Sometimes I hear my kids bickering, and I quietly listen in, to see if I need to intervein, or if they might handle it themselves in a way that I would approve. We all want to believe we are raising our children right, but there are times when I see that I must get involved because mean words get exchanged, or a physical altercation happens.  

If I were standing in the room when the problem began, my children would handle the situation as they know I would expect them too. When I am not right there however.... they may allow their emotions to control their conduct. I sit here and wonder why? why do they do that? Why do children behave differently when a parent is with them versus when a parent is not with them?

My pondering of this was abruptly cut short, as the Lord asked me the same question.
 "Tammy , why do YOU  sometimes act differently in Church, or with your saved friends, than you do at work, or with your unsaved friends?

Ouch!

Without always realizing it, I guess I do act differently. I know I am happier and  over all content when I am spending time with my church friends, or when I am in Church or in my small group, but sometimes at work, if a dirty joke is told, it is just easier to laugh along, and keep to myself rather than show my obviouse dislike, and reveal that I am different. Why Lord? What in the world am I afraid of? I could care less for the approval of those who dont know Jesus.

But, Isnt my God raising me to behave better than that? I am acting like such an imature christian when I dont stand 100% behind what I know is right ALL the time.

It is not a matter of who will see me acting a certain way, it is a matter of who sees my heart all the time? GOD does, only HE does. What measure of inconsistency am I showing HIM  when I allow my behavior to conform to the company I have at the time? This was just another revalation that I am truly thankful that my father has pointed out about me. Part of me is ashamed to admit this, but then, I realize the Lord led me to mychurch so I could voice my imperfections publically and receive prayer from my truest friends. Baby Steps. I am still on an long journey to become more like my Jesus. I realize I am human, but that is no excuse.

I appreciate every shortcoming revealed to me. I know that the fact my God has opened my eyes to it, means He is still molding me, and that is a good thing. If my imperfections are not plain,If I were not broken most of the time, I would not see what needs to be  fixed. Thank you Father, for showing me another area that really needs your attention. I am humbled and ready for you to continue to take me from broken to beautiful.