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| On Cohabitation and dorms |
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OK,
So, as a father, and as a Christian, I've struggled with my childrens views on cohabitation. I am firmly agianst it, in or out of dorms. When Voice brought it up on a recent blog I was concerned with what I read, then there was a blog on Boundless about the same article. I was very shocked at many of the responses. Here were young, well educated Christians, many who seemed like professionals, and they were not only un-concerned, but even encouraged the practice. I will tell you that I will always tell my kids they are wrong to do this, and will never believe it's the right thing, but we need to get through to our young men and women! I also think Boundless needs to continue to find ways to be a beacon to these young men and women, I am aware that it is not their idea of normallity. Anyway, I thought you all might like to see that this was a much more timely topic than we might have thought.
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Rosie |
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May 12, 2008 at 2:29am |
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| I'm with ya Dennis...It is something i find gut wrenching and totally brings me to my knees.. |
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| Dennis...absolutely! I would be shocked if those calling themselves "Christian" actually see this practice as a good idea on moral grounds. |
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| Being a young Christian woman who DID cohabit with my then-fiance, I can honestly say, that you CAN cohabit in a Christian manner... meaning, sleeping in different bedrooms, respecting boundaries that are PRE-set, and working on team work. Sometimes, when your family is 1200 miles away, you have no friends where you are because you moved to be closer, it's your only option to make ends meet. I'm not agreeing, I'm not disagreeing. I'm just sharing my POV. I've done it. No lines were crossed. Not everyone is that mature to handle a situation like that, but we were. |
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Kris |
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May 12, 2008 at 8:14am |
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| I'm with "Mike n Laura" on this one. Even if one is able to stay pure, which I still have qualms about, it's not a good idea b/c of the message one is sending to the neighbors. Those co-habitating might be staying pure, but I'm sure the neighbors are going to gossip just as much. As Christians, I don't think this speaks very highly of our character. The Bible says to be as wise as serpents, and I think one of those ways is to not put yourself in a position where one's neighbors have room to gossip about one's reputation. |
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5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
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The only problem with taking this point of view (abstain from all evil) to the extreme is that the devil is the master of making so many innocent things appear as evil, that Christians can all just end up isolated and completely alone and cut off. It's happened to me many times. Oh, you can't ever be seen talking with another man. What if someone thinks this or that. What if those two girls are really gay? Oh, what if, what if?
I have had lots of very untrue gossip spread about me. Excuse me, but in some respects I'm getting to the point that I don't care what anyone thinks about me! But then again, I do care about having Christ's character and displaying it. So, what are we to do?
Concerning co-habitation...I agree it is wrong. Still, we have to be careful about judging others. They may be innocent. What if it's a brother and sister living together? Or a father and daughter? That could be alright then, agree? Or that could also be bad, agree? Sometimes things that appear alright are not so right, and things that appear wrong are not so wrong. I'm really not trying to cause confusion...that is the devil's job...and THAT is my point! |
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I know what your saying Sandra, I will qualify my thougths by saying that this is specifically about coed dorms in particular. These are places that you do have a choice about who you're living with, and you are chosing to live in an innaproproate manner.
Amanda, I laud your ability to stay within the boundaries, but I think, for most, it really piuts a straing on those boundaries. Then, where do you put the line? I find that society wants to live like the exception is the norm. While you did a good job, very few would.
Mike and Kris, I don;t think there would be any question, that in a dorm situation, there would be no possibility of a positive witness in a coed room situation.
Rosie, I never was comfortable with the thought in the 70's when the lines became very grey about sharing rooms. |
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| I have been told that what Amanda describes is much more common these days than one would think. |
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Voice,
It's funny, I would never be seen as a prude, in fact for many I would probably be seen as way too liberal in many of these areas, but I will admit this one is difficult for me. I can tell that there is a higher acceptance level, among the younger generation, it shows strongly in the Boundless Blog. |
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| Sorry to get off topic, but I don't think I was that far off. My point is that these students are entering college coming from homes where their values have been shaped and formed. The devil works overtime to bring confusion so that our godly beliefs drift further and further towards ungodly beliefs. Certainly, there are situations that don't always seem to fit the "rules". Also, we must remember that God still loves sinners and not be judgmental in our attitudes towards them. If they are going to change, it's going to be from experiencing God's grace and mercy. Of course, then God will at some point require a change of belief, a change of values, a change of character, and a change of action. So, how do we raise God's standards high and not waiver from them, yet also realize humans, even Christians, are imperfect. Christians are in a continuous process of being transformed to Christ's image. I am learning that we need a balance of truth and grace. We must call sin for what it is...in this case the sin is not living together so much as the fact that living together sets you up for temptation to commit the sin of fornication. Fornication IS a sin. Living together may or may not LEAD to sin. So, we should encourage students to flee youthful lust. Also it is good to recommend abstaining from the appearance of evil. Yet we must also be alert to the enemy's plans and always use wisdom as we deal with individual cases. That is how I see it! I thank God for His spiritual gifts that help us in our daily lives!!! |
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OK, for all you parents...since I've never been a parent...
It really must be hard to raise godly children in an ungodly culture. There's just no way to completely protect kids from being influenced by the world. We all are born with a sinful nature. So, I'd be interested to hear what parents have to say... What do you think worked well for raising your kids? Do you think your kids would be worse if you hadn't done these things? What things didn't work? What do you wish you would have done differently? How important do you think it is to be with the kids in their first five years? I've always heard it's very important. Do you agree? So, now your kids are grown and considering co-ed dorm rooms. Well, I've heard most do go through their prodigal phases. Do you think that's what's going on? Or have they just been dulled by the influence of the world? I know, I think too much! But I would like to hear what you all have to say. Thanks! |
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