|
|
| |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| One to Three Weeks |
|
| |
One to three weeks, that is what the vet told me today when I asked him how long Zagnut had. From a cat who has spent his whole life being perfectly healthy, hardly ever sick, to this. I am having a really hard time processing it. Especially since it has happened so quickly.
Would it have made a difference to have noticed sooner that things weren't right? And taken him to the vet earlier? Probably, but who knows. But it doesn't matter now, because I have to prepare to say good bye to my friend. And I don't have a clue how to do that.
11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
This verse is one of the hardest for me, because it isn't completely true. It should have an addition to the end of the sentence, such as "as long as it is God's will". No matter what I pray for, if it isn't in God's will, it will not be mine. Apparently, God does not want my cat to continue in his life until he is old and has lived as long as the average cat lives. He wants me to go through the painful loss that this is for me for some unexplained reason. Because, I have spent the whole week in prayer for my cat. I have fasted, I have lain prostrate, pleading with Him to spare Zagnut's life, and I have believed He would do it. To no avail. My will is not His. End of story.
I have brought him home to die. If he gets to the point where he is suffering, I will put him to sleep. I don't want to do that, and I ask the Lord to take it out of my hands. Although He hasn't been very helpful in this whole situation so far, I doubt that will happen. I will probably have to go through that painful process too. And let me tell you, if you have never sat with a pet that has been your faithful friend for many years, as the vet injects them with a lethal injection, you cannot imagine how awful an experience that is. But I will sit with him until the end. He has been my faithful friend, and I will be his until the final day. No matter how much it hurts.
God I just don't understand. He has never been sick, and now all of a sudden he is dying. He could have four or five more years, if he were to stay healthy, maybe longer. Why are you taking him so soon? Is it because I have loved him too much? Have I held him too closely? Elevated him to too high of a place in my life?
I know he is a gift from you, and you have the right to take him back. And I know I will get through it. But Lord, how it hurts. I know we were not promised that this life would be easy. And if anyone understands how important animals are in my life, it is you. But it hurts so badly to say good bye. The pain is unbearable to watch them slowly die.
Everything happens for a reason, and you work everything to good, but I honestly don't see what possible good is going to come out of this. Only the end of life, where there is no more pain like this, will be the one thing that will be better. If you are trying to make me stronger, I'd rather pass on this test. But since I don't have a choice Lord, help me get through it. Because right now, I don't know how.
|
|
| To leave a comment or start your own blog: |
 |
or |
 |
Already a member? Login |
|
|
|
|
| It is hard. I held my 15 year old cat while they injected him....he was still okay, but his bowels were going, and he was having accidents......but it ain't over til it's over. I agree with you, if it's God's will, it will be done. If it's not, it won't. And if God chooses not to intervene between now and the next 1-3 weeks, then I want you to know that I care and do have empathy in how hard that is. You aren't alone in this. I will be praying even now, that if it's God's will, even now He can still spare your cat. |
|
|
Jen |
 |
June 07, 2008 at 10:41am |
|
| Praying for you, Deb. |
|
|
Deb |
|
June 07, 2008 at 10:57am |
|
Lara, thank you. It is so hard...I have had to put two of my cats to sleep not too long ago, within a year of eachother, but they were both over 16 years old. I have a diabetic cat that is 17, and I thought he would be next, but he is still kicking, and now this guy, who is only 12, and this was all just a shock. I know I will get through it, but it is so hard.
