>>

>>A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.

>>

>>St. Peter says, 'Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me  all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item,

>>depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.'

>>

>>'Okay,' the man says, 'I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.'

>>

>>'That's wonderful,' says St.Peter, 'that's worth three points!'

>>

>>'Three points?' he says. 'Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.'

>>

>>'Terrific!' says St.Peter. 'That's certainly worth a point.'

>>

>>'One point!?!!'

>>

>>'I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.'

>>

>>'Fantastic, that's good for two more points,' he says.

>>

>>'Two points!?!! 'Exasperated, the man cries. 'At this rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God.'

>>

>>'Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!'

>>

>>We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape.

>>

>>God did it with a nail.