| What If Bill Gates Were A Redneck? |
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If Bill Gates was a Redneck named Billy Bob Gates....
* Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
* Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with duct Tape and a Hefty Bag
* Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
* Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
* The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
* Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Sweet Home Alabama
* PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
* Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
* Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
* Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
* New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
* Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
* Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
* Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
* Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
* Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
* Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
* Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
* Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
* Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? it's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back?
* Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad |
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