Jen, thank you. |
|
|
Deb |
|
June 07, 2008 at 11:10am |
|
| Steven, I appreciate your comments and prayers, more than you know. I know how hard it is to lose your mother, and since you have been through losing your best friend too, you can relate to my pain now. Thank you brother, for caring. |
|
|
| Lord, send Deb a new baby |
|
|
| At our house our cat and dog are like our children, so losing them would be difficult. I will be praying for you. |
|
|
Cheryl |
|
June 07, 2008 at 12:02pm |
|
| still praying, thanks for the update...we love you |
|
|
awllllllllll Deb this has gotta be rough. I have not yet had to deal with the loss of any pets,but I do have 2 cats that I just love and adore and the thought of it just breaks my heart. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and give Zagnut some lovin pets for me.  |
|
|
| Deb,here is a Big Hug for you.As a sister in Christ and as a lover of animals(sometimes more than of people),my heart breaks with you.God could still intervene for Zagnut,but if He doesn't, keep on talking to God.He will give you the grace to get through it as well as comfort you.I know these words might sound like they are coming up short,but God loves you and Zagnut,and He does care.Will contimue to pray for Zagnut and for you. |
|
|
Jade |
|
June 07, 2008 at 4:38pm |
|
praying as I understand the loss you are going through. Appreciate the time you have left with him and give him some special love and attention. He knows that he is loved greatly by you and thats what matters, that when he does go he goes peacfully (or as peacfully as possible) and knowing that he is safe warm and loved. you are in my prayers friend... |
|
|
| Deb, it would be very hard on me if I tried to empathize w/you, having lost one already. Now on just my second "kitty"- I know I'll be devastated when the Lord takes him. My heart is entirely with you. |
|
|
| i have lost 9 cat's and i know how it feels and also lost a dog in the process because my sister opened the van door and let our jack russell get in the car and so when they had called for the dog they didn't find her in the house and so ember was left in the car and my dad didn't know but my sister had seen it in the car and going in the car and she had let my dad close the door anyways and the dog ended up dying from heat exhastion and i had just gone to a talent show at a christian school and came home to that and people have ran over most of my cat's because they didn't care about my cat's and didn't care for animals at all and they were speeding anyways so it was their fault and they had to get us a new cat if they ran over them cuz we never chased them into the street and it hurt so much plus when i was 7yrs old my brother patrick told me to play a game with him and he said that we were going to hold the cat's head under water and he did it first and than said the cat liked water and i didn't know they didn't like water so i did it too and it died right in my hands and started to poop uncontrollably and my dad punished me for something i didn't understand at all that i had done and than just three months ago another kitten that had almost been killed by almost being flushed down the toilet and so he hid behind the toilet and was there for two weeks and than my neighbores friend found it in the bathroom behind the toilet and took it to my neighbores work and her name is martina and she came home banged on my door very hard and i'd thought someone had died but it was a cat that was almost dead and than she was feeding it simalac and ur not suppose to feed it infent milk meaning baby milk and so we went and got kitten milk and than i saved it's life and i took it to the vet and had loads of things that the cat had to get done and than later like almost two months their was alot of flees and we got rid of them and they came back and then we got rid of them again and than my cat got sick some how cuz what happened was he wasn't breathing and he was squarming and i held him and started to cry and he died in my hands so i understand what it feels like plus alot of my elderly friends have died both this year last year and the year before that so i understand what it feels like ok just understand my prayers are with u forever even though im still hurting alot im praying for u still in christ jesus ok god bless u richly and abundantly and bountifully love u very much always and forever |
|
|
Deb |
|
June 09, 2008 at 11:02am |
|
Bubbles, lol, I have to laugh. I have eight cats inside and many more outside. I have kittens outside and if I wanted another one inside I could easily take one in. But Zagnut is not replaceable. He is a one of a kind. That is why it is so hard.
Pastor Tim, I have no kids, so my cats are my kids. It is rough, especially watching him get more feeble.
Cheryl, thank you.
Tina, I have been lovin' on Zagnut as much as he will allow. I think he is tired of all the attention. I hope you will have your cats with you for a long, long time.
racunpoodle, I have had to learn that God is not taking Zagnut away from me by not intervening in this. I know it is because we live in a world where death is a part of life, and this is just the way it is. Still it is just so hard...and yes, I am continuing to stay close to Him, especially now. I don't think I could keep going if it were not for Him.
Jade, thank you. My prayer is for God to take him in his sleep. I don't know how I will ever make the decision to put him down if it comes to that. So I am hoping God will spare me. I am just trying to keep him as comfortable as possible.
Mike, thank you.
Rebekah, You made me tired just reading your comment :) I am sorry all of that stuff has happened to you. Goodness, how awful! I do appreciate your prayers. |
|
|
| My sympathies are with you. I have not been in your shoes yet, but know it will come, and I know I will be heartbroken. I have a thirteen year old Yorkie who I have had since he was 6 weeks old. I really dread the thought of the day coming when I will be faced with his death or having to put him down for his own sake. |
|
|
Deb |
|
June 10, 2008 at 8:18am |
|
| Shirley, A couple of years ago, I had two cats I had to have put to sleep within a year of each other, they were both over 16 years old and had been with me all of their lives. That was rough, but this is harder because he is young yet, and I thought I would have more time. I guess we aren't guaranteed they will live their life expectancy, just like humans aren't guaranteed that. Take each day as it comes and grab hold of it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
back to top
