Our pastor's sermon was derived from Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining or arguing."  At the end of the sermon we were encouraged to commit to this by receiving a non-complaint bracelet [of course I ran to get mine 'cause I'm not much of a complainer!]

Well, it's only been a couple of days and I'm already struggling with this [I have learned to take my covenants with God seriously].  Not that I can't stop complaining out right, but masking how I complain.  As a former addict I became very good at manipulation, rationalization, and many other forms of head games, not only with others, but within my own mind.  Through working the 4th step of The Program, my awareness has been hieghtened, and I am watchful of my character defects.  So I avoid certain words that identify with a complaint, such as "I don't like....", etc.  Instead I disguise it as teasing or something else along those lines - you know how it goes I say something that offends the person then, when they become indignant, I reply that "I was only joking!"  This aspect, of relating to others, is easier to correct than the battle within.

Another character defect of my dysfunctional upbringing is anger.  I have made great improvements in this area PRAISE THE LORD with the help of Christian and secular counselors.  We had discovered that part of my problem was not addressing the issues that bothered me, basicaly - complaining [I refused to be a complainer, a nag, or what ever you wanted to call it], and that I could only supress so much until I blew up in anger.  So, inlies my predicament, how do I live up to my covenant within the Word, and still vent annoyances so that I'm not entering the cycle of anger by supression?

I have learned to practice what Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:18 "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit,..." I expect that this is why I'm turning to my Christian siblings for advise or at least the second half of that verse "...being watchful to this end with all perserverance and supplication for all the saints" 

Thank you for listening,

Bro Dennis