JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed,
for challenging permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours,
which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required,
including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless
sports tournaments in far away cities.
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

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RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs Five Dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a professional athelete and be able
to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
just in case, (this time) the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face overly stimulating
technical challenges such as small gadget repair, and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of several multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages
and mental outlooks. Must be willing to
be indispensable one minute, an humble the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best,
but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability
for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities "may" also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the premise.

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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain
in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you, and pass down what they have learned to their own!

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.

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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18
because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

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BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays
and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities
for personal growth and free hugs for life
if you play your cards right.


GOD BLESS MOTHER'S!

LYRICS FOR BOY'S TO MEN, "A SONG FOR MAMA" 

You taught me everything
And everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah
There isn't anything
Or anyone that I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You will always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Chorus:
Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul
Yes it is (5x)

You're always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

Chorus

Never gonna go a day without you
Fills me up just thinking of you
I'll never go a day without my mama
Chorus

Yes you are