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| No time for neighbors |
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My job is hectic, my commute lengthy. My wife, home with kids, is a homeschool mom who is also ever busy with housework, shopping, gardening, etc. On top of all this, we have things going on virtually every night of the week—small group, youth group, church softball, men’s and ladies’ ministry, homeschool co-op leadership, men’s accountability, choir practice, prayer meeting, family worship and devotions, etc. The weekends are busy too, with home projects and yard work, family recreation time, plus more church related events (particularly on Sunday).
Oh, and whenever we see our neighbors outside as we leave for our church activities, we always make a point of smiling and waving as we drive away! (If only we could remember their names…) We would like to get to know them, but with all the things we're doing for God, we simply have no time for neighbors!
Sound familiar? I hope not! This is not a healthy lifestyle, nor does it seem like a particularly effective way to witness to the neighborhood!! Do we think our neighbors actually look at us as we come and go day after day, and say to themselves, “Boy, what an attractive lifestyle!” I doubt it! I also doubt that God desires any of us hit the trail to exhaustion, “for the Kingdom”.
We used to live in a subdivision where the houses were all identical and spaced 35 feet apart. From my front yard, I could throw a stone and hit any one of 12 different houses. Yet we barely knew any of our neighbors. I never did learn the names of people that lived beyond those right next door to us! And yes, ironically, at that time we were extremely “busy for the Lord,” as the scenario above used to be us.
But God, in grace, first convicted us, then moved us, giving us a fresh start. Now it brings me joy to report that not only do we know our new neighbors in almost every house we can see from ours, but we have relationships with them too! In fact, we spent this Memorial Day at a neighborhood gathering inspired by our recent joint efforts to contest local zoning changes!
Our change is the result of at least two intentions. One, we have deliberately reached out to our neighbors, looking for ways to get involved in their lives! This has included being interested (walking right up to them and asking, “Whatcha doin?”), being thoughtful (shoveling their walkways, cutting their grass), being a servant (cleaning their yard), being hospitable (inviting them to join us for cookouts, for sno-balls, etc.), being giving (giving them items we know they need), being friendly (talking to them, asking questions!!), and most importantly, BEING AROUND!!! And two, we’ve managed to not get caught up in a hyper-busy schedule, including church activities and otherwise Godly things, largely in order to be available for our neighbors. We’ve done this for them, for ourselves, and for our Savior, who just happens to be their Savior too!
This isn’t to say we never go through our busy periods. But we are trying to remain on guard, because the temptation to get busy is strong!!! My prayer today is that we will not be exceptional within the Church in fighting off busy-ness in order to be good neighbors!!!!!
PS… Monday also happened to be my (mike’s) birthday, and when I logged onto MyChurch that night, I was overwhelmed by the thoughtful, loving birthday greetings I found!! I started to email each of you to say thanks individually, but unfortunately there simply isn’t enough time. So, to each of you who took a minute or two to wish me a happy birthday, thank you from the absolute tippy bottom of my heart……you’ll never ever know how much that meant to me! |
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| To add a comment to "No time for neighbors" |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| We, too, went through that busy period.......until I saw that not only did we not have time to know our neighbors, we began to not know each other. Now, we're very selective and pray alot about what we get involved in......learning to say no, without guilt :) |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| How embarassing. I know my neighbors but only on a cordial level. That sure is convicting. |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| awesome and amazing blog and so true yes it is amen amen amen |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| God is so good!! Community is what it's all about. |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| AMEN Mike! At some point I would love to do volunteer work at the hosiptal and God's willing this may be the Summer for it, keep me in prayer that I find the time to volunteer on the weekends! |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Bro Todd : We have the bestest neighbors ever! Hubby is their go to guy, when something breaks, LOLOL Yet, when one neighbor's garden starts producing before ours.......they bring us veggies.......the other neighbor can see me mowing the yard and call when I go in and say " I know you, and you won't eat till it's through....I've got you lunch fixed"........We all watch out for each other, when dad died, I got a plant that said " We love you, Your Neighbors" Our neighborhood is the type that if we're outside and someone drives by....they stop and talk, LOL |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Cindy, wow your neighbors are awesome! Wish we all had neighbors like that. Ours are pretty close though. It helps to extend yourself (as I'm sure you know!), folks who seem unapproachable are usually just shy. Get to know em, and they can blossom into a great friend!
