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| Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty |
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Many lies swarm us through this world and the media. You must be rail thin...have 'cigarette legs'...if any area is not toned-up then you are fat...your size is based off of the clothing run-way models...
Anorexia and Bulimia are rapid in a variety of cultures. Also, food portions and eating patterns and habits are out of control.
Many women inavertantly teach their daughters to dress in a inappropriate manner and thus a cycle continues.
Many women find their self-worth in:
*A man
*Compliments
*How tight-fitting or low-cut or short clothing
*Styles
*Hair and Make-up
God says for us to be modest and not have our value in outer-ware or jewelry. Can a woman be beautiful? Most definitely YES! She is suppose to be! How then? That is in the eye of the beholder...some things are just not okay...clothing that is too low, too tight, too thin, or too short are inappropriate....however the rest is in the eye of the person. Some women or youth like a ballcap and shorts, some like long-flowing shirts and long-hair. Are either person wrong? Nope!
Find your beauty and self-worth in Christ first, then your style will develop around that and who God created you to be.
The above is a wonderful book and I recommend it. It speaks of dressing, wisdom, hair, make-up, all the way to art pieces. A woman is an art form...not to be lusted after, but to be cherished for her style, grace, and inner-beauty. Each woman on the Earth was created in the image of God and He said...Well Done! Each woman is Beautiful and the Apple of God's eye! |
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Deb |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:18pm |
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| Amen Cheryl! I have struggled against the enemy's lies, and I have a poor self image...I see all my flaws, but not everyone can see them. God can and still thinks I am beautiful! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:23pm |
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| I have a list of flaws and think from past abuse and some scars left on my body that a future with a husband would be out of the question. Then God reminds me that He is in control of these things. |
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AMEN! :)
But we still need to remember that we are free. Even modesty can be taken to the limits of legalism. |
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| I just read "Captivating".......another good read on this subject :) |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:30pm |
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Debora, so true...as stated in Proverbs 31:22
"...She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth."
In some translations the finest cloth is refered to as cloth of Purple. The color purple is a color of Royalty showing the finest material of her time. She is to stay in the style of her time or her personality as God created her. This includes hair, make-up etc. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:31pm |
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| Cindy, I love Captivating! Didn't get to read all of it...will someday! |
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Cher, this blog relates well with what I (re-)posted about innocence. Our hyper-sexualized culture is forcing little girls to grow up so fast, and exploiting their looks at the same time. Despicable!! My girls live a relatively stress-free life, b/c they are clueless about the sexual demands society seeks to place on them. That's the way I want it to remain, until they are at least.......40? lol
Ok, perhaps I'll let em free sooner than that. At least when they're mature enough to handle what gets thrown at em, as opposed to allowing that stuff to hit em while they're still kids!
Good point -- the beauty of women is to be appreciated, not lusted after...ugh
STAR!!! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:40pm |
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| Thanks Mike, so true! my daughter too...she knows whats in the world, but we talk about it. She is in the world but not of it! |
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Great Blog Cheryl, I have struggled with my weight for years, and you know why? My ex husband told me several times that he wished I looked the way I did in high school when we first met. Even years later,and re-married, those words sometimes triggered a loss in my self-esteem, but thankfully, God reminded me that my body is a temple of God, regardless of its flaws. I am happy with me for that reason, and trust me its enough. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:51pm |
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| No woman will look the same...God created us to grow from being a youth into woman hood by several characteristics. That also differentiates women from young ladies. If a male wants or desires a young lady look then it is possible their are some other things going on in his head that are dangerous. Steer clear of him. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:53pm |
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| Thank you beautiful women of God! |
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Cheryl, My advice to you is to find a housetop to shout this from !
But then again, this avenue will reach more ears !!!
