Bible Class Teacher: What is the most important command of all?

Evangelical Evie: Don't have sex unless you are married. That means no californication, no gay stuff, no shackin' up.

Catholic Cathy: The bread is Jesus, not just represents or symbolizes Jesus, but he said this is my body.

Pentecostal Pennelope: Tongues is the thang. You gots to do the tongues thang or you ain't been filled.

Orthodox Orville: You gotta do the ancient thing. Modern stuff is unorthodox.

Fundamentalist Fulbright: You gotta obey all the rules. They are all important.

Methodist Metcalf: Don't touch a drop of that demon alcohol or you're headed straight to hell.

Baptist Babette: You gotta be dunked. If you ain't dunked, you ain't obedient.

Anglican Angus: Apostolic succession is the key. If your preacher can't show her lineage, she ain't the real deal.

Teacher: What if I told you that love was the real deal?

Class: Love???????????? What liberal Commie pinko said that?

Teacher: Jesus.

Class: oh...