3:3 Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God." 3:4 Nicode'mus said to him, "How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?" 3:5 Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 3:7 Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born anew.' 3:8 The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit."
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
"In My Life" by The Beatles
Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Which way the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye
"Kite" by U2
"Jenny, I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time." "Forrest Gump"
Last night I saw much of "Forrest Gump" on TV. I've seen the movie a couple of times before. The theme of "destiny vs. accident" is dealt with from a number of angles, and it is symbolized at the beginning and end of the movie by a feather floating on the wind over great distances.
Over the years, there have been a number of significant changes in my life. My mother died, I got married, I settled in CA, I'm about to finish my PhD after many years of struggling with it. Some of these things were due to my choices, and some of them were imposed upon me. I've had to say a lot of goodbyes, and I know that I will have to say a lot more. Some of these goodbyes were ones that I chose, and others were not by my choice. Was all of this destiny or accident?
Lesley and I are scheduled to go to a wedding this Saturday for one of my best friends from high school. He for awhile stayed in IL while I came to CA (he's now in CA), so we've only seen each other a handful of times over the years. Around last Christmas, I thought to email him to wish him a Merry Christmas, and that's when he told me about his wedding (we hadn't spoken in about 4-5 years). So, I am excited to see him, to meet his bride and to see some of my other best friends from my pre-college days. But, there is also a sense of melancholy about the years that have past and the distance that has grown between me and them. The song "In My Life" was one key song that I chose for mine and Lesley's wedding years ago (for the reception; we had 4 hymns during the actual service), and it has only grown in significance for me since then given the various things that I've been through.
Lesley and I also are scheduled to go to TX to see my grandparents (my mom's parents) in a little over a week. We set the trip for then, even though I won't quite be done with my PhD, since her work schedule should best permit it then. The plan was to bring my thesis to my grandparents in as best a shape as possible, since my grandfather asked me to explain it to him personally (an obvious ploy to get me to visit him again after we visited last Thanksgiving, but one that I was happy to go along with). He hasn't been doing well health-wise over the last few years, and I wanted to see him again since it's not clear how much more time we both have in this life. Well, today I found out that he's back in the hospital with a number of issues being dealt with, including the fact that he went into cardiac arrest at one point today. I talked with my relatives who filled me in on the details, and I actually was able to talk with him on the phone briefly. We told each other that we loved each other, I told him that I was praying for him and he told me to take care of myself. It was hard to understand each other between his oxygen mask and my tears, but at least we communicated the important things. I don't know, though, whether the trip next week will go as planned or not. I do know that he has a strong Christian faith: it was one of the means that God used to reach my mother, then my father, then me, etc.
Life is full of changes---full of surprises. I won't get into whatever else of significance is on my mind (there is yet more), but sometimes I feel like I'm floating around, sometimes I feel like I'm being blown around by storms and sometimes I feel full of purpose and destiny. Often times God's ways are mysterious to me: 11:33 O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! But, He has made it clear that He has reconciled all things to Himself through the cross (Colossians 1:19-20) and is working all things for good for us (Romans 8:28). So, even when everything---even God's work---feels "accidental-like on a breeze," we have "a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf..." (Hebrews 6:19-20). We have been brought into God's kingdom by His Spirit, and if the Spirit moves us to say certain goodbyes for now, we have hope that not all of those goodbyes are for forever. 24:31 and he will send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. Update: I got the word tonight. My grandfather is dead. 7:29 I mean, brethren, the appointed time has grown very short; from now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 7:30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 7:31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the form of this world is passing away. I will grieve, but not as one without hope. 4:13 But we would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 4:14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 4:15 For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. 4:16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the archangel's call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first; 4:17 then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord. 4:18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.  |
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