Okay, so I was writing notes back and forth with my new mychurch friend who reminds me of Job from the Bible and she told me about Theopostic Ministry which has really helped her immensely.  So, I googled it and found several sites about it and I learned that it is, "bringing God’s (Theo) light (phostic) to areas of our lives that are still in the darkness of wounds, lies, and misbeliefs." from http://www.encouraginghope.com/counseling/theopostic.htm.

It goes on to say, "True healing comes when our wounds are no longer triggering us back to places of pain that cause us to behave in unhealthy ways in the present. Without healing of past wounds, we tend to perpetuate the very thing we try to escape: repeating and experiencing the pain of the past." Basically, self-abuse.  This can range from negative feelings to physically causing harm to your body. 

The best part was the reiteration of, "The Lord Jesus desires to heal us and set us free from emotional injury. Theophostic Ministry is a powerful avenue to experience this healing. To learn more about Theophostic Ministries, go to their website at www.theophostic.com." 

I know God works in many ways and I have been blessed myself by prophetic prayer so if this is something that sparks your interest, please check it out.  I know nothing about the site other than I googled it and it sounded right. 

I know that God told me a long time ago that "it" was not my shame or burden to carry and that I was to give it to Him and I did and he took it away.  He gave me the freedom to talk about it with the pride of a survivor who lived to tell others about God's grace and healing and His special plans for each and every one of us.  We are survivors and we did not go through our tribulations in vain!  God wants us to share our stories of survival so we can give others hope. 

My prayer tonight, " God, I thank you for the light at the end of the tunnel, for caring enough for me to keep me here so I can be transparent and show others that when we go through hell, we are not a reflection of the crimes committed on us and to us, we are a reflection of your love, of your saving us so we can be the symbol of survival with compassion and grace, like you intended, like Job.  I thank you for the lessons, for the healing, for the stories I now get to share because I believed in you and you saved me!  I want to thank you for the blessings of pain and suffering because they taught me to be compassionate like Jesus and strong like Job.  I pray that you help others to learn this wonderful news because instead of them focusing on the pain and hate and suffering, they can focus on the hope that they will be giving others through their own personal stories of survival.  I love you Lord, I thank you for Loving me so much!  I don't always feel worthy of such magnificent love, but you continue to love and heal me, day by day, through good and bad, and I pray that I am a reflection of the love you have for me.  There are not enough tears of joy to show my gratefulness!  I love and rejoice in your love!  I lift up these words to you, Lord.  Amen!"