>> >>A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates. >> >>St. Peter says, 'Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, >>depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.' >> >>'Okay,' the man says, 'I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.' >> >>'That's wonderful,' says St.Peter, 'that's worth three points!' >> >>'Three points?' he says. 'Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.' >> >>'Terrific!' says St.Peter. 'That's certainly worth a point.' >> >>'One point!?!!' >> >>'I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.' >> >>'Fantastic, that's good for two more points,' he says. >> >>'Two points!?!! 'Exasperated, the man cries. 'At this rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God.' >> >>'Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!' >> >>We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. >> >>God did it with a nail. |