Lara, lol... Don't go getting yourselves into any trouble, k? After the incident w/your wedding band, I would feel terrible if your furniture or something was stolen on account of this here ol' blog. Your safety is also of great importance!!! (I guess some of us really were put here to work inside the church! lol)
Amen rebekah, Ruth, Paul, and Todd. Hey, don't feel bad Todd, I've been right where you are, even worse in fact (see blog). Sounds like a great opportunity Sandee! I'll pray the Lord has budgeted you some time for volunteer work and your neighbors! :-) |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Very true Mike. We just get so caught up we forget of our surroundings in the way of neighbors. Either that or we really don't want to get to know them,lol! |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Oh yeah! I called the cops on the neighbors the other day.. but it was knock down drag out type stuff. |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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You've written a thought-provoking blog with helpful advice on how to practically sow into our neighbors in a way that glorifies God, by first overcoming that common Christian affliction: intense busyness. Thanks for sharing! And glad you felt so blessed on your birthday :) |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Mike,
I knew this topic too well. A while back I made a commitment to get to know who are these people that I see everyday, wave at, smile at, but can't call by name. It really is a beautiful thing to establish community... especially in todays time, where everyone is so guarded.
Pastor Aminata |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Wow, Mike, we are on the same page! I did not read this before I wrote my blog!! :) Very good blog, and apparently, a great topic too! |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| I hear you, Mike! Taking time for neighbors is a rewarding thing, if we're willing to invest ourselves in getting to know them.. As I wrote about in my blog, A Plate of Cookies, God is faithful to provide us with opportunities when we ask Him, even with those "difficult" neighbors. Your blog has challenged me to step up my efforts and look for more of those opportunities. (BTW: I've continued to share cookies and other goodies with the neighbor that I wrote about, and she now comes over to chat pretty regularly and is comfortable asking us for help with those neighborly-type requests. God is good!) |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Little brother before i finished reading all you do i had to go take a nap it wore me out....Seriously you sure need to slow down and at the end here it sounds like you have (kind of)..hehehe I think you finially got it thought that God doesn't need us doing anything for Him other than Being Him in this world....(you know what i mean right) Here's what i want you to do.....Take your beautiful wife and children leave cell phones at home and get in the car go to a fast food chicken place pick up some goodies drive out into a wooded area away from everyone and have a good ole fashion family picnic.....lots of hand holding and huging the kids......if there's a lake or pond near fishing will be allowed i hear it is relaxing.....Take deep breathes and stay until the stars come out then lay back on the blanket you brought (you did remember the blanket) and gaze at the stars......enjoy......... |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Sooooooooo true...
and i don't know any of our neighbors either, but i think i have an excuse. My mom says not to go and meet the neighbors. Apparentely, i'm not allowed to be polite lol. I guess EVERYONE in our neighborhood is gonna shoot me if i walk up and say "hi, i'm Patty what's your name?" or sumthin. I dunno what's goin on.
*sssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
P.S: in case you can't read that, it says *sigh* |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Isn't it strange we sometimes get so busy doing "good" we don't do any "good"!! I find myself in that rat race sometimes too, and have to back off. |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Patty, lol
Rosie, thank you for looking out for us! Yes, we could stand to get away as a family, but we're not too overworked or exhausted.....we've stood fast against the temptation to get busy, for the most part. Well, I have at least. I think you need to talk to Laura! lol
Wow Jen, the Plate o' Cookies blog is an oldie (and a goodie, thanks for posting the link!). Funny, that blog of yours was timed about when we hosted the neighbors for steamed crabs...yummmm! I like your idea of sharing cookies, inspires me to want to learn how to bake! |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| hmmmmm, just looked in the neighbor's backyard, their lettuce is almost ready to eat, LOLOL |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Boy, this sounds familiar...we too are working to be better in regards to our immediate neighbors....some times it is easy to get wrapped up in the wrong things |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Good blog as usual Mike. Oh...happy belated birthday :-) |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Nice Blog Mike and am so happy you had a good birthday |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| great blog |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Mike, did'nt you used to live behind my house?
