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| May 5, 2008 and a confession |
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Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: 2 slices of whole grain toast w/ 2 T almond butter & a banana
Lunch: salad w/ 2 oz lowfat cheese, 5 calamata olives, & 1 T dressing and 1 c. blueberries w/ 1/2 c. lowfat milk, stevia, & vanilla, 2 chocolate chip cookies
Dinner: 4 oz chipolte chicken, & broccoli
Snacks: popcorn w/ 1 1/2 T butter, about a cup of ice cream, orange cranberry scone, Ritter chocolate bar w/ almonds, and a date nut whole grain scone.
Exercise: I walked two miles.
I overate yesterday by all the things in red. Everyone of them a sugar based product. No excuses. I have to examine myself and I see that I was upset with my husband and turned to eating to stuff my feelings and take revenge. My husband is a great guy, a godly man who makes mistakes sometimes. I got frustrated and hurt by something that was not really a big deal and made it a big deal to me. Thus the eating began. I did not do what I know to do, which is go to God with my hurt, talk to Him about it, and read His word to calm my soul. I did not do what was the most important---FORGIVE--I cherished my little offense because "my feelings were hurt and he should apologize". I ate to take revenge, but who ended up disgusted and alone--me. I ate to avoid how I was feeling, but who ended up hurt and alone--me. What a foolish choice from someone who knows better. We all do these things--a dog returning to its vomit--turn to other things at times we should be turning to God, hold onto offenses when we should forgive. Who do we end up hurting? Ourselves. Who did I end up hurting? MYSELF!
So what to do from here? Well, first off I repent, forgive my husband and ask God to forgive me for holding bitterness against him. Then I pray about the situation that caused the hurt. Then I LISTEN for God's response by waiting on Him quietly to hear what the Holy Spirit will say to me. Finally I will read His word to comfort and encourage me and to confirm what the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart.
I am so grateful for mychurch because I am pushed to be transparent at times I would like to hide. In the past a day like this would have sent me back into the eating disordered behavior for an extended period of time because I would hide what I was feeling. The accountability I have here by posting my food helps to keep me honest with myself and others-- a tough thing for any addict--food, drugs, sex, tv, alcohol, shopping, whatever. Staying honest is the key. 5:16 Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
This is the foundational scripture for my walk free from bulimia and compulsive overeating. Confess your faults--you have to acknowledge you have them in order to do that. Look where effectual prayer comes from--confessing you faults and praying for each other. I want to pray effectually and I want others to pray effectually for me. So I gotta keep it real. Love you all! And thanks for reading and praying for me!! |
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Coreena,
That you so much for your faithfulness to God, your confession has made me come to grips with some things in my life. God always has a way of bringing our sins to the surface and sometimes he uses the confession of others to get his other children in line. Thank you so much and I pray that all continues to go well for you and your family. God bless you, and again thank you soooooo much! |
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Mrs W |
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May 06, 2008 at 4:39am |
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| I found out when you hide anything it gives it power - the hiding "feeds" it --- we just need to be careful who we "unhide" it to---------- |
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| Coreena, I appreciate your transparency! Last week I was feelin low and stopped on the way home from work to buy a half gal of ice cream. I grabbed a spoon from the supermarket salad bar and proceeded to start eating it in my car in the parking lot! So yes, I know the power of eating when you're hurting. God bless you for getting right before God, before your friends here. (Ok, I repent too!!) ~mike |
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Robin |
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May 06, 2008 at 5:45am |
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Oh My Friend,
It is a big step for me to post this here and not a private message. What you wrote..could have been blog about this weekend as well. How we allow situations to get to us and affect us so much. Brian and I also had 2 disagreements over the weekend. Both were over little things...however I allowed them to be big. So I turned to what is easy...food. Along with the other stresser of my daughter and that whole situation. I ate chocolate on Saturday (yup the king size). and on Sunday..it was Wendy's complete with a frosty, Monday was M&M's.
I have done the same thing you have done to examine myself, repent and change. I have determined to turn and walk away from this with new determination to stay the course. I pray for you as I know you do for me.
Love You!!! |
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| I'll happily pray for you. I'm glad with Drugs, Liquor and Smokes, and Pornography none of these things do I have to try and deal with in moderation to live. I appreciate every-ones transparency. Although we could stop beating ourselves up sometime in the near future. Who are we to complain about another man's servant and we all belong to Christ. |
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