Last week I was visiting a MyChurch profile page and was captured by a beautiful arrangement of perhaps my all-time favorite hymn, I Surrender All. This song has its own room in my heart, where it both convicts me and brings me peace every time I hear it. I added the song to my own playlist and continued to worship with it for the next few days, thinking it had been a long time since I had heard it in church. Then on Sunday, there it was. Our hymn of commitment. Providence. I have been singing and contemplating its words all week, as I have done during many periods of my life.
I was a freshman in college, living in the dorm, room 218. I had been a Christian all my life, but the young adult years were a real challenge to me, filled with conflict between God's call on my life and trying to find my way in the culture around me. I fell often and fought within myself constantly. One day I was sitting on the windowsill of my dorm room, dangling my legs outside, crying and talking to God. I was never one to contemplate suicide, but I was at a point of not caring about living. I told God it would be OK with me if He pushed me out the window. As I cried and prayed, I heard the Voice I had heard many times before, speaking to me clearly: "If you don't want your life, may I have it?"
In that moment, I understood for the first time what it meant to "die to self." I understood for the first time Galatians 2:20 which I had memorized some years earlier:
2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
I understood on a new level what Judson W. Van Deventer must have felt when he wrote the words "I Surrender All." That day on the windowsill I wept. It was an easy yes, as I didn't feel like I had much to give, but every few years God brings me that same conviction, not from a low point in life, but from any point. Every few years, as my life evolves, He re-invites me to surrender all.
It's almost haunting. Surrender all. Everything. Pride. Convenience. Preference. Rest. Opinions. Schedules. Commitments. Comfort. What if we really gave our lives 100% to God to use every second however He chooses? What if we could? Could we?
The world has yet to see what God will do with a man who is fully and wholly consecrated to the Holy Spirit.
The world has yet to see. Except for the life of Jesus, it has never been done. What a challenge! What an awesome possibility!
In later years I have come to understand that dying to self is not just about dying to sin, but about dying to all our plans, good and bad, that keep us from being available when the Spirit calls us. Dying to self means there is nothing on my schedule that is more important than whatever the Spirit wants me to do right now. My life is not my own. I am bought with a price. I belong to the One who gave His life for me. I desire in turn to give my life for Him, not in death, but as a living sacrifice. The world has yet to see . . . Why not now? Why not me? Why not you?
Worship and pray with me:
Lord Jesus, it is my desire to surrender fully to You. Fill me with Your Love and Power, that everyone I encounter today will be touched by You. I will ever love and trust You, knowing that if you are Lord of my life, it doesn't make any sense to worry about logistics. Let me feel the Holy Spirit. I want to live daily in Your presence. I desire to be wholly Yours. Take me, Jesus, and teach me to surrender all. Empty me of myself that I may be wholly used by You. Amen.
6:20 you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
All to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live. Powerful words. I rejoice with you in what you have found, and echo your sentiment with a loud AMEN!
How hard it is to surrender all during the good times in our lives, but not in the hard. My prayer is that He will teach me to surrender during ALL times!
I like the point you made that dying to self is not just dying to sin but to what keeps us from serving our God. That is perhaps the thing I pray about most. Sometimes not having choices is a good thing; not being able to choose the things of the world. Great lesson Kathy.
"It's almost haunting. Surrender all. Everything. Pride. Convenience. Preference. Rest. Opinions. Schedules. Commitments. Comfort. " wow that is actually tough to think about. I know we often say it and I too love to sing it, but the reality is it is often so difficult to truly live it. Thanks for the call to live it. peace
This is an absolutely beautiful message Kathy! If only we could surrender all...all we can do is keep trying, as we grow closer and closer to the Lord.
"It's almost haunting. Surrender all. Everything. Pride. Convenience. Preference. Rest. Opinions. Schedules. Commitments. Comfort. " Like Glenn, your words haunt me.... all, everything, pride......here I am setting in a comfortable chair, trading thoughts on the Internet, for free, and eating food that's fresh and reasonably healthy. Gas prices are a bit high, but all my friends with children are looking at healthy active kids. My parents are wonderfully healthy, at 76, and I am going to vote in a free primary.I don't like any of the choices, they're still choices, and I have the right and privilege to complain. But then I find myself complaining to God about life......not as much lately, but I still find myself selfish and unsatisfied. Funny enough I really don't think it's His problem! Kathy, thanks a lot ( he says with a bit of sarcasm) now I have to go back and do some more repenting, man, at least I'm getting really good at it.....hehe..