I thought you were watching us a whole lot!
All joking aside, you did describe my family a few years back with your first few paragraphs.
We are getting better, not there yet, but moving toward living a picture of Christ to our neighborhood that would be enticing to them, not revolting.
Kinda reminds me of our high school senior play, we changed the title from Hip Hippy Horray, to a most powerfull line from the play, "If that's where it's at, I'm not going". |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Happy Belated BD my friend
Good blog! I understand how you feel well kinda....I dont have the family and all yet but I do overschedule myself ALOT.
Well thanks again
Jeremy |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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Tom, it is indeed encouraging to hear your neighbors are enjoying more and more of....YOU!!
Thank you Patrick, 4Given, and Zach (wow, great to hear from you once again-- are you here to stay, buddy?)...!!!
Gatsby...excellent! The Lord is using you to speak this message to others here as well.
Cindy Lou...lol! (trust me, stealing lettuce is no way to get involved in the neighbors' lives in a positive way!)
Shirley, I've had to back off a few times myself!
Thanks Elizabeth (I'm gonna start calling you Liz!), Janell, Ruth, Pastor Tim!!! |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| Jeremy - thanks for the bday wishes! Hope you manage to remain "unbusy"....at least to the degree that you are able to share YOU with your neighbors....trust me, they will be blessed! (as we are) |
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| May 28, 2008 |
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| I always think of the old timers that had no tv,s they probably never saw a person dismembered or blowed in 2 with a shotgun! several times per night.in their life.The only reality was in their lives,and the only desperat housewives was getting the wash off the line before it rained.No elecrtic lights to stay up watching soccer or t ball or sports... even on tv. poor folks all they had was work family reading radio and CHURCH how miserable no cell phones to recieve bad news and gossip. |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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| Hi there ! Happy belated Birthday. I would have said so Monday, but I was no-where near a computer as I was still in Pittsburgh for Jasmynes Final tournament of the season _ Yahoo the season is finally over. BTW - great Blog, my only neighbors are my aunts. one lives next door, one lives behind me, but there is a neighborhood not too far from me. I should definitly get to know some of them... hey mabe thats why the Lord put my little puppy in our lives... mabe I am supposed to walk her over in the neighborhood? God always provides a way , I just need to heed it! See you Sunday!- Tam |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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I loved this post!! God had us when we first moved into this neighborhood the youngest couple and the only ones with kids on this end of the street. We were surrounded by Elderly folks who watched our house like Hawks. Friends of ours would come by and they would pop out and say they arent home or whatever. My Friends were like how can you stand it, I was like I love it!!! They watch out for us. One of the gentleman living just 2 doors down when we were looking for a new vehicle came and took a look at the one we were going to buy, He says better negotiate some new tires those are only good for so many more miles! We did and got the tires!!
When it snows my husband and son are out there shoveling and snow blowing all the sidewalks and stairs for them all!! I tell my son make it so if something happens someone can get to them. he does and most of them try to chase him down to pay him and my husband too but they both just shake it off!! We have since gotten many new neighbors I know some not all but one thing is for sure we all help each other out!! |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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beauty...that's awesome! Elderly folks LOVE kids! It seems God put your family there to minister specifically to that group of neighbors.....awesome!!
Christianttt, a bit of an anti-technology bent to your comment there....I'm with you! (yeah, chuck that ol TV!) |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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Gee, thanks Mike, for bringing that neighbor thing up again. Actually I mean that, God has been speaking to my heart about how I deal with my neighbors. I know many of them fairly well, but I don't often act in an intentional way toward bring them to Christ. I will spend more time in prayer seeking how God wants to use me in their lives. Thanks again for the reminder to love my neighbor.
peace |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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| I soooo love how you get everyone going Mike! |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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see... Mike = CIC
with a side of LOL |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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Dearest of Mike...
We need to do that with our neighborhood. We've lived her for 17 years and people have come and gone over the years. I know the most people.