You Go Girl ! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:54pm |
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Paul!!! Thank you brother!!!!!! |
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Trukki |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:56pm |
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| Thanks Cheryl. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 12:57pm |
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| Thanks brother! |
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Awesome blog Cheryl. Thanks for sharing. And Deb, God doesn't see your flaws 4:7 You are all fair, my love; there is no flaw in you. God sees us through Jesus so in His eyes, we are perfectly lovely. This is a hard concept for all women in our society but one we need to be continually reminded of to protect us against the lies of the enemy. Maureen |
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I was reading a post apodemeo put out last light, it really is neat how the Lord puts all this together, with these different posts. He wrote "Love frees us to become a slave, for there is nothing more enslaving than Love". When we are His slaves, we learn to be more like Him, in all that we do and even how we appear to the world, in our mannerisms and in our dress. It is not just the women that should pray about their appearance being too close to the worlds standards, but us men too.
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The more I pray, the more I care for my outer appearance. I mean, I don't sit infront of the mirror for hours, but I mean I don't just do my make up, but may add sparkles, some body spray, and do my hair differently than normal. Or paint my nails. I believe we are to take care of our outward bodies, working with what God gave us. Sorry, but it doesn't glorify God when His ppl are slobbed out all the time, with unkempt hair and clothing, looking like they survived a few dozen windstorms. lol OK, you get my point. I imagine some Christians would say my jeans are too tight, but you find me a pair that don't make me look like a literal clown that aren't snug in certain places due to my shape! However, they aren't painted on. I can breathe when I wear them. lol A good test of modesty, ladies: lift your arms up. Is tummy peeking out? bend down. Can someone see more than they should? Crouch. Do you have a draft on your back? Sounds silly, but I don't feel very comfortable when I have to be careful picking stuff up or moving this way or that. I like to be comfy, and I am not overly dainty, so I have to be extra careful. You do see it in church. I see it in mine. The thing is, don't think evil of the person. We all have different levels of discernment. I will tell you a wonderful thing to do if it bothers you that badly: Way back before I met my husband, he went to this church where this woman who loved the Lord A LOT happened to wear things that were lower and just showed a bit too much curve. Due to my husband's fight with lust, he prayed and prayed for the Lord to show her what she was wearing could cause ppl to sin, and after a month or two, all of the sudden, she started dressing more carefully! He didn't have to say a word, except to Abba Daddy. Chances are, if that person loves Jesus, prayer will handle the situation, where their heart is in tune to His voice. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 1:13pm |
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Maureen, so true and wonderful!
The Song of Songs or Song of Solomon is a book in the Bible that describes the sexual relationship in such detail and with such affirmation. Society has cheapened this and we as women must not give into the lies. A Godly man wants a fun and enjoyable wife, but not a worldly woman. Beauty is in the inside. Sure there is a out-side connection and men are visual, but its the heart and life of the woman he is looking for as a life-companion. Her Inner-beauty is rarer than rubies to his eye. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 1:14pm |
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Gary, how awesome! What a blessing brother...thank you for the addition. |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 1:18pm |
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Lara, thank you! The things you mentioned are also outlined in this book...how cool!
I also have dealt with the issue you mentioned...not a easy one...God did show that person also. I have befriended some and later God showed me what to say...never in judgement though. |
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| How often we forget that beauty comes from within. I remember telling my teen-age daughter once that she was a beautiful girl, but her attitude was making her ugly. She did outgrow her attitude and has since grown into a lovely young woman inside and out! |
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| How often we forget that beauty comes from within. I remember telling my teen-age daughter once that she was a beautiful girl, but her attitude was making her ugly. She did outgrow her attitude and has since grown into a lovely young woman inside and out! |
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| I have found that the strongest source of a womans beauty, and then her modesty, comes from how we as Dad's speak into our daughters life. If we believe them, not just say, but believe them, to be beautiful, they believe they are beautiful. My daughters are all beautiful, but they needed me to say it, over and over. In fact I see the same thing in all the women I know, men need to understand their beauty, if you believe a woman to not be beautiful, then she feels that/ Women can somehow sense when we men are putting on a show, so we have to have, not just compiments, but conviction. Add to that, they are created in His image and likeness, well do I need to say more? By seeing their beauty we express our confidence in His creation and action in their lives! Man, I could go for hours on this, I am a believer! God has made you all so wonderful and amazing! In the words of Adam WOO man!!! |
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hehe...sorry, I got carried away......you do understand I am a die hard romantic, if only I had a white charger to carry me into battle, and a damsel to rescue...I would then be happy...sigh.... |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 2:54pm |
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| Shirley, so true...beauty is from within! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 2:56pm |
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| Dennis!!! I love it!! What you said is completely true! Thank you brother! |
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| Hey. Love it Cheryl. "Find your beauty and self-worth in Christ first, then your style will develop around that and who God created you to be." So true. We all need to hear this and it must be taught to our sons and daughters. Christ is the ONLY way to self-worth, the ONLY way we should be validated. Christ really is the way! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 3:27pm |
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Doyle, thank you brother! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 3:28pm |
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Chrissy, So true lady! John 14;6 Jesus is THE WAY...THE TRUTH...and THE LIFE!