I went through the blog and was taken back to my days in school and college. I know I was there in the same situation. I can relate to this story. Thanks for making me to commit my life once more to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. An unconditional surrender......
I like that old hymn too. And I think that anytime its sung that there should be a few minutes of silence for reading, in order for each of the congregation to determine whether he or she should sing it. Same with other committment hymns and songs.
Testimony in which I used that hymn for an alter call: In April 1989, I was the first outside speaker of the Teen Challenge like "Barrios for Jesus" in Albuquerque, New Mexico.It was founded by Pastor Dan who was rescued by a Teen Challenge house in Texas I thing.He tried to get pastors and others to speak to the men and women he was helping, but none wanted to.I had nothing prepared to speak about, but the Holy Spirit did.He had me read Bible verses and passages about Christian consecration after my introduction.Most of the men looked Mexican and were getting to come there instead of more jail time.I told them that I had some Spanish blood in me and that all of us had prisons in our lives even from God.I ended up speaking for over an hour.They all looked so hungry for God's Word.At the end, I told them to respond as the Holy Spirit urged while I read Jonathan Edwards' statement about his consecration to God and the words of "I Surrender All".Almost immediately about ten men came to the altar area, knelt, and some of them cried.Others got out of their chairs and knelt beside them.I ministered to a few of the ones who came forward.Later we got into a circle and prayed.The phrase "Upward and Onward" came to me.Hot Jobs came up with it later.If I wasn't in a ministry at that time, I would have wanted to stay there.Later, I did live in Albuquerque for 6 years, but that ministry had closed down.After the meeting, Pastor Dan took my wife and I for a snack and asked me if I knew who I was speaking to there.I told him "no".He told me that they were all gang members, drug users, and some of them were murderers.I told him that I had never had such a wonderful experience before and I had no fears just wonderful peace and excitement (especially about the facial expressions of spiritual hunger and agreement with the Word of God).
Dennis, I'm right there with you! Thanks for your comment!
Thank you for commenting, Ragland. Our stories are rarely as unique as we think, once we begin to share them! God bless you!
Bill, thank you for sharing your testimony of this hymn! The Holy Spirit can reach all kinds of people!
Amen, Michael!
JLee, thank you for your comment. That line is my own translation of what I heard from God. As I have lamely tried to explain to others, God doesn't speak to me in words, but He sometimes speaks just as clearly as if it were words, almost like I am hearing it, just not through my ears. But it's a message He sends to me, not words. Not through my 5 senses. I know we all hear from God in different ways. Through reading His Word, through other Christians, some say they hear an audible voice . . . When God speaks to me this clearly, there are no burning bushes, no signs and wonders, and no words. Yet His voice and message are unmistakeable.
For another story of when God spoke to me in this manner, see this blog. It would be interesting to hear the many ways God has spoken to each of us here.
Kathy, just so you know...the message about dying to self is going through the body right now just as you said it...not always talking about dying to sin, but setting aside our schedules, our priorities, and letting God work.
Thanks for sharing the impact of the song on your life, too. We tend to forget how powerful songs are. To you, it seems it was one of the rocks you picked up as you were crossing your Jordan. We all need them to remember where God has brought us. Makes me realize how grateful I am for where he has brought me and how far I have yet to go.
Thank you, Voice! Your first paragraph is exactly what this blog is about: "dying to self . . .not always talking about dying to sin, but setting aside our schedules, our priorities, and letting God work." And I love your image of this song being one of my stones. You are so right!
I think for each and everyone of us it will be a continual effort to surrender, but the joy that comes from this is that our Father never gives up on us and continually reminds us that he desires our all and best in everything we do.
Thank you Father for never, ever giving up on me..
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