is the next column. Be sure and list the phone numbers you will need. Then I allocate the amount of time we're going to give to each stop. Of course, you have to figure in driving time. Then, I total up our expenses, what did we pay for meals, lodging, gas, miles per gallon.

Leona: Ten seconds.

Brenda: And the last one is your coupon column. You keep track of everything you saved, because you feel so worthy that you have saved some money on this trip.

Ortha: You know, I use money on our trip too, but when it's gone, then we are through.

Brenda: Well, as far as the money is concerned, when we're all done, I make up an expense report because that is what is withdrawn from the vacation savings fund.

Ortha: I don't have a savings fund, Brenda.

Leona: Glenda, your turn now.

Glenda: Golden Retrievers, don't take a lot of vacations . . . we talk a lot about it but we never seem to get around to it. This year through, we did manage a vacation. I must have a little beaver in me, because we did bring a map and we did make reservations at some lodgings and sights. We had ten days to take the vacation, and I couldn't decide exactly where to go. So we chose three different camp sights. I wanted one of each kind, so I would know what kind we wanted for next time. We had one at the beach, and one at the lake, and one in the mountains. I know that doesn't add up to ten days, but I wanted a couple of extra days, in case we decided to do something that I didn't know about yet. When I get ready for a vacation, I tend to pack everything, because you never know what you might need or want after you get there. Funny, my husband packs the car, and always forgets to load a lot of my stuff! Once we got to our first camp sight this year, a storm came up during the night, so everything we had put out on the line to dry, didn't. But, that didn't really bother me, I figured there were lots of fun things we could do inside the tent with the kids. My husband didn't agree.

Brenda: If you had planned a little more carefully, none of these things would have happened. You realize that . . .

Glenda: Well, I meant to plan it all out. I just never got around to it.

Ortha: It's more fun not to plan anyway!

Glenda: So my husband went to a hotel to nap and dry off, and I went to a laundro-mat to wash and dry everything.

Leona: Was that in your schedule?

Glenda: No, but I met the neatest people while I was there, and I would have missed meeting them if it weren't for this side trip. I think that might have been my favorite part of the trip. I'm not sure. I can't decide.