In fact, I sit out out in the front yard so I could get to know people! I have not done that for a long time.
It is chair sittin' time !! Time for a block revival !! |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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| Wish I could do some chair sittin w/ya, Joey! |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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One of the reasons why we keep to ourselves these days is because the world has changed from when I was younger. Remember when you heard an older person say that they kept the doors unlocked while they were away? It's true, we didn't have the crime and weirdos (can I say that?) that we do now, so people tend to lock up and shut up.
So, that's the problem, what's the solution? I don't have the answers, moving isn't always the answer but I'm glad it worked out for you. I'm beginning to think that we are in the end times. What say you? Jesus coming soon?
Great blog, Mike, it's actually what we should be doing when He comes--being a good and faithful servant! PTL
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| May 29, 2008 |
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| Awesome blog.... and I must shamefully admit, that I am guilty of not knowing my neighbors. This is an area I need to work on and your blog mentioned several ways. God Bless... Thanks for stepping on my toes!!! |
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| May 29, 2008 |
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Oh Cheryl (fr GA), never meant to step on your toes....no shaming here!! Seriously, glad to hear from ya, and so happy to hear that the Lord may be speaking to you in regards to your neighbors! For 2.5 yrs he beat me up! No more. Now I'm doing at least some of what I should have done all along. Ed, I hear ya! Some of us do have valid security concerns. If that's the case, I'm sure God will get the willing believer into their neighbors' lives somehow, as long as they are willing to trust Him. Thanks for the comment! God bless! |
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| June 01, 2008 |
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It is up to us to make the first effort. Material things are of little value compared to life. |
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| June 03, 2008 |
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My family has gone through this "too busy" stage also and God plucked us up and moved us in order to shift our priorities. We were suffering from imbalance, disobedience and a disunited and empty family. We now pray first before saying yes to any new ministry, and we are getting to know the people who also share the same section of the neighborhood we do. Great post and a wonderful reminder!
I saw Joyce Meyer at a conference I went to last year and she said something that has stuck with me, but forgive me, my memory is not that excellent and my notebook is at home, so here's the paraphrase: We as Christians can be so busy working for the Lord that we forget to spend time with Him.
So, now no matter what, I try not to fill my or my family's schedule so much so that we aren't spending time with God, or not able to fellowship with our extended family, friends and neighbors.
God bless you! |
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| June 03, 2008 |
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| Pru, wonderful to hear, thanks! Funny, I just read a book that highlighted that same problem, "too busy working for the Lord to actually spend any time with him!" Glad to hear that he intervened, and also good to hear about your resolve. Great example! |
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| June 03, 2008 |
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I know this situation well. We drove 45 minutes to church 1 to several times a week. When we started a home church one of our desires was to get out of the mind set of I'm going to church to being the church. Big difference.
We had a couple in our neighborhood (and yes I know their name) who found out the husband had cancer. We have over the last several years had a block party in our yard. This time when we sent out invitations we shared the need to all of the neighbors. It turned out to be one of the greatest offerings we ever took. The neighborhood collected over $300 to help pay for expenses for his wife. Not only that but the whole neighborhood took time to pray over this person during the block party. I am happy to report he has just had a 6 month check up and is still cancer free.
It is awesome to watch the neighborhood act like the church should even if they all may not know what they are doing. We consider our neighborhood part of our church not just some outreach event. Jesus is in all of us and we will be amazed what He can do when we stop being so busy and take the time to start loving. Jesus told us to pray for laborers and to look for a person of peace. LK. 10. They are right under our noses.
Sorry if I am rambling you just hit a chord. Thank you! Great bloggin |
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| June 03, 2008 |
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| Anthony, the efforts you put forth within your neighborhood are inspiring, encouraging, and most praiseworthy!! What a fabulous example of being the church, rather than merely going to a church and leaving behind the neighborhood God planted you in!! BRAVO!!! |
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| June 10, 2008 |
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Another great blog Mike.God has blessed us with some great neighbors,and others that are a little harder to love.I feel like God has planted them and us near one another for a reason.I need to step up to the bat.God tells me everywhere in in sermons, in my dreams and now in blogs. |
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