I've done a lot of thinking, talking, and praying lately, and I'm trying to decide whether or not I should continue with this betrothal process.  I do want to continue…  It helps me focus on God and what He wants me to do, but I don't know if this is the right process for me.  I've recently realized how difficult this is, and noticed all the kinks in my plan, so I don't know if this is what I should be doing…

Not dating for the past three years has really changed my life.  I've been more focused on God, my work, and my future.  It's kept me from getting into a lot of trouble, and it has saved me from a lot of heartache…  But I can't help but feel that something is missing.

There are so many reasons why I want to start dating again.  I miss going on dates.  I want to be apart of a relationship where you care about each other in a way that is special.  I want/need the experience of being in a mature relationship to help me get an idea of what marriage would be like.  I want to feel loved.  (Plus, it's REALLY hard to find a guy who might be okay with betrothal.  lol)

I'm not saying I've given up on betrothal…  I'm just thinking about changing my plans.  Maybe I will start dating when my internship ends…  Or maybe after New Years…  Or I could wait until I turn 20.  Whatever I decide I have to make sure it's God's will.  I'm afraid this might be Satan's way of getting to me, but I'm gonna be strong and listen for God's instructions.