Sometimes I allow feelings of worry over many issues in my life take control of my emotions. When this happens, I have a pit in my stomach, my back aches, my eyes water with tears continuously, I cannot eat, I don't want to work, I am unresponsive to my husband, my children, and my co-workers,  and it would seem I have let the devourer defeat me. The worst part is I actually  find my self blaming God to some degree. Why did you let this happen Lord? Why do I have to carry these burdens Jesus, I thought you freed me of this? What have I done for you to leave me God?

My mychurch name is Tammy psalms 77_1. This is a scripture the Lord placed on me in one of the lowest points of my life.

When I was 17, I injested an entire bottle of Excedrin PM. As I gained contiouseness in an emergency room, with tubes all over me, and down my throat, my stomach  about to be pumped,a nurse forcing me to drink this thick black tar-like substance. I looked across the room and in a metal trash can, I could see my reflection. My eyes were black from blurred make-up and tears. My wrists and ankles were sore from being strapped to the bed. What in the world happened to get me there?

A man came in my room, a man I did not know. He was older, lots of gray hair. He wore a black hat, and a long black overcoat. He walked over to my side of the bed, and placed an open bible on the tray next to me, He closed his eyes and touched my forhead, I was terrified. He then took a pen, and underlined these verses in the bible, and he left. When I leaned over and looked at the verse I sobbed for about 1 week.

When I am feeling defeated, I reflect on that moment, and I just read His word for me, and  I remember that I am not defeated. He will never ever leave me. My God, My Jesus loves me enough to rescue me even when I dont feel His presence. Please dont lose sight of His Mercy and Grace, and Love. Sometimes I let that happen, and thankfully that verse always comes back to me, to remind me He always hears me and  He will never abandon me.