Following God's Word in modesty is the way...truth...and it leads to life! |
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TiNa93 |
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April 28, 2008 at 3:48pm |
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| ya i know wat your talking about : ) good word |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 3:49pm |
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| Tina!!! Love ya lady, thanks! |
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BHEK |
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April 28, 2008 at 4:19pm |
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And you strike at the core of every Father's delima. How do I get these beautiful pure minds to embrace modesty and their beauty simultaneously. How to celebrate how GOD has created them without fear, shame or danger while protecting them from the carnal nature of man and the demons of low self-esteem and relative thinking. I will share this book with my wife. For now we are just happy that they know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate clothing and behavior. Thank you for the recommendation.
Bhek |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 4:21pm |
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| Bhek, thank you brother,,,there are many resources in her line of books that deal with children and low self-esteem. |
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| Cheryl...great post and very thought-provoking! I have a teenage daughter now but she is still very much a "little girl" in her mind. I hope she stays that way forever! LOL But her self-image and personal appearance, I know, will be a point of concern for her sooner or later. I pray that my wife and I are ready for that day!!!!! |
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Cheryl |
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April 28, 2008 at 4:23pm |
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Charlie, I hear ya...so true!
Will be praying also for the many youth already mentioned on here. |
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That's a great book. I have it and it's a great reminder that your beauty isn't always found on the outside, it's what's inside that counts!
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| AWESOM BLOG, didn;t get to read the book |
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I L Ve this, Cheryl! Yesterday, I was getting ready for church. The bathroom was steamy and I was experiencing hot flash upon hot flash. My hair was doin' a limp number and I really wanted to look ok cuz, I was becoming a member of the church that I have been attending. I said, "Lord, help me out here, pLeAsE!" And either He helped me out or let all the mirrors work for me!! Anyway, this all may be silly but, God is so good and He answered another of my prayers today, so I am very lifted up and Praising Him!!! Another cool story... A few weeks ago I was feeling very small, insignificant and rejected! I remember thinking no one loves me but Jesus does! I came home from work and my husband gave me a journey necklace and with tears in his eyes and trembling lip told me that he was glad that we are sharing our journey! A few weeks before that, I felt rejected by my children, as if I don't matter as much as their father, and out of the blue, for no occassion I receive a card from my oldest son with a personal note of how much I mean to him! Even after these wonderful gifts I continue to struggle with self-worth but He is even answering prayers that I haven't asked for!! How awesome is that! GoD'S, PeAcE aNd LoVe |
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| First off I want to say I like what you put together Cheryl. I wish every young lady could read this and not only read this but also except Jesus and his way. Ladies there is a lot of good things said here and I think all of you are trying to say the same thing only just a little diff. I think you all are concerned with what impression you set when you step out before the world and I am proud of all of you for your stand. Keep your eyes upon Jesus and not on the world.When you put Jesus first in your life you can not go wrong.God bless all. Your brother in Christ Jesus Robert Olson Sr. |
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| amazon has them for $2.71 (used) |
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Great post Cheryl! Gonna have to get this book!
Thanks for sharing it. Would probably have never known about it otherwise.
Much love! |
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Ed777 |
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April 28, 2008 at 10:13pm |
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Hi Cheryl, Thankls will ask my wife to read the book although I am not sure its available here in India :) |
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I know what you mean Cheryl in what you have written, but I zone in on one of your comments about scars and a future husband.
I personally have 17 scars on my body - all made by a surgeon's knife. One scar is about 12 inches long on my stomach, and I know from personal experience how off-putting they are to the opposite sex. The thing I'm trying to get across is, do you think it would be off-putting for a man to see your scars - in other words your personal opinion, or do you know it would be off-putting for a man to see your scars from an actual experience? Personally speaking, whatever gender a person is, they should accept you for who you are, not what you got. Because if they accept you for who you are - they accept what you got.
Believe me Cheryl, I could give you a l-o-n-g list of off-putting things to add to that statement about scars, but only one reason that they would accept it. Guess what that one reason is? I'll give you a hint. Its who you are, your personality and the way you hold your head up high despite the things you've been through without any bitterness. You help people, you encourage people, an inspiration to others - and a doer of things by the organisations you're attached to. You put all that together, if a man doesn't love all that (because he sees your passion and the reasons behind it) then he's as blind as a bat!. Scars run deeper than skin deep if you get my meaning. I know the reasons behind my scars like you do, and if in your case - a man can't accept it, then he's not worth having in the first place. Don't stick yourself on hold because of what somebody else did, OK? |
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Debbie |
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April 29, 2008 at 1:47pm |
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Awesome blog Cheryl!!!  d. |
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| I have to agree with 'gone roaming', the man God sends to you will look past the scars and only see you. The man God sent me looked way past the skin grafting scars all over my belly, back and legs.. those scars helped sew my right arm back together and the grafting that covers it. My man wasn't interested in any of that. So what if I'll never wear a bikini, got other things we can do. This July we will celebrate 49 years of marriage. |
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| I agree whole heartedly... |
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Cathy |
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May 01, 2008 at 6:20am |
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| Thanks Cheryl! Great blog, but it did bring back memories of a nick-name I was given in high school. Q-Tip legs !!!!! At the time, my knee caps stuck out more than my thighs !!!! LOL !! |
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| Thank you guys! Haven't been able to keep up individually;however, I love all the comments! I'm on a borrowed computer now....will have mine up and running soon. To God be the glory! |
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Hi Cheryl, thaanks for writting about women, it's great keep it up my friend. Coz i think you will bring some disense in the ladies. This is wonderful. Moses |
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Joey |
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May 03, 2008 at 11:32am |
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Another wonderful blog!
These days, modesty is something of lost art. My husband and I were discussing how differently young women dress now when they pregnant than they did in the old days when I carried my daughters. I loved those wearing those maternity dresses and jumpers.... and the long flowing gowns. sigh....
My eldest was not modest growing up, despite my efforts, nor was she modest when she was pregnant; she didn't like the clothes and didn't want to spend money for clothes that would be worn for a short period of time. Now, that Jack is getting older, she is becoming more modest. |
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Joey |
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May 03, 2008 at 11:32am |
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Another wonderful blog!
These days, modesty is something of lost art. My husband and I were discussing how differently young women dress now when they pregnant than they did in the old days when I carried my daughters. I loved those wearing those maternity dresses and jumpers.... and the long flowing gowns. sigh....
My eldest was not modest growing up, despite my efforts, nor was she modest when she was pregnant; she didn't like the clothes and didn't want to spend money for clothes that would be worn for a short period of time. Now, that Jack is getting older, she is becoming more modest. |
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John |
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June 05, 2008 at 5:06pm |
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| I am sorry that women are still beating themselves up for not being skinny enough. I have seen shows that you can see the bones of the women and they still think they are fat. It is a shame as women need to be happy with themselves first and then they will find some one that will make them even happier. If you go into a relationship expecting the man to meet all your needs you will be sadly mistaken